GLEE: "Never Been Kissed"

Well, so much for timely Glee reflections. It's been so long, I don't even totally remember this episode, so hopefully I'll be able to interpret my notes.

I figured pretty early on that this one was written by Brad Falchuck. We got more of the snarky humor back, Sue got to be mean, and the return of Coach Beiste. There were things that bothered me, but will get to those in due time.

The episode opened with Quinn and Sam making out. I gotta say, I like the new celibate Quinn. Compare her to the Quinn we met last year who was in the "celibacy" club almost as a joke; a way to tease boys. After her pregnancy, she sees things differently, and understands that maybe her daddy was right about abstinence. I think Quinn can help make this sort of thing "cool". Anyway, this leads Sam to want some way to cool off when things are getting hot. There's a great callback to Finn's memory of hitting the mailman from last season. That was classic. So Sam needs to find his "mailman" and finds it in the image of Coach Beiste picking a wedgie. What should have been a one-off joke ended up being a recurring theme to the episode. Sam ends up fantasizing about Beiste when he's with Quinn, and ends up calling out her name, which weirds Quinn out (and rightly so). But to make things that much weirder, Mike Chang and Tina have heard about this and use the same technique... and it's TINA who calls out "Beiste". Yeah, that's all kinds of weird. We get some odd funny fantasy moments with Beiste in lingerie or whatever (the best is probably her as a ballerina). But thankfully the episode goes in a more serious direction by showing how this effects Coach Beiste. When she hears from Mr. Shue that the boys are picturing a sexy Coach Beiste as a kind of sexual palette cleanser, she is offended and saddened. So much so that she decides to quit and leave the school. We get a very heartfelt moment as Mr. Shue tries to urge her to reconsider and she talks about how she wants to be able to feel pretty. That she has never been kissed and has always felt like an outsider. I love this character. And as somebody who's also never been really kissed, outside a stage kiss or this one other thing that totally doesn't count, I get it. Mr. Shue kisses her, and convinces her to stay. Granted, if I were her I'm not sure I'd want his pity kiss, but it's the thought that counts.

Meanwhile, Mr. Shue has decided to have another boys vs. girls mash-up competition like they did last year. I was very excited about this. Again, Kurt is forced to be with the boys. This bothers him, and finally Mr. Shue calls him on the fact that he's been acting weird recently. This was a development I was liking this season. Unfortunately, they undo most of that goodwill by having Kurt explain that he's being the only out gay kid at the school is getting to him. So he's acting out because he's gay? Sorry, shut up Kurt. Just shut up. I get that being alone is depressing. I get that it's weird being an outcast. Well you know what, I was alone in high school. It was depressing. I was called a queer. But so was Coach Beiste, and so are others. Others are bullied at this school and others are outcasts at this school; it's not just you Kurt. I get that he has certain feelings, but I just don't see why they had to make it all come down to his sexuality AGAIN. Kurt HAS to be more than sexual orientation or he is not a character, he's a type.

Puck has come back from juvenile detention, on the condition that he do community service. He decides to fill this by being Artie's friend, helping out a cripple. So he hangs out with Artie, giving him secrets to picking up girls, helping him get back with Brittany. He even calls him "Professor X" at one point, which I thought was fun.

There were fewer songs in tonight's episode. The first involved Artie and Puck busking in the courtyard to make some money. Now, we can argue the ethics of students busking at school (for those not into the lingo, that means street performing), and students paying them. But they do make money singing the reggae classic "One Love". But this weird moment comes in, when suddenly students come by with steel drums and play along. Why the heck are there steel drummers at this school? Why do they suddenly show up? That sort of thing makes sense in a fantasy, but this is supposed to be real world, and it's just bizarre.

The other main theme in this episode is bullying, as Kurt is constantly tormented by this one football player. I have to say, this whole section of the episode felt so artificial to me. Again, I understand bullying and harassment, but this felt too "ripped from the headlines" for me. I get that there's a rash of teen suicides due to bullying, and that many recently have been gay. But I'm getting offended at the idea that ONLY gay kids are bullied or that gay kids are uniquely bullied. Especially on this show, where kids are routinely slushied in the face or thrown in dumpsters. I think we do everyone a disservice when we focus on the bullied teens as gay rather than as bullied teens. It doesn't matter WHY they are picked on, just that they are. It continues to make them an "other" even after their deaths. Anyway, Kurt here is picked on and feels like nobody notices. This is a fair point. But maybe no one notices because most of the glee kids are picked on in some way. Was this guy on the football team last year when Kurt was? Why isn't Kurt still playing, by the way? Did he decide he didn't need to do it just to win his dad's approval?

