Macaroni Waffles

T-totalers

2012-01-26T17:27:00.002-05:00

I saw mentioned on the news this week a story about the MBTA doing away with advertisments for alcohol on their trains. Now, for those outside the area who don't know, the MBTA is the transit system in and around Boston, commonly known as "the T". If you watch a TV series set in Boston, you'll see the round T signs everywhere.

Anyway, the news broadcast had a poll question as to whether the public thought it was a good idea for the T to stop taking ad revenue from alcohol manufacturers. I should also mention that right now the MBTA is in a major debt crisis; they are, if I recall the number correctly, 160 million dollars in the hole. There is serious talk right now about cutting bus lines, late night trains, service to certain areas and drastically raising fares. These things make frequent commuters angry, especially as some of us think they've been throwing money away on useless stuff for the past five years. So the question really being posed is, can the T afford to be so choosy about where its ad money comes from?

The argument being made is that they don't want to advertise these things were children can see it, and thus be encouraged to drink. The vox pops interviews mentioned that again and again: "Think of the children!" And I am so tired of that. To that I say a hearty "Fie!"

Why is it that when it comes to drinking, the public thinks children are moronic sponges? The ads are not saying "Hey kids, let's drink!" This isn't about marketing something to children; it's no Joe Camel situation. This is a product marketed to adults. Underage kids who are going to drink are not going to do it just because they see a sign with a beer on it. I know that people are going to disagree and say, "Yes they will! Children are impressionable!" Well can I ask you then, how many print ads for sports cars have resulted in underage or unlicensed driving? ...Can't answer that, can you? Why? Because nobody is bothering to ask the question, since it is absurd on its face. And I think alcohol ads are not any different.

If we start denying ad space for fear of influencing children, how long is it before we stop advertising cola, or cookies, or video games? This sort of thinking sounds good and gets people all riled up, but it really means the death of print advertising. Frankly, I think print advertising is LESS dangerous than video ads where people are depicted drinking. Most print ads are just a picture of the product with some text. We're afraid that ads will make people want to drink? Well, that just means the ad is doing its job. It won't have any special effect on children. And remember, kids can't buy alcohol; so why make the issue about the train ads instead of about cutting off access to the product?

If a print campaign were really so influential, then all those anti-smoking ads should have resulted in a drastic decline in teen cigarette use. Did they? I don't know, I'm not a statistician. But I think ultimately a few advertisements aren't going to make kids go out and break the law any more than an ad for body wash is going to make a kid want to immediately take a shower.

The T needs all the money it can get. Can we please stop pretending that people magically become smarter only at 21? Because after listening to these arguments, the opposite seems true.

So... Random Question

2012-01-19T16:49:00.003-05:00

Is it wrong that some days I just hope that somebody punches Joel Osteen in the face? Not like permanent damage or anything, but I think a good sock in that smile of his might do him some good.

Am I the only one?

Abandoned Concepts

2012-01-17T17:22:00.003-05:00

This week's episode of How I Met Your Mother featured a very clever gag in which Barney proclaimed himself leader of gang, and re-imagined the opening credits to be all about him. It then happened a second time later in the episode. Normally, I'm a big fan of these kinds of self-referential gags on television every once in awhile. It rewards viewers who watch every week, especially when it involves opening credits. But when I thought about it a little more, I realized that the joke in this instance was funny for a moment, but betrayed the underlying conceit of the series. It bothers me when series abandon their conceits in this way, and that's what this post is about.

Before I go further, I do want to say there are times that I love gags like this. X-Files fans thrilled to any time the "The Truth is Out There" tagline was changed at the end of the opening. There was an arc on The Office a couple years ago where Michael started his own paper company. For one of those episodes, the opening credits were redone with images of this new office. I thought it was very clever. Or Community, which derives it's very existence from being "meta" and referential, changed the artwork in the "cootie catcher" paper folded thing in its opening for the Dungeons and Dragons episode. But what happened on How I Met Your Mother ultimately doesn't work in the same light. The conceit of the show is that Ted in the future is telling his children the long, convoluted story of how he met their mother. The series then should always be in Ted's point of view. The opening credits are done as a kind of photo collage of moments of him and his friends. They work, out of the kind of nostalgia of telling your kids "this is how we used to be, back when I met your mother." But the series has recently been drifting a little too far off that road with some outside stories that really have nothing to do with this main thread, and episodes being told by other characters' voice-overs. That means we have to think Ted is telling the kids what his friends are telling other people; a flashback in a flashback. This used to be handled better in the earlier seasons, but now for the sake of the show's longevity it is stretching beyond its concept. Which is why I ultimately don't like the Barney joke this week. For it to work, it means that Barney is aware of this as a TV show, or aware of there being opening credits like this. While it's funny for a moment to call the show "How I Met Your Barney" and all that, it flies in the face of the show's concept. Had this been Ted proclaiming leadership and changing the credits, that would have worked because the series is Ted's point-of-view. It sadly spoiled the joke for me on reflection, in a way that other similar gags had not.

Other current sitcoms are running into similar issues related to their concepts. Parks and Recreation is brilliant, but since the third season has lost some of its early drive. The impetus behind the pilot, the entire first season, and much of the second, was that Leslie promised Anne that she would build a park on the vacant lot by Anne's house that was a pit. Somewhere in season 2 they filled in the pit, so that was good. And for awhile the series had an excuse; they wrote in that the parks department was bankrupt, so season three was more about acts of good faith to get their funding back. But it's at a point now where it seems they've forgotten why they started. Is Anne ever going to get that park? Leslie made a promise, and every new week that goes by without any progress on that front makes me wonder why Anne is still friends with Leslie. At some point, shouldn't Anne say, "Hey, whatever happened to that park you promised me?" I wish they would at least address the issue in an episode here or there.

Fringe is another series that changed gears in its second season. This was mostly for the better. The first season was all about unrelated strange events being part of "the pattern", and tying into some complicated business about multiverses. This was streamlined down and the show got better, but for so much of the past couple seasons this has seemed like everything in season one that was supposed to be somehow related was completely ignored. From what I've seen, season 4 may finally tie these ends up a little more. But I haven't liked the way some of it was handled.