The names of their competition for Sectionals are announced. Kurt goes to one of them, an all boy prep school, to spy on their glee club. What he gets is a dream come true for him. They are very inviting, the glee club "are like rock stars" and their lead is gay. Kurt seems to be basking in the glow of it all as 20 or so clean cut boys sing an a capella version of Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream". Now, I'm no fan of Katy Perry. But the song is not terrible, and actually sounds better divorced from Katy's vocals (sorry, the girl can't sing). Some of the lyrics sound a little odd coming from male voices, but otherwise it was an interesting choice. This leaves Kurt to wonder if they are all gay. When this scene first started, there was no real context for Kurt being there. He just showed up and claimed to be a new student. There was something so perfect and unreal about the whole thing that I seriously wondered if this was some dream Kurt was having. The use of "Teenage Dream" seemed to reinforce that, but we later learn that this is real and that he really was spying on them. They figure it out because Kurt's a bad spy, and are very accepting of him. The lead (whose name I forget) is played by Darren Criss of A Very Potter Musical internet fame. He tells Kurt that he came to this school after being bullied for his sexuality as well. But he advises Kurt not to run away like he did, but to be brave and stand strong.

So Kurt then confronts his bully the next time he's picked on. The guy throws gaytred at Kurt (new word I'm trying out. Gaytred: hatred of gays. Trying to avoid "homophobia" which isn't necessarily accurate). Kurt stands his ground saying he could never "punch the gay out of me". And then it happens... the dude kisses Kurt. Good God, people, I am so TIRED of this. Every homophobe is a closet homsexual, right? Has this ever been true in real life? It's one of those things that is always done on TV and it felt so strange here. I was hoping and hoping they wouldn't go there, but they did. I find that very lame. And it bothers Kurt especially because he has never been kissed, and now his first kiss was an unwelcome one from some sweaty jock who hates him. Afterward, the guy still hates and picks on him and pretends like it didn't happen. I'm just tired of the assumption and presentation that this kind of vitriol is actually misdirected self-loathing.

Despite these events, Kurt has at least stood up for himself, and now keeps a picture of the prep school guy in his locker. He's totally crushing on him. This leads us to wonder what repercussions it will have for the Glee club. Will the two become an item? Will Kurt leave school for the other glee club? Will the other guy come to New Directions? I really hope not. While someone for Kurt is nice, I would really rather they not just retread the same stuff they did with Jesse St. James last year. In any case, the connection between the two should make Sectionals interesting.

Oh, before we go anywhere else, I should also say that I made a prediction the first episode that Sunshine, the Filipino girl, would return in five episodes. It's been five, and that didn't happen. Oh well. I amend that prediction to say she will rejoin New Directions within 5 episodes that she appears in. But I'm probably wrong.

Back to the boys vs. girls competition. To appease Kurt, Mr. Shue orders that each group perform something by someone of the opposite gender. That is, the girls should embrace more masculine classic rock stuff, and the boys do something more feminine. So the girls rock out with a mash-up of "Start Me Up" and "Livin' On a Prayer", with some very 1980s glam rock style. It's pretty good. The episode ends with the boys doing a performance specially for Coach Beiste: "Stop in the Name of Love" mixed with En Vogue's "Free Your Mind". I thought it was decent, and they do a good job with a girl group song. However, "Free Your Mind" is also very explicitly about race relations, and the lyric about being color-blind just didn't fit the scenario all that well. Last year I preferred the boys' team; this time it was easily the girls.

There were some nice moments in this episode, and some really funny bits with Sue. I loved her running disgust of the image of Coach Beiste running through her head. But there was also some of what I consider lazy television convention that took real issues and in some ways trivialized them or made too much of them. It wasn't a bad episode, but some bits of it didn't sit well with me.

Songs in tonights episode:

One Love

Teenage Dream

Livin' On a Prayer/Start Me Up

Stop in the Name of Love/Free Your Mind

Next week, er, tonight:

No no no, here we go again. It's Gwyneth Paltrow guest-starring on this show for no reason. I'm sure this has less to do with her appearance in that movie Duets and more with the fact that she has a new movie to promote. This is just shameless cross-promotion to remind us that she's in a film soon coming where she plays a country singer. Didn't she just perform at the CMAs too? I tell you, Glee has got to avoid these celebrity guest things or it will be its undoing.

my favorite Alanis song

Now, Alanis Morissette can be very hit or miss musically. She hasn't had anything that hit so well as her first album. But this is one of those lesser known more recent gems that I like best. It's called "Simple Together", and is a very good song for sad and lonely.

Waking Snow White

I've added a link in my list to the left to a blog I've been following. With the release of Tangled, Disney's 50th animated classic due out in couple weeks, I watched all Disney's previous animated theatrical releases (even the horrible sequels) over the summer. I even rated them on a number of different criteria to help get a sense of an overall ranking, just because it interested me.

Over on the IMDb message board for Tangled, I came across a poster who said she was going to be watching each of the previous 49 films in preparation for the new one, and blogging the experience. As I had recently done this myself, I thought it would be fun to relive it through her eyes. She has so far also alerted me to a few things I didn't even know. Another nice feature of her blog is that when applicable she ties the film in to some element of the theme parks. As I've never had the opportunity to visit a Disney park, this is an enjoyable feature.

Anyway, if you're into Disney and would like to relive the legacy along with us, pop on over to Breanna's blog. I try to leave my own thoughts for each film in the comments section. I even got a shout-out in tonight's piece on Make Mine Music! Thanks, Breanna!

Pain -- Johnny Cash style

This is a Nine Inch Nails song, but many of us believe Johnny Cash's version to be definitive.

What We Left in Kilkelly

There's a very lovely Irish song called Kilkelly written by an American composer named Peter Jonas. The song is taken from the text of actual letters sent to his great-grandfather which he discovered in his parents' attic.

There's this pervasive notion in America that progress and the natural way of things means just "moving on" and leaving things behind; abandoning family or obligations for a perceived freedom. Some of us don't hold to these ethereal notions. One cannot listen to this song, especially knowing the truth behind it, and not feel bad about a culture that leaves people behind like this.

GLEE: "The Rocky Horror Glee Show"

Yet another theme show, and one that's had a lot of press leading up to it. Again, I'm not a huge fan of the theme episodes. The Britney Spears show exceeded my expectations. Sad to say that while this episode was not a total bust, it did not.

From the very opening, I was disappointed. I had hoped that we would just have an episode where the cast does a school musical, and it's The Rocky Horror Show, and we hear the songs etc. But no, the episode opened just like the movie, with the singing disembodied lips (Quinn's I believe), and that's when it was clear that the episode was much more about The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Why should this matter? Because it's a distinction that annoys me. I feel like on the whole the episode was trying so hard to do homage, but didn't exactly achieve it as it could have. Having said this, it was a cute opening on its own terms, mimicking the film's opening, complete with title card (the first time an episode title has appeared on-screen) and fake credits.

It seems that Emma and her hot dentist boyfriend have been getting along great, so much that her OCD is getting better. She and Carl went to a screening of Rocky Horror and she was able to handle the mess. This makes Mr. Shue jealous, so he tells her that he loves the show and is going to have the glee club put it on at the school. Emma suggests this will be problematic due to the adult themes, but he brushes it off saying he'll make some edits.

The issue of appropriateness is the source of most of the episode's drama, though it's somewhat poorly handled. Even the kids question whether they can do it. Kurt points out there are high schools that have tried to put on Rent and been stopped. This is true. Of course on the other hand, there are high schools that do Equus. Certainly it's controversial, but is doing an edited Rocky Horror really all that different from doing an edited Grease? I mean, how many schools do Grease, and that show has racy content as well (often the lyrics are changed. Heck, in the script available from Samuel French the lyrics to "Greased Lightning" are all bowdlerized). But I was wondering exactly how Shue was going to edit the piece. As it turns out, not well. But he does do the smart thing and hand out permission slips so that if parents object, the students don't do the show. This seems reasonable.