And the list goes on. The Office was set up to be shot in documentary-style, which spawned a number of imitators. The British version uses this conceit to its advantage, since UK televison series are generally shorter. But the longer the US version goes on, the more the logic behind this actually being a documentary is thrown away. It's easy to tell a joke using a talking head, but that cannot be all the form is for. Modern Family uses this structure, but it's never really pretended to be documentary; it's more a way to talk to the audience, the way that Malcolm (Malcolm in the Middle) or Clarissa (Clarissa Explains It All) used to do. But The Office was and is a documentary. They used to make reference to the cameras every now and then. Parks and Rec has done a little better job maintaining that same veneer, but it gets harder and harder to buy the logic of The Office. I'm constantly stopping and thinking, "Where is this being shot from?" every time characters drive places. The episode where they attended Andy's play was otherwise fine, but I was supposed to believe a camera crew was there in the aisles and backstage shooting all of this? Also, how long is this crew going to keep shooting these people? The logic reached its breaking point several years ago when they did a clip show. I forget what the set-up was, but Toby was in an interview with somebody and as they discussed certain things it would cut to old episode footage. Sorry, that's stretching the concept beyond its means.

What I'm getting at here as that no matter how good a series is, it cannot betray its own rules. Even if its funny, an audience has to expect certain parameters. I could go on about various other ways many different series throughout the years have broken their rules in some way, but I don't want to belabor the point. Suffice to say that as much as television pilot season thrives on these high concept ideas, the writers need to remember that these concepts must sustain a long-running series. M*A*S*H shouldn't have run as long as it did, nor should That '70s Show (especially since the latter begin around 1977). No series should get to the place where an audience asks, "But how does this relate to meeting their mother?" or "Shouldn't these characters have graduated by now?" To abandon these conceits may bring momentary joy, but ultimately betrays the origins of the work. No one part is worth sacrificing the whole. A television series is a house of cards; it can build as wide or tall as you like, but attention must be paid that it doesn't topple unnecessarily.

2012

2011-12-31T23:13:00.003-05:00

...and I had to ring in 2012 with a song too. Considering the popular myth about the Mayan prediction of doom, this song seems appropriate. I miss matchbox twenty.

2011 in summation

2011-12-31T22:49:00.003-05:00

Though it was released in late 2010, weezer's recent album Hurley seems to epitomize 2011 for me. It's my favorite album of the past couple years, and the band's best certainly since the red album and probably since Pinkerton.

Certainly the chorus of "Unspoken" essentially says what I want to say about all that went down this year:

And if you take this away from me

I'll never forgive you, can't you see

Our life will be broken

Our hate will be unspoken

But ultimately, it's "Trainwrecks" that for me is the year in review. So let's close out the year with a rocking good song.

We don't update our blogs...

Christmas

2011-12-25T07:59:00.001-05:00

Refugee

2011-12-23T18:00:00.001-05:00

Thoughts on Termination

2011-12-08T16:47:00.004-05:00

I've heard and read a lot recently regarding abortion. For some reason, it's a topic that's people seem to be talking more about again. Public figures make statements that get people angry. People make policies and decisions that others dislike. And I was just thinking about some of those things right now.

Have you noticed the strange use of terminology? First, the use of the word "abort". I can understand how it applies, but it does make it difficult for people to use it on other correct contexts. "Abort the mission!" you might still hear someone say, but no one would ever refer to this act in it's noun form: as an "abortion". To me, the word abortion is clinical, technical, and somewhat innocuous. But now that it's got so much baggage, I find more often people use the word "terminate". As in, "They were deciding whether to terminate the pregnancy." Again, there's accuracy to it, but I find that word to have more negative connotation. When I hear "terminate", I think of people harshly fired from their jobs. I think of Moff Tarkin ordering Princess Leia's execution. I think of a buff cyborg from the future sent to murder women. I think of napalm raining from the sky. To me, "termination" is a much more violent word, and while perhaps apropos, I think it a surprising word from those who would support the choice and argue against calling the fetus a life or a person. Just an observation.

The Obama administration has recently decided against the FDA recommendation that emergency contraception (also known as Plan B and "the morning-after pill") be available over the counter without an age requirement. Currently, girls under 17 must have parental consent to obtain it. This to me defeats the purpose. It really should be available to anyone, and I'm surprised that a supposedly liberal government wouldn't make it so. This may surprise some people, but I am fully in favor of emergency contraception. I'm against abortion, but I do not see this as the same thing. It doesn't violently rip apart living human tissue; it prevents uterine implantation. A blastocyst that's only undergone minor cell division is not the same thing as a mass of differentiated human cells with nerves and a heartbeat. The extreme pro-lifers argue that life begins at conception and therefore a girl could have a zygote in her uterus that the pill would prevent from implanting, thereby killing it; that makes it an abortion. They even go so far as to call it an "abortion pill" at times. We should be clear there are abortion pills out there (like RU-486) which are designed to terminate existing pregnancies. That's not what this is for. It's so nothing CAN grow inside. People need to think about just how many naturally occurring conceptions happen that naturally never implant, passing out of the vagina without anyone knowing or giving it a second thought. The earlier the pill is taken, the more effective it is and the less likely it will flush out something that has already begun to implant. For this reason, I would think anti-abortion activists would WANT it available to girls as soon as possible without restrictions.

My other prime argument in favor of emergency contraception is that it effectively eliminates the one argument for abortion that no one likes: "what about rape or incest?" Whenever abortion rights are discussed, those against it will argue it's always wrong, often that the decision should have been made not to have sex or at least use some sort of prophylactic, but then the opposition always asks, almost smugly, "but what about rape or incest? They never HAD a choice!" Well, give such people access to Plan B, and this question never has to come up again. You were raped? Then you can go right down to the pharmacy and make sure you don't get pregnant. And after that, go to the police.

While we are on this subject however, what of that argument? What of the case that abortion is okay in matters of rape? Well, I was just thinking today that rape is a pretty good case to keep the pregnancy. I know the mother won't like the idea of this foreign body growing in her that was violently put there against her will. But in this situation, that baby is not just a complication, it is evidence. Let me say that again, as callous as that sounds, if she has the baby, it becomes EVIDENCE of the rape. I know she might not want to be reminded of that, but what if they didn't catch the rapist? What if there was no evidence found? What if there was no semen left behind or she tried to wash it away? That child holds the DNA of that perpetrator. Even if you give it over for adoption, isn't it better that it live as proof of the rape and a means of tracking or convicting the rapist? The same goes for incest. Some pervert father might just call his daughter a whore and say she's been knocked up by some other guy. But give the baby a paternity test and prove that he did it.