Mr. Shue assigns parts for the play. Rachel volunteers her and Finn for Brad and Janet (obviously). Artie is of course Dr. Scott, since he's in a wheelchair. Sam is cast as Rocky, which is not surprising; he actually looks a lot like him. When Shue suggests Kurt be Frank-n-Furter, Kurt objects. He says no due to the transvestite outfit and all. ...I'm sorry, who are you and what have you done with Kurt? Where's the flamboyant Kurt who just last episode was performing from Victor/Victoria and embracing his feminine side? Where's the Kurt who put on a leotard and danced to "Single Ladies" in his basement? You would think Kurt would be all into this! Especially since Frank seduces Brad (Finn) and has his boy toy Rocky (Sam). How is this not a slam dunk for Kurt? Plus he gets all the best songs! There is no good reason for this to be that way other than the writers want to be different for no good reason (and create drama for the rest of the episode about who will play Frank). Kurt really has no motivation for refusing. Was it maybe that his voice isn't quite suited to the range of the songs? I just don't get it. He's the guy who had the whole football team doing Beyonce dance moves, and he doesn't want to appear onstage in drag? Give me a break.

Mike Chang suggests he would like to play Frank. Interesting idea, though he doesn't quite have the voice. Then again, a lot of Tim Curry's style was talking on pitch for chunks of it. But before we get to see Mike do any performance, his mom refuses to sign the permission slip and he is out. It's a bummer because I would have preferred it to what we got.

Meanwhile, word has reached the local news channel where Sue does her weekly "Sue's Corner" segment about the production. They want her to do a piece on it and how wrong it is, promising it could earn her an Emmy (which is it's own inside joke now that Jane Lynch has an Emmy). And the execs from the station are played by none other than original movie cast members Barry Bostwick and Meat Loaf! It was a nice cameo appearance. Again though, it makes the episode more about being a disjointed love letter to the movie than its own entity.

I started to get really annoyed that "the show" was used to refer to the movie and the stage show interchangeably.

There's another of those teeny little dialogue gags that I love when Carl meets Sue Sylvester. He's wearing a black suit; he shakes her hand and says, "Sue, how do you do?" This really felt like a nod to Johnny Cash's "Boy Named Sue" (he even inflects the same way).

Sue has been cast in the show as well as the criminologist (actually, a decent part for her). In the end, she will use this as an excuse that she was "undercover" investigating the play. With no Frank, she suggest to Carl that he get involved in the show since he knows all the songs and such. He auditions with a performance of "Whatever Happened to Saturday Night" (also known as "Hot Patootie"). The song is pretty good. It's nice hearing Stamos sing on TV again and he does a good job. The choreography is fun. Why did it take so long to get him a song on this show? He sang on Full House all the time! He performed with the Beach Boys! Get him singing more! But I was watching thinking, "why is he singing for Eddie?"

Thankfully when the song was over, Sue asked my question. "That's Eddie's song and I cut him out of the show in my rewrite!" Apparently, Carl refuses to play Frank as he feels it would be inappropriate to come on to high school students in drag onstage. He wants to play Eddie. So Eddie is back into the script and we still have no Frank. Oh wait, Mercedes just volunteered. That's right, Mercedes volunteered. Um, darlin' do you understand what you're doing? She says that she was taken with the lyric "don't dream it; be it" and that she always wanted to be a lead, so this is her chance. Sorry, no. The role is for a man. That's the whole point of the character. And Mercedes, that lyric you fell in love with, you have no idea what it means. In context, it's sexual brainwashing from an alien being meant to tempt humanity to decadence. I mean, there's even the reference to Lily St. Cyr in the song. Who was she? A burlesque performer. ...What exactly were Shue's edits here?

So then we are subjected to Mercedes as Frank performing "Sweet Transvestite." There is so much wrong with this I don't know where to start. Was the only reason Kurt refused just for the writers to get Mercedes singing this? She has also altered the lyric. I thought it might have been passible if she were "a woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman" a la Victor/Victoria. But no, her lyric changes make clear that she is a woman ("I'm not much of a girl by the light of day"). And what's her costume? She's in a leather bustier and skirt with some big ol' boots. Or more simply, she's dressed like a girl. So she's a girl, dressed like a girl. But she keeps singing "I'm just a sweet transvestite." No you're not, you idiot! If you're not crossdressing, you're not a transvestite! There's even further sacrilege in that she sings that she's from "sensational (or sinsational?) Transylvania" instead of "Transexual Transylvania". Was this just for the kids watching at home? In the context of the show, Transexual is the name of the planet they are from. Come on! The whole number was a mistake, and to make it worse, Mercedes totally oversang it. Few can match Tim Curry, but this was nothing CLOSE.

At that point, Carl bursts through the wall as Eddie. But that wasn't his cue. He just "felt it was right". Mr. Shue points out he doesn't come through the wall until the dinner party. ...Wait a minute, I'm trying to remember the film, but Eddie DOESN'T burst in on the dinner party, does he? He interrupts them in the lab during the Charles Atlas song.

The best part of the episode for me was the very relevant issue of male body image. Finn is insecure when he learns Brad spends much of the show in his underwear. Sam on the other hand is ripped so he doesn't mind being half-naked. Or so he thinks. After some time in the costume, he gets a little embarrassed too. There's some very good interaction with Finn and Sam as they work out and talk about looking good and the work that it takes and why they should have to be so self-conscious. These are real issues and I'm glad they were being discussed; eating disorders and body dysmorphic disorders are not female only. Men really are as concerned about appearance, more then they let on. I was a fat kid in high school; I remember. I remember doing King and I and having my gut exposed (and having to shave my chest for it). However, for all this the show missed a golden opportunity to use more Rocky Horror music. Wouldn't this have been a sensible way to work in "Charles Atlas Song"? Come on, writers! This thing writes itself! Why are you so clueless?

Anyway, Mr. Shue continues to be jealous of Carl and sees Sam's slight reluctance as an opportunity; he will relieve Sam of the role and play Rocky himself. He claims that the role is just too mature for a high schooler. Um, okay, so this means that a teacher is going to have a student fondle him and sing "Toucha Toucha Touch Me"? Yeah, 'cause THAT's more appropriate... It's really all just to impress Emma.

In that vane, Emma helps him "rehearse" the aforementioned "Touch Me" song. Now I have to ask again, what edits did Shue make? There are a few klunky lyric changes that feel like a censored performance of "Beauty School Dropout" (I've seen it done with the lyric "no customer would go to you unless somebody took 'er" instead of the other). Wouldn't it have been safer to cut the entire song? I mean, a few lyric drops aside, it's still all about getting boned by a stranger. It's nice to hear Emma sing again, though her voice sounded a bit odd here. Some of the best lyrics in the song were changed. They swapped "heavy sweating" for "heavy petting" and the brilliant "seat wetting" was altered to something like fretting which sounded awful. I mean, why even do the song without that? Thank God we only saw it done with Emma and Shue; perish the thought of seeing Mr. Shue and Rachel perform this (coming off of last year's crush on him, this would have been really awkward with Rachel I think). To make matters worse, the whole thing was staged just like the movie. Santana and Brittany watch out the window in place of Magenta and Columbia. Then there's a really awkward moment toward the end of the song where Emma is lying on the desk, and we see everyone do the "creature of the night" lyric just like in the movie. Only it makes absolutely no sense in this context. Why is Finn suddenly there singing? Or Artie? Or Kurt? I hope Emma's not actually fantasizing this? It all seemed like a slavish retread of the film that made no real sense in context.

There's a sweet subplot running through the episode with Becky trick-or-treating dressed as Sue. When she comes to Mr. Shue asking for candy, he apologizes, saying he forgot about it. After the scene plays out, she gets a brilliant capper for it. In full Sue Sylvester mode, Becky turns to Mr. Shue and says, "Give me some chocolate or I will cut you." It was just so hilarious. I love that they continue to let Becky make jokes instead of MAKING Becky the joke.

Mr. Shue discovers Sue's plan to expose the show as bad for the community. They discuss it, and Sue gives a rousing speech about exposing children unnecessarily to things they need not be exposed to. That they may be bombarded by adult content all the time, but that's no reason to give it to them willingly. Shue agrees, and decides not to put on the play. Um, that's all nice and all, but since this entire episode of Glee just exposed the kids of the nation to Rocky Horror, isn't the episode sending a VERY mixed message? It's also funny that this comes on the heels of the GQ photo shoot scandal.

I also have to question all the logic of this episode's stage production. How much time elapsed between the decision to do the show and that first dress rehearsal? Because Halloween was approaching at the start of the episode. Am I to believe Mr. Shue cast, rehearsed and costumed an ENTIRE MUSICAL in the span of maybe two weeks at most? What? And what about the set construction? Furthermore, now that there will be no performance, what becomes of all that wasted effort? They were going to use the admission money to fund the trip to Nationals. Now they don't get that revenue. And who payed for the elaborate set and costumes? What kind of an irresponsible decision was that?? Now the glee club is financially in the hole! Maybe Sue payed it out of her Cheerio budget. I hope they at least rent some of this stuff out to some theater company or something.