From a Christian point of view, a lot of the arguments come down to what gets classified as "murder" and things like that. Because there's nothing in the New Testament about abortion. It doesn't tell us one way or the other, and we have had to infer. However, did you know that there are a number of books and Christian writings from the first few centuries that DO condemn abortion specifically? They were widely circulated among the early church, and some were considered for inclusion in the ultimate New Testament canon. However for one reason or another, they were not. These are not texts that are primarily about abortion, but it is mentioned. So it seems that the early Christians were definitely against it, and just think, if one of these books had been included, Christians today would have the issue clearer for them. But for whatever reason that didn't happen. Ultimately, I think the decision was correct to leave these texts out, but it is sort of a shame that this issue seems less clear to us now than it did two millennia ago.

Anyway, this is just some stuff I was thinking about and thought I'd throw in my opinion. I'm no crazy activist pro-lifer. I don't support killing abortion doctors or boycotting certain hospitals. I don't walk around saying things like "anyone born after 1973 is an abortion survivor!" or "it's a good thing Steve Jobs' parents didn't decide to abort him." That's sensationalism and drives me crazy. But at the same time, there has got to be some common sense in these areas. Thinking solely based on extreme ideology, on both sides, is only terminating good sense with extreme prejudice.

Best Scene in the Movie

2011-12-06T19:52:00.003-05:00

Just in time for Christmas, I present to you a segment from the classic Bing Crosby film, The Bells of St. Mary's. This is easily the best part of the movie, and one of the best Christmas scenes in any movie -- and one that doesn't get played on TV all the time.

Unfortunately, they won't let me embed it, but you can see the scene here. So if you have 8 minutes to spare, give it a watch!

new favorite song

2011-11-30T16:49:00.003-05:00

Why use this version someone put together with My Little Pony? Why not. (by they way... what the heck hast this generation done to My Little Pony?)

GLEE: "I Am Unicorn"

2011-11-14T16:55:00.002-05:00

The title of this episode comes from a Brittany metaphor. She says that a unicorn is a pony who does a good deed and is rewarded with a horn. Then it poops out cotton candy until the horn falls off and it forgets it's magical. I don't know where she gets this stuff; it is certainly not in any unicorn lore I'm familiar with. It's not even My Little Pony stuff. She says she wants to help Kurt because he's the school's biggest unicorn, someone who "knows they're magical and isn't afraid to show it." I'm at a point where now I'm really concerned about Brittany and the show is not doing itself any favors by making her this naive and dumb. Either her parents should be brought up on child abuse charges, or the school should be reprimanded for failing at educating her. I did like though that we got to see a bit of her in class. This show has a history of forgetting that these kids actually have classes to go to.

We learn that Vocal Adrenaline did NOT win Nationals last year, but came in second. Their coach was fired, so Vocal Adrenaline may be vulnerable. For this reason, Mr. Schue says he needs to focus all their attention on glee club, and this means he cannot direct the musical. For this reason, the directing duties go to Emma and Coach Bieste, along with Artie as student director. In the meantime, Mr. Schue is instituting a "booty camp" for the kids to improve their dancing, and Mike Chang is helping him. It's about time! Their dancing has always been a weak, and if they really want to win these are the sort of things they need to do. If he got the Acafellas working, surely this will help. Mercedes however resents having to go to booty camp.

Annoying Miss Sugar got her rich daddy to give money to the school if they would hire Shelby Cochran (Rachel's mom) to coach a second glee club highlighting Sugar. This is bad for the school, but it's a way for the show to get back to the storylines of the first season. Season two went by with almost no word at all about Quinn's baby.

Quinn makes a deal with Sue to star in a propaganda video about how the arts ruined her life. Sue has convinced her that she was fine until she joined glee club. She goes to Mr. Schuster to tell him on camera that glee club ruined her life, but Schue gives her an earful. I like that he tells her off, and that they mention the time that she was living with Mercedes, which was ignored all last year. I guess her parents took her back. The biggest problem with the video scenes is that it makes Becky a joke again, carrying a boom mike in the shot. Meanwhile, she is missing her baby and doesn't like that Shelby is back. Shelby tells her that if she wants to be a part of Beth's life, then the new grungy Quinn has to go. Uh oh, just when I was starting to like new Quinn.

Brittany's plan for Kurt's campaign is lots of pink and glitter and rainbows that just screams gay. Kurt's idea is for something more understated, but frankly his poster is just as gay. It's gay in a different way, but still. Though for once it's nice for Kurt to not want to walk around with a sign saying that's he's "gay gay gay". After last year, I appreciate him wanting to be seen as more than that.

Auditions are fast approaching for West Side Story. Both Kurt and Blaine want to audition for Tony, which has Kurt very nervous. Rachel of course wants Maria. She was planning on auditioning with "I Feel Pretty", which shows just how dumb Rachel is. It's a fluffy song and doesn't showcase her range well, or what Maria is about. Furthermore, Sondheim is on record saying he dislikes his lyrics to it. Shelby suggests doing "Somewhere" instead. So Rachel tries it, and while it's a better song I think it is still not a great audition. The problem with "Somewhere" is that it's as much identifiable with Barbra Streisand as with West Side. And so Rachel falls back on her old standby of Barbra imitation. She sings it with her mother and it's far too bombastic and loses all the sense of the lyric. The song is about hope for love in a violent world and I don't get any of that from this performance. All I get is notes.

Puck visits Shelby at home and very much wants to be involved in his daughter's life. He even drew her a picture of a clown that looks more like a pig (actually it looks like a leprechaun in a bow tie). And again the state of the American education system is hinted at: on the top of the picture Puck wrote "Too Beth". The lack of spelling ability in high school students really saddens me. This is not an exaggeration; read my previous posts on the subject to prove it.

And now we come to Kurt's audition which is a strange blend of good and bad ideas. He performs on scaffolding, which allows him to be somewhat athletic, climbing and swinging. This is good if he wants to be Tony. And yet once again he chooses the wrong song. He may think lyrically it's right, but it's still a girl's song and he needs to prove himself masculine for once. The scaffolding did help, though at times it felt less gymnast and more pole dancer. Also, just to be picky, these bits make it clear that he's singing to a prerecorded track because it would be a lot harder to belt out those notes will upside down and all. I'd have preferred a vocal that was more authentic to this situation, and less clean. But he caps it off with some fantastic knife twirling, which I think was Chris Colfer's idea. That moment was really spectacular, and if he had chosen a different song then it really would have helped him. Or if he wanted to stick to his usual self, he should have sung "Maria" which would at least have suited his range, and been a song from the show.