The episode ends with Mr. Shue deciding the group would put the show on for themselves without an audience. And they do (with an all student cast). We watch them do the Time Warp, the end. Mr. Shue even goes so far as to say that what midnight screenings of Rocky Horror were really about was the unity of outsiders or some such thing. Sorry, I think that's nonsense. Furthermore, it's really specious to link the point of Rocky Horror to the point of the midnight screening culture. The show and film existed before it became the cult thing that it is now. They might seem inextricably linked but it wasn't always that way. Man, I found this episode rather simplistic. Oh, and the Time Warp vocals weren't even that good. Kurt's Riff Raff was okay, but Quinn's vocal was terrible. And she can sing! She affected some odd deep register that just sounded bad.

I was really underwhelmed by this episode. I would have much preferred they stick to a normal Glee episode and base it around the stage production. But they didn't. This episode further proves the inability of the writing staff to differentiate between stage and film, though it wasn't as egregious as last year's Cabaret debacle. It felt too like Puck was written out of the show solely so there would be a lack of men available for this episode. I know Ryan Murphy wanted to do an homage to the movie, but it felt very disjointed. Frankly, when you have a character who is a dentist, Little Shop seems like a much more obvious choice. But of course, this year is the 35th Anniversary of Rocky Horror Picture Show and Fox owns the rights. It came off as little more than a marketing gimmick. There's even rumor that Ryan Murphy wants to remake it for televison. It felt a little like this episode was a dry run for that. Talk about unnecessary.

The funny thing is, there are ways this could have worked. Early in the episode Mr. Shue refers to these events as a nightmare. Well, why not have just made it a nightmare? A dream sequence. Lots of good shows do special parody dream episodes. Like that Boy Meets World which was a Scream parody. Make it like a special Halloween event. Northern Exposure did a Halloween dream episode. That would have justified the different opening that paralleled the film. Then they could have just staged the whole episode as a truncated version of the movie with the cast of Glee, and made it all somebody's dream. I feel like that would have been much more cohesive (man, maybe I should write for this show). In the end, it was not cohesive. Some of the dramatic events were ridiculous. Moments were stolen from the film for no other reason than to reference them. Some of the most obvious songs were chosen, even when better ones might have served. Wanna showcase Mercedes' voice as Frank? What about "Going Home", which is my favorite song in the show? This was a golden opportunity too to perform "Once in a While" which was cut from the movie. Finn would have sounded great on it. Oh well. Not a total bust of an episode. The stuff with the guys and their body image was well done. On the whole though, the episode was having too much fun with itself to be completely fun for its audience.

Best line of the night: Brittany discussing her Halloween costume -- "I'm going as a peanut allergy."

Songs in tonight's episode:

Late Night Double Feature Picture Show

Over at the Frankenstein Place

Dammit Janet

Sweet Transvestite

Whatever Happened to Saturday Night?

Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me

The Time Warp

Next Week: nothing. but...

In 2 Weeks: Puck's back from Juvey, and things are gonna shake up a little. It's hard to get a sense of plot from the promo, but Coach Beiste is back, so that should be fun.

GLEE: "Duets"

Again, excuse the lateness here. There's no real excuse; I've had two weeks. Oh well.

First things first, I have a problem with the recap of the show. It says that "Finn called Kurt a bad name" last season, and they refer to the incident that way throughout the episode. No he didn't. Sorry, but he said the decor was "faggy". He did NOT call Kurt a fag. It's related, and I'm not defending it but that is still very different from calling Kurt a name which he did not do.

Puck's in Juvenile Hall! I wonder how many episodes he'll be gone for. I also wonder what motivated his absence from the show this week. Was it simply so the numbers would work out favorably with Sam joining the group and the kids pairing off for duets?

Speaking of which, Sam has joined glee. And Kurt has a thing for him. Mr. Shue assigns the group to come up with duets, and the winning couple gets an evening at Breadsticks (you know Breadsticks; it's that restaurant with the great breadsticks). Kurt wants to sing with Sam. Then we get into yet another example of the writers not doing their homework. Sam says, "Aren't duets supposed to be between a guy and a girl?" and Kurt says, "Gene Kelley and Donald O'Connor would protest. ...'Make 'Em Laugh'? Singin' in the Rain?" WRONG. Kelley and O'Connor are a good example, but "Make 'Em Laugh" was NOT a duet!! Don't these writers ever know what they're talking about? "Moses" or "Fit as a Fiddle" were duets. This sort of thing just makes me sad. Especially when a character is acting as if they know exactly what they're talking about.

We are given a little more of the hinted bisexuality of Santana in this episode. With Puck gone, she's been making out with Brittany a little. Brittany seems to be into her, but for Santana is not about love. Now, can I just ask, watching these sorts of interactions coming off Kurt arguing against gay being a choice in the previous episode... how do we account for this? Clearly SANTANA is making choices regarding her sexual behavior. And is Brittany gay or not? She seems to have very bicurious tendencies as well. Sorry, but the "I was born this way" argument gets a whole lot weaker when you throw in the bi- community. This scene had a fun moment where Brittany suggests she and Santana do the duet together: Melissa Etheride. Santana replies that she's not making out with Brittany because she wants to "sing about having lady babies."

Santana really wants to go to Breadsticks, so she enlists the help of a partner she thinks could help her win: Mercedes. I love that Santana calls her Wheezy at one point.

Finn notices Kurt's crush on Sam and points out to him that being gay doesn't give him an excuse to fall all over someone. He points out that how Kurt was to Finn last year would never fly if it were Finn and a girl. Then Finn hits him hard with this point: "You don't understand that no means no." Wow. Kudos to the show for that one. It's so refreshing that they are really exploring Kurt and the implications of his character more. Again, gay is not an excuse to do whatever you want and then say "You're just a homophobe!" Respect for boundaries is a very good point here.

This theme continues when Kurt's dad gets involved. There's a bit of a fight when he tells Kurt that Finn has a point. Kurt counters that he wants a relationship like everyone else. Kurt's really kind of a jerk these days. I think Kurt's feelings too are not just gay-centric; they are universal. That is, there are a lot of outsiders who never get a relationship or who have a hard time finding someone to pair off with. I never had anybody in high school. So I get where he's coming from. This is good stuff!

Finn and Rachel rehearse "Don't Go Breaking My Heart". It's a solid, if obvious, duet choice. They realize they are awesome and will win the competition, but that causes them concern. Finn is worried that if Sam sings with Kurt it will kill Sam's reputation, he'll leave glee and then they won't have his voice for competition. Finn wants Sam to win as a confidence booster. Rachel meanwhile claims to be thinking of others and wanting someone else in the spotlight for once. Her reasoning is similar to Finn's; build Sam's confidence so they can win at Nationals. So they conspire to throw the competition.

Tina and Mike Chang are fighting because all he ever wants to do are very Asian things. When they eat out it's always at Dim Sum. She wants to win competition so she can go to Breadsticks and eat a normal salad that doesn't have pig's feet in it.

There's a nice bit of costume design in this episode. While Finn tries to convince Sam that it's bad for his rep to sing with Kurt, Sam is wearing a T-shirt with a bulls-eye on it. This reinforces the point that to the rest of the school Sam is something of a moving target. And then, he gets slushied!

Sam begins developing a thing for Quinn, who helps him wash the slushie out. We also learn that Sam is sort of a dork. He tries to chat up Quinn in Na'vi because she references Avatar briefly. Dude, that's just sad. Na'vi is just slightly above Klingon. If you're gonna pick a fake language to learn, it's ELVISH dude. Chicks dig the Elvish (okay, that is probably not true in general, but there's a large female population of Tolkien fans, and it's bound to work with one of them).

Santana and Mercedes do their duet: "River Deep, Mountain High". It's an ebullient performance with Santana giving Mercedes some moves. It's fun watching them shake their rumps like they just don't care. Santana's voice goes well with Mercedes' and it's a really good vocal.

Finn and Rachel worry about how they will be able to convincingly fail at their duet, until Rachel suggests that they take a lesson from Grease 2; pick a bad song. The difference between Grease and Grease 2 is that the songs were bad. I love this because it's so true. Aside from a couple that are funny as novelties ("Do It For Our Country") the music is terrible in Grease 2! And I say this as someone who owns the CD. So they decide to sing not just a bad song but an offensive song.

Sam doesn't end up singing with Kurt, and Kurt decides to embrace his queer side again (like that's working out for him so well) and do a duet with himself. Okay, I'm down with a solo duet, I think that's fun. I like to sing with myself. But I thought he'd sing along with a recording or something. Instead, he does a bit from Victor/Victoria in partial drag. He says its a duet between the male and female side. I don't buy it. Sorry, that's not a duet. Why not just do something from Hedwig and the Angry Inch? The performance wasn't bad, and I liked that he enlisted the Cheerios to make it a real performance with choreography and all, something we haven't seen much of this year. But it does feel like a reach to me.