This might be a good time to mention that for some time now I've thought it would be good for Kurt to sing They Might Be Giants' "How Can I Sing Like a Girl" on this show, because it fits him perfectly.

Kurt overhears the directors talking about him, and while Emma is in favor of him for Tony, Coach Bieste doesn't think he's "street" enough. So with this in his mind, Kurt flips out when he walks down the hall and sees Brittany has hung all of her glittery unicorn campaign posters. The last thing he wants now is to be seen as feminine. To counter this unfortunately, Kurt does the gayest thing he could possible do. He performs a scene from Romeo and Juliet with Rachel... in full Elizabethan dress. I mean, he does put on a nice gruff voice, but that doesn't stop it from eliciting giggles from the directors. Oh Kurt, why are so naive?

Quinn comes back to glee club all prettified again, with the pink washed out of her hair. We learn that she's doing it just for show in order to get custody of Beth back from Shelby. But even so, I miss troubled Quinn. Couldn't she have at least kept the nose ring? Even just a stud? I like nose studs. Oh well, there goes my favorite part of the season so far.

Ultimately, Kirk embraces Brittany's design elements for his posters, but by then Santana has convinced Brittany to run for president herself. And Kurt's got competition for Tony as well. Blaine auditions for the musical with the perfect Tony song, "Something's Coming" which he nails, of course. Blaine really is a perfect Tony. However, I will save my further opinions on casting choices for the next episode, when things get heated. Mercedes was wearing a shirt that said "Diva" in this episode, and that's going to prove true.

Not a bad episode, but a lot going on. There was barely any music in this episode!

Songs in tonight's episode:

Somewhere -- from West Side Story

I'm the Greatest Star -- from Funny Girl

Something's Coming -- from West Side Story

favorite line

Burt Hummel on Kurt: "Dude, you're gay. And not like Rock Hudson gay, really gay. You sing like Diana Ross and you dress like you own a magic chocolate factory."

Next Episode: Brittany's presidential campaign, Mike Chang in trouble with his parents, and the war of the Marias as both Rachel and Mercedes fight for the lead in the musical

GLEE: "The Purple Piano Project"

2011-11-14T10:19:00.003-05:00

Time to finally catch up with these reviews. So... here's what I've missed on Glee!

Just like last year's premiere, Jacob Ben Israel's show opens the episode. It's a fun way to catch everyone up on what happened over the summer. It's also a way to address internet confusions. In this episode, it is clarified which kids are juniors and which are seniors. Mention is also made of Mercedes having dated Sam. Unfortunately, at the start of the season Sam is off the show. So his relationship with Mercedes is over. The in-show explanation is that his dad got a job out of state. Isn't that how he ended up on the show in the first place? I hope they aren't still homeless. Mercedes is now dating a big black football player. This was the direction they started going in last year, until the writers were more concerned with Kurt and almost entirely excluded Mercedes from story lines. In many ways watching season three begin feels like wiping away a lot of what was wrong with season 2, and bringing focus back to some of the elements of the first year.

Mr. Schuster is now seeing Emma. The season opens with them in bed together. Has she gotten over her frigid thing? I like the cute little element of them packing each other's lunches in cartoon lunchboxes.

Mr. Schue plans to push the club harder this year because he let them down last year. Yes, he did, but it's NOT because he wanted to be in April Rhodes' musical. He still could have done that over the summer, and I don't understand why he didn't. But just like last year, his big plan is to recruit new members with some stupid idea. This year, it's the Purple Piano Project. He's placing donated purple pianos around the school and whenever glee members see one, they have to sing a song. It's really a terrible idea, but even the episode doesn't take it seriously. Despite the fact that it's the name of the episode, it's once again and assignment on this show that gets dropped halfway through the episode.

Kurt and Rachel are planning to go to Juliard, probably because they've seen Fame a few too many times. But Emma informs them that Juliard has no musical theater department. She suggests Kent State, saying it has a musical theater department and a "macabre backstory" which can put things in perspective if they don't get the lead. I found that pretty funny. I know it's sick, but I always laugh at Kent State jokes. So now the plan is for them to go to NYADA: New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts.

I'm glad they've continued the story about Sue running for congress. Unfortunately, she thinks the best way to get ahead is to trash the arts. It feels artificial to me, just as a way to get Sue back on the mean side. Oh, and her purple track suit seems too obviously tied in to the theme of the show.

Strike one for the Purple Piano Project: Mike and Tina come on a piano, but don't sing. They play "Chopsticks".

By far my favorite element of the new season in this episode is burnout Quinn. She's become so jaded and cynical she feels the need to totally reinvent herself. She now has pink hair, a nose ring, and hangs out with other burnout girls called the Skanks. This tranformation makes perfect sense to me. After losing yet again and no longer having her cool or her power, swinging the other way seems understandable. And the embarrassment she suffered during the prom queen campaign surely didn't help. Here's a girl who tried so hard to reinvent herself; Quinn the cheerleader was an affectation to a point. So a new affectation is exactly what she would do, and why not embrace a philosophy of total indifference? People like that are often more accepting of other "different" people. The Skanks hang out and smoke under the bleachers. This reminded me a lot of Freaks and Geeks, and was a part of the high school experience this show was missing. I'm surprised the network let them show lead characters smoking on television. It's a shame that some of the Skanks look a little too pretty to really be these kinds of people. Like, Mack seems too made-up to me.

Rachel says she should have spoken up last year when Quinn cut off all her hair and thought it would solve all her problems. Thank you, Rachel! Didn't I say this last year?

Mr. Schuster says that he's thinking of starting a family with Emma. That's not fair to Terri! Remember when she had that hysterical pregnancy?? I hate the way the show treated Terri. She deserved better. I dislike television that breaks up marriages.

Sue decides to make Santana and Becky co-captains of the Cheerios. Both of them hate this idea. I like that this is getting back to treating Becky like a regular person, and not exploiting her for comedy.

For some reason, the glee kids have rehearsed a number to sing for recruitment in the event of a purple piano being around. This seems to defeat the purpose of the piano in the first place, doesn't it? I mean, this is really just what they did with "Empire State of Mind" last year. So that's strike two for the Purple Piano Project. The band is there and everything!!

The choice of song is The Go-Go's "We Got the Beat", which is a great choice of song. I hope they keep doing older songs. There was way too much contemporary garbage last year. However, this whole scene is utterly ridiculous. They are dancing around in the cafeteria on tables and everything and people barely react! They get through the entire song before a food fight breaks out. And take it from me, you can't just burst into song in a school cafeteria without faculty yelling at you or something. Again, the song was a good choice and sounded pretty good, but why the band? I want something like this to actually feel spontaneous for once! Wouldn't it have been interesting to NOT have it be an overproduced album track, but just be the kids getting up and singing, getting others into it? That's what the piano thing would have been good for. Instead, it was just an excuse to do an entire routine in the cafeteria and was hard once again for me to suspend my disbelief.

And in comes a new character who I hate. Her name is Sugar Motta, the daughter of the guy who donated the pianos. She auditions for glee club thinking that she's better than everyone. She also claims to have self-diagnosed Asperger's, giving her free reign to say anything insulting she wants. Anyway, she's a TERRIBLE singer, and just a bad human being. Mr. Schue is stuck wondering whether it's worth letting her into the group. She doesn't realize how bad she is; she's delusional. And I frankly hate the Asperger's thing being thrown around. It's insulting to Aspies, I think.

Strike three for the Purple Piano Project: it was supposed to be that you sang when you came upon one randomly. Kurt purposely puts one in the auditorium so he and Rachel can sing together. And the whole band is there waiting for them. Is anyone going to actually do the assignment?? The point was to get other kids interested in singing, not to just sing by yourself for fun. Anyway, Rachel and Kurt do a truly ABYSMAL big band version of "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" for no good reason. They think THIS nonsense is going get them into NYATA? It ruins the song, making it sound even sillier than it does normally. Can they please leave Oz alone now?

Mr. Schuster somehow thinks that sinking to Sue's level is a good idea, so he crashes her Cheerios tryouts and covers her in glitter while Emma films it all. He puts it on YouTube, but it only helps Sue's cause. Duh, you moron. It makes you look like the bad guy.

Blaine has decided to go to McKinley and join New Directions. Well of course he did. Come on, you think that wasn't gonna happen? But can I just ask why he's always wearing bow ties? He's wearing one with a polo shirt today. That's not gay, that's just ridiculous.

Blaine also does his own little song in the courtyard. There's a purple piano there, but I'm not sure it's the reason for the song. Again, the whole band is there. And for some crazy reason, the cheerleaders are dancing with him. Ultimately it seems it was a trick, because then they coat the piano in lighter fluid. But until then I could not understand why the cheerleaders were performing with him. I mean, I do miss some of the first season choreography that had cheerleaders in it, but there needs to be a reason for it. Quinn flicks her cigarette and it ignites the piano. Luckily there was no one sitting at the piano at the time.

Kurt and Rachel go to a meet-and-greet of other potential NYATA kids. And these kids are insane. Like Kurt and Rachel turned up to eleven. And of course they are totally better than Kurt and Rachel. They do a performance of "Anything Goes" mashed up with "Anything You Can Do". Certainly that lyric is appropriate for the scene, and it's nice to finally see some tap on this show. Now, I'm not certain the two songs really go together besides the word "anything", but it was surely better than their ridiculous Oz thing.

I love when Rachel suggests its time to resign themselves to a miserable life of community theater and rattles off three shows, Nunsense, Love Letters and The Vagina Monologues. It's funny because that's so true.

Mr. Schuster kicks Santana out of glee club because of the piano fire that the cheerleaders were responsible for. Harsh, but understandable. I guess that they want to make the cheerleaders bad guys again.

Kurt and Rachel decide they need more extracurriculars, so Kurt is running for class president. Meanwhile Rachel suggests they do West Side Story for the school musical. It does seem like this school never gets a musical done, which is odd. Though school musicals are usually in the spring, unless the school does two. Also, they've had a very bad track record on this show of confusing the movie with the stage show, so I go into this West Side Story thing with much trepidation.

The purple piano ultimately didn't work. They tried to make the pianos a metaphor for the kids at the end, but it all feels weird and forced. The episode ends with with a big performance of "You Can't Stop the Beat", which at least continues the "beat" theme from the Go-Gos number. And everyone is in purple. Why? Because this episode has a purple theme for no apparent reason. It was good to see the show trying to fix the problems of last year, but this episode was something of a lackluster premiere. Ultimately, last year's premiere was stronger. They have yet to fix the underlying problem with the series when they try to do to many things at once and the supposed "theme assignment" of the week takes a back seat. Still, I'm liking grungy Quinn, and I hope this season is good.

Song's in tonight's episode:

We Got the Beat -- the Go-Gos

Big Spender -- from Sweet Charity

Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead -- from The Wizard of Oz

It's Not Unusual -- Tom Jones

Anything Goes/Anything You Can Do -- from Anything Goes and Annie Get Your Gun

You Can't Stop the Beat -- from Hairspray

Favorite line:

Brittany: "I have pepperoni in my bra."

Santana: "Those are your nipples."

Next episode: Brittany is Kurt's campaign manager. That should be interesting.

Another catchy song

2011-11-10T23:17:00.003-05:00

First of all, yes I know that five episodes of Glee have aired and I haven't written anything about them. I have a LOT to say, but will do so when I have time. Just posting about one episode can take two hours. And when they get written, they will be done as if I haven't seen the episodes that follow. I will try to make them reflect my thoughts on first viewing.

But another thread on this blog that I have neglected is my list of silly, catchy, annoying songs that run through my head sometimes that I love. This was intended to be a fairly regular series, and I got lazy. These will all be songs that I love and don't mind humming in my head over and over, even if others find them frustratingly annoying. Previous songs mentioned were the pickle song from Dr. Seuss' Pontoffel Pock, Where Are You?, the theme from The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, and Sesame Street's Captain Vegetable.

Tonight for some reason I was reminded of an episode of Chip 'n' Dale's Rescue Rangers. This animated series was made by Disney when I was in grade school and was a staple of the "Disney Afternoon". Few realize however that it premiered on the Disney Channel. It used to air on Sunday mornings so I couldn't watch it, but when I had chicken pox I got to stay home from church and watch it. That first episode I saw was when Dale fakes having a broken toe. Funnily enough, for my birthday a couple years later I got that episode on VHS tape.