Sam is kind of like Kurt in that he's new in the school and he's an outsider who's just trying to fit in. That symmetry interested me.

Mike Chang is reluctant to sing with Tina because he's a dancer, not a singer. So Tina comes up with a brilliant number to perform: "Sing" from A Chorus Line. If you're unfamiliar with the show, kill yourself. No sorry. If you're unfamiliar with it, the song is about a dancer who isn't really a singer, singing with her husband. It's funny. Now do yourself a favor and go listen to the soundtrack (NOT the movie soundtrack). Anyway, it was the perfect song choice for Mike and Tina, with some cute choreography. I also liked that it flipped the original gender roles of the song. This was my favorite performance of the night.

Brittany teams up with Artie in hopes of beating Santana. She tells him she'll be his fake girlfriend, basically. This culminates in Artie and Brittany in her room rehearsing. I love that Brittany has wallpaper. It may seem like a minor thing, but everybody just paints walls these days and there's something very homey and nice to me about wallpaper. Eventually, Brittany picks Artie out of his wheelchair, lays him on her bed and has sex with him. This later leaves him feeling used when Santana tells him how many guys she's been with. He's bummed because he feels like she just used sex as currency, something that was a big deal to him. I really appreciate that the sex roles were flipped here and its the girl who is promiscuous and the guy who wanted more. That sort of thing does happen, and it's good to think beyond stereotype. For her part, Brittany seems genuinely distressed that she hurt Artie. She said she wanted to go to breadsticks so they could be like Lady and the Tramp and share a plate of spaghetti. She's even been practicing rolling meatballs with her nose. On another note, I wonder if, because he's paralyzed and couldn't as easily leave her bed, one might suggest the act had overtones of rape. Just a little?

Finn and Rachel perform and it is hysterical. Finn's dressed like a priest, and Rachel's in this little proper black number, and they sing a saucy love song about how "with you, I'm born again." It was all very Thorn Birds. The group was just stunned, and Mr. Shue called them out for being totally inappropriate. The only bad thing about it to me was that it didn't quite follow the set-up. Shue points out that it's a good song but badly executed. What happened to picking an offensive song? It wasn't an offensive song, it was an offensive interpretation. So that was a tiny bummer. But really funny otherwise.

Quinn and Sam do their duet with Sam playing guitar, and having Quinn do the chords for him. There's something really sexy about Quinn fingering his frets. Their performance is groovy and fun and they win the competition. Personally, I liked it but I don't think they were the best. But because it was put to a vote, everyone except Finn and Rachel voted for themselves.

The voting has a tiny joke in that Kurt's paper lists his name as Kurt Elizabeth Hummel. Elizabeth? Is that a Producers reference?

Sam and Quinn do go out to Breadsticks and we learn that Sam is not gay as Kurt had suspected. It's a nice scene, but the capper is the camera panning past their booth to Brittany sitting alone with a plate of spaghetti rolling a meatball to no one. So sad! It's that sort of thing that keeps Brittany endearing and not just vapid.

In the end, Rachel decides to help Kurt out and sing a duet with him to make him feel better. They do a very interesting mash-up of "Happy Days Are Here Again" and Judy Garland's "Come On Get Happy." While it does take something away from the gospel feel of "Come On Get Happy" it was a nice and inventive blend and a solid ending to the show.

I thought that this episode would feel very slight, but it was actually a lot of what made the show fun in the first season. It wasn't the strongest episode ever, but it was enjoyable, and it was good to hear from some of the cast who don't always get to really sing.

Best line of the night:

Mr. Shue: What's a duet?

Brittany: A blanket.

I love this exchange. You can tell that Brittany is thinking, but it still feels non sequitur. For those who don't know, the word she is searching for is duvet.

Songs in Tonight's Episode:

Don't Go Breaking My Heart

River Deep Mountain High

Le Jazz Hot

Sing!

With You I'm Born Again

Lucky

Happy Days Are Here Again/Come On Get Happy

Next Week... er, tonight:

Glee does Rocky Horror. On the one hand, I'm getting very tired of theme shows that feel like desperate pleas for ratings. Glee doesn't need to stoop to stunts like that. On the other hand, it looks as though there will actually be a stage performance. It's good to see them actually do a stage show. I hope the writers don't continue to bare their ignorance and make it based on the stage show and not the movie. But I'm looking forward to it.