But the episode I'm thinking of right now is "The Case of the Cola Cult". It was a favorite episode of mine, but rather a strange one. The Rescue Rangers stumble upon a cult of mice who worship soda. They shower in it. And they flush away their worldly possessions in a bucket of soda while the company's television commercial plays. It turns out that they are being conned, and when their possessions are "fizzed" they are really being stolen by people in charge. Pretty heavy stuff for a kids' cartoon. But that commercial's jingle is so darn catchy. So here is my song choice for the night. You tell me it doesn't make you want Coo-Coo Cola.

Hope that gets stuck in your head all day. Come along! You belong! Feel the fizz!

Bully!

2011-10-03T10:14:00.002-04:00

I was surprised by last night's episode of The Simpsons, as it extolled the wonders of Teddy Roosevelt. Bart came to see Teddy as a role model and told his friends about how cool he was. There was even a debate with Lisa over which Roosevelt was a better president. I loved it because Teddy Roosevelt is my favorite president (you heard me, Lincoln!).

I thought the show was a great way to remind America what a cool guy he was. And remember, he was never elected President; he got the job because McKinley was shot. And yet he did so much good for the country and for conservation. And did you know that he had a slightly high-pitched creaky voice? He was the first President to have his voice recorded on phonograph, and it's strange hearing him knowing his image. In our media-heavy culture where every little flaw in a politician is ruthlessly ripped apart, I respect a guy who can speak before people with a voice like that. And rock the spectacles-and-mustache look like nobody can! And really, I respect anybody with the balls to name his kid Kermit. And remember, this was a guy who got SHOT in the middle of a speech, and kept going!

Now, he did rally to get America into the first World War, which I don't agree with. But perhaps his leadership would have been better than Wilson's was. Strike that; it DEFINITELY would have been better than Wilson's was. Ultimately, any involvement in that European mess I think would always have been a mistake, but Roosevelt would not have tried any of that League of Nations nonsense. Because that concept has worked really well in the years since then, right?

Best argument for Teddy in last night's episode though?

Lisa (arguing for FDR): Face on a dime!

Bart (arguing for TR): Face on a mountain!

Couldn't have said it better. He's the Rushmore face that gets the least respect, but I'd argue in terms of Presidency deserves that spot certainly better than Jefferson. His legacy lives on in National Parks, the Panama Canal and of course, the teddy bear. Just think, without him, no Build-A-Bear Workshop.

Thank you Teddy Roosevelt. And thank you The Simpsons. Bully for you!

update about Glee

2011-09-22T23:30:00.005-04:00

The new season of Glee has started up again, and just like last year I will be doing weekly reviews and critiques of the show. However, because I am not currently home on Tuesday nights, it will take a little longer.

Until then, enjoy this spot-on educational parody. If Sesame Street would whittle away the overuse of Elmo and Abby and do more of this stuff, it would be better off. It also includes the gayest muppet they will probably ever include (a fabulous critique of Kurt). Oh, by the way Sesame Street, why is it three different g-g-guys have played Gordon? Is it a rule that every black man has to be named G-G-Gordon, or did you think the kids wouldn't notice that you g-g-got a new actor? Just something I was thinking about today for some reason.

They're At It Again!!

2011-09-14T23:09:00.002-04:00

Remember several months ago when the Burlington Mall was shut down because someone reported a rifle that turned out to be an umbrella? And there was all that controversy because the umbrella looked like a sword and blah blah blah? (If not, you can read what I had to say about it here)

Well, they're at it again! Who is they? The reactionary public of course, who think they are doing the right thing. I just saw on the news tonight that a building in Boston was evacuated today because somebody reported a man with a gun. When the police finally apprehended this "suspect" they found the object sticking out of his bag. This time it was a bicycle pump. That's right, a bicycle pump. Once again, people called the police thinking they saw a rifle. Can I just ask what rogue rifleman walks around with a rifle in his backpack? That's not very effective to use in a public place. You've got to sling the bag down, open it up, pull out the gun... Or if he were being secretive about it, he wouldn't have the barrel sticking out of his bag in full view! Of any time there's ever been gun violence in a public area perpetrated by rifle, when has that firearm been in a backpack? He'd at least use a big duffel bag right? Or a package of curtain rods.

And just how frequent is rifle attack these days? Besides Lee Harvey Oswald and a guy in a clock tower, when have you heard anyone was shot at by rifle in a public place? That's for home defense. Anyone these days going out to shoot people up is carrying a hand gun. I know there's been discussion of the constitutionality of carrying assault rifles, but do people actually do that? And even if the carry them, are they used? Not in Massachusetts. At least, I haven't heard of such an occurrence.

So for the second time, an innocent American is held responsible for holding up the city because somebody thought they saw something. When was it made a crime to carry a bike pump? Oh, what's that? It's not? Then maybe we should get our facts straight before we report something.

If I sound like I'm being hard on the citizen activists here, let me say I don't hold them (or he or she or it) fully responsible. No, the real blame lies on the Massachusetts police. You see, after that little non-incident in the Burlington Mall, they told the public that what they did was correct. They didn't feel they as the police did anything improper (though when you really look at what was done, it was obviously excessive). And then they continued to say that those who reported it did the right thing and that it's always right to report something suspicious. Well, maybe you can argue that, but at what point to we define "suspicious" as "any cylindrical object seen from a distance". So I lay the real blame on them, for encouraging this kind of fear-based behavior in the public.

At what point do these trigger-happy whistleblowers get to call out the police? This sort of reaction is just as destructive as a man with a rifle would be. And certainly more so than a guy with a bicycle pump.

I just knew it! I heart this so much!

2011-08-26T21:57:00.004-04:00

I just read on IMDb that the New Beverly Cinema in Los Angeles has decided that Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is worthy of midnight movie status, and will begin screening it monthly in this fashion beginning next month.

This makes me so happy because I just knew this was the kind of movie it was from the day I first saw it. I predicted time and again that it would remain forever as a cult movie. In fact, I even said so in my Ten Best Films of 2010 post where I named Scott Pilgrim my favorite movie of the year and said the following:

I hope it becomes a cult favorite worthy of midnight screenings. This movie deserves it. I heart Scott Pilgrim so much.

So ladies and gentlemen, I called it!

Say It Like You Mean It

2011-08-24T11:25:00.004-04:00

This post may end up being the first in a series of church habits that particularly annoy me, or it may stand on its own. But suffice it to say there are a number of things about modern church practices that drive me crazy. This is going to be more of an evangelical thing, but may have application elsewhere.

There are all kinds of patterns people fall into whenever they do anything. And when you get them in a group, certain phrases and sayings just become rote and turn into an unwritten code. But it's developed so far now that if you walk into almost any evangelical church and says "God is good", half of the people will respond "all the time". This post is not about that, but boy does that annoy me. There are songs based around the phrase, and yet I have no idea who originated that. It's just annoying, like every time someone says "God is good" it has to be said. Like a game of Marco Polo. And to my immediate recollection, there is no scripture that uses that full statement. I can however point you to a scripture that says God is angry all the time. So chew on that.

But more innocuous than even that is the way church people have come to use "Amen". And I am so tired of it. They say it at the end of their prayers, many with no idea why they do it. Like they are just supposed to. As if it's like saying "the end" at the conclusion of your story; a signal that you've finished.

What amen means is "so be it" or "let it be" or I like to think of it in Captain Picard terms: "make it so". But let me tell you what "amen" does NOT mean.

It does NOT mean "I agree with that!"

It does NOT mean "You all heard me, right?"

It does NOT mean "I'm checking to make sure you are awake"

It is NOT a question. Ever.

It's a word that gets overused and I'm tired of it. Now, in some of these contexts it technically makes sense. For example if someone says "Let's keep the parking lot clean, amen?" and everyone responds, "Amen!" I guess that second one works, but why use it in such a way? But it's not a question, and it's not a way to lead people to respond. I think sometimes people use it just because it's a "churchy" word. Like if it were a similar situation outside the church someone might say, "You bet," but that implies gambling and that's not holy. So Christians fall back on "amen" because it makes them feel Christian. And I find it tremendously aggravating.

I just happen to think that words mean what they mean. If you don't really understand what a word means, don't go around saying it. And maybe it would be nice if I didn't have to sit through a church service where "amen" is used 5 different ways, 30 different times.

So please, if you're in the habit of using it to say "I agree! That's right!" then STOP it.

If you're in the habit of saying it after every sentence from the pulpit, STOP it.

If you think you're being holier by ending prayer with not just one amen but with "amen... and amen... and amen," STOP IT.

but if you mean it like it means, there are lots of areas in the church world and Christian life where we want God to "make it so". And you can say so.

Let's keep the word reserved for it's proper meaning; there's more power in it that way.

Amen.

BREAKING BAD: "Box Cutter"

2011-07-19T17:09:00.003-04:00

The fourth season of Breaking Bad finally premiered this week. I've been an avid viewer since the pilot of the show, and a fan of Vince Gilligan's writing since his time on The X-Files. Because I no longer have cable, I was terribly annoyed that I would be unable to see this season until DVD. AMC doesn't stream it online like it does The Killing, nor does Hulu have it. However, I found that I could buy it on iTunes. Since I just happened to have iTunes cards lying around from Christmas, I was more than happy that I could watch the premiere finally!

The episode is just as disturbing and dramatic as you would think. The part of me that was hoping Jesse didn't succeed in killing Gale was saddened by how the episode opened. No X-Files fake-outs on this show! Actually, they did do that between the pilot and the first episode, so maybe Vince didn't want to push it. The teaser of the episode was a flashback, a style they had used a lot in season 3. We saw Gale first setting up the super lab and discussing whether or not it was worth having Walt work for Gus. When the episode picked up after the title, it picked up the split second after last year's ending. I thought that was cool.

So much of the episode focused on Walt and the dangerous game he plays in the aftermath of his little risk. Can he convince Gus he is still needed? Gus more and more shows that he is not a man to be messed with. In some ways I worry because I don't like this show having a "villain". It headed that direction in season 3 with the cousins, and it felt a bit too traditional. There's already a lot of dramatic irony to contend with. Yet there is a certain reality to the types of people Walt will deal with if he continues to delve deeper into this world. I come to realize more and more that Walt's biggest problems stem from his ego. He is blinded by his own idea of his importance, the purity of his product, etc. Whenever there's a real game change, it's because Walt thought he knew what he was doing and got cocky.

It was good seeing Saul again, who is understandably skittery after his run-in with Mike last season. We also got back to the Hank and Marie relationship. Hank is still not happy with his situation, and who can blame him. I'm not sure how much time has passed here since he left the hospital. It can't have been much. But in the meanwhile he's been buying rocks off eBay. Marie keeps trying to be optimistic and talk to him about how his therapy is going, but he wants none of it. I've noticed this about women in general; they always want to discuss the last thing any man wants to talk about. The shooting, the physical therapy, the indignity, that is all Hank can brood on and the last thing in the world he wants to talk about. To me, Marie would be better off discussing anything else. Though it's also in her character to not be that smart. Side note: I wonder what's become of her kleptomania, and will that play a larger part later in the season?

There's a very shocking moment that comes toward the end of the episode that I won't spoil. But it does put things in perspective. The more the show goes down the rabbit hole, the more I wonder whether Walt can ever be redeemed, or is he sealed to a bad fate? The show is growing very Godfather-esque undertones, with Walt being the Michael Corleone. We just had the shooting of Fredo. Is there any hope for him? So because it's seeming like Walt's hubris will be his undoing, the character I'm most concerned about is Jesse. If Walt started a good guy who is descending into hell, Jesse started the troubled burnout, leading me to hope he can become something better. Whenever we're teased with that, it's been snatched away. Jesse's nobility gets him in more trouble. After what he's gone through the past three episodes, I hope he doesn't stay zombified.

With all the darkness, it was nice to see a few touches of the old dark humor back, which almost all but disappeared in season 3. It was there, but a lot more subdued. There's an awkwardly funny scene where Marie comes to see Skyler. And another reminder of how bad Walt and Jesse are at the tough guy business in a moment that recalls season one. I hope the show retains some of it's humor. I'd also love it if they could get back to the kind of "subversive chemistry lessons" the show used to do in the first season. Though the way the showing is going this seems unlikely. It is odd to feel I should start rooting for Hank. Finally, the show ends with a tease of where things might go that could make life difficult for Gus's operation in the future. The show has started to come down to this trend of ret-conning story threads. I hope they keep it to a minimum. Last year's RV story worked, but too much of that makes a mess of continuity (though this show is very good about continuity) and cheapens drama. At any rate, season four is off to a good start. Though last year had some really great moments for Aaron Paul, I still think the second season was the best so far. Will this year top it? Hope it was worth the wait.

Oh, and one of the later scenes made me really wish there was a Denny's around here.

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS (PART 2) -- My Immediate Reactions

2011-07-15T04:17:00.008-04:00

I've just returned from a back-to-back (well, half hour break in between) screening of Deathly Hallows parts 1 and 2. My immediate gut reactions from memory will be shared below. Feel free to add your own thoughts as you see the film. I'll try not to get too spoilerific, but there will still definitely be spoilers, so if you do not want to know anything at all, don't read any further.

It's good seeing the movie as one big four hour whole. I'm not sure how the second part will hold up just on it's own, as it is very action-heavy. It does have it's own kind of climactic rhythm, and in a way it's own themes, but Deathly Hallows is very much all of a piece. It's likeGone With the Wind or Kill Bill. Actually, it's structure reminded me a lot of Kill Bill, which I always thought was too heavy on one target in the first part, just as the first horcrux takes up all the time in the first movie, then the next two are dispensed with fairly quickly in part 2. These faults are Rowling's.

We open with a brief recap of the final scene of the last movie, then move right into Hogwarts. We haven't seen Hogwarts at all in Part 1, and this movie will take place almost entirely there.
I should mention also the 3D. They gave out special round Harry Potter 3D glasses, which was cute, but also a little annoying because having to wear them over my own glasses made them feel not quite large enough. While there are some shots that look cool in 3D, the movie didn't really need the conversion. I will say though that there is no frenetic action where the 3D makes this hard to make out. It's the best 3D of a Harry Potter I've seen. Still, there were moments that didn't feel dimensional at all, and other times, like when Harry is in his invisibility cloak, where the effect just looks distracting. I'll probably try to see this again in 2D.

The Dementors are still the bad unhooded version that Yates seems to like. In fact, I think this is the worst the dementors have ever looked in a Potter movie.

For those bothered by the lack of Dobby's gravestone in the last movie, it appears in this one.
John Hurt has a nice little scene with Harry, and it was nice to see him return as Ollivander. We didn't get much of him in Part 1. Though we never learn what happens to him AFTER this scene, as we get pretty quickly into the bank robbery.

Helena Bonham Carter does a great job playing Hermione as Bellatrix. It doesn't last very long, but it's memorable. I notice that in these films the non-human characters seem like they've been made a little more human. That may be why Dobby looked weird to me; they softened him and almost made him too human-like in the face. It's the same with the goblins. Their make-up has been toned down a bit, and sometimes feels too much like midget human bankers. Also, the dragon is so almost flesh-colored, and I'm not sure why. But the bank sequence on the whole is pretty good and kicks off pretty early in the film. This movie continues the conceit from the last one that each horcrux has that tea kettle sound. It allows Harry a kind of sixth sense of being able to hear them, which they come right out and say in this movie. To the point where he is hunting them by sound. While quick and easy for the movie, it takes away the logic of looking for something of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. The cup is never mentioned to be Hufflepuff's. He only knows about the diadem being Ravenclaw's because of flashes from Voldemort's mind.

We meet Aberforth Dumbledore, who is pretty well played. The biggest problem here is that the backstory is not explored enough. It is alluded to, but little more. Here would be the time to TELL us, but the movie refuses to. Aberforth has a beef against his brother, and we see the portrait of their dead sister, but the circumstances of her death are kept vague. No further mention is made of Grindelwald in this movie either. Thus the whole relationship and story leading up to the taking of the Elder Wand are gone. The movie should have tried harder to explain this somewhere over the course of two movies. Otherwise, there's almost no point in even HAVING the character in the movie.

The mirror thing is finally explained, somewhat. Instead of the story in the book, where it is given to Harry by Sirius and it smashes (maybe because Kloves didn't write the fifth movie), Harry's shard is a missing piece of one mirror. The rest of it is with Aberforth. He claims to have gotten it from Mundungus Fletcher, who took it from the Black house. It's an explanation that mostly works (though leaving that until the second movie is harsh). However, I'm left wondering why there is only one shard broken out and all the rest of the mirror is fine. How did it break and how did Harry come to have that piece? If he had found it while they were in hiding at the Black residence I would have bought it. But he started with it on Privet Drive in Part 1. That's poor scripting to me.

Then we get to Hogwarts and all our old friends are there. Neville, Seamus, Dean, Cho, even Lavender Brown appears, though she doesn't really say anything. I liked that Cho helped with the discussion of the diadem of Ravenclaw, since we barely even saw her in Part 1.
Snape stands before the school and asks anyone who knows Harry's whereabouts to step forward. No one does, until Harry himself comes forth in a great moment, followed by the Order of the Phoenix. Snape and McGonagall have a minor fight, brought on by the knowledge that he killed Dumbledore. Snape flees out the window.

McGonnagall's take-charge of Hogwarts is good. Once Snape is gone, she brings lights back up. It's still dark, but adds a bit of warmth. Yates still likes his movie to look all grey, but it's not so dark as Phoenix was. And we get cameo appearances from many of the school staff going back several films. Trelawny, Slughorn, even Sprout make appearances. Filch appears, though he's once again played a bit too hard for comedy. Minerva even calls him a "blithering idiot". Though his idiocy is still more in character than it was in some of the other films (especially Goblet of Fire). There's a point when Voldemort's voice calls for Harry Potter to be brought forth. Pansy Parkinson calls for someone to grab him. At that, McGonagall has Filch take all the Slytherins to the dungeon. I like that this is the first reference to the dungeon since the Columbus days. However, I had a real problem with this action, as it reinforces the idea that all Slytherins are evil. How is her rounding up all the Slytherin students any better than the Ministry rounding up all the mudbloods?

The battle on Hogwarts is epic, and hard to describe her. Events which are only talked about after the fact in the book are put onscreen. Still, we don't get everything. Giants do storm the castle, though I at first thought they were meant to be trolls. There is no fake-out Hagrid death. Actually, Hagrid feels a bit off to me in these two movies for some reason.

Neville and Seamus are told to blow up the bridge, and there's a great call back to how Seamus is always blowing stuff up.

Though he gets less to say or do, Dean Thomas also has a couple nice moments onscreen.
I thought the Gray Lady stuff was handled well. The actress was good, and there was a moment where she was scary. However, the ghost effect looks nothing like the ghost effect seen in the previous movies. I know those effects looked cheesy most of the time, so it's hard to say which is better. She's more in color and more spectral and animated. It's a better effect, but not consistent with the other films.

What IS consistent with the other films is the Chamber of Secrets. I'm so glad it's the same sets. Hermione and Ron have a nice kiss here, but it's missing something for me. This is the one casualty of the SPEW storyline being excised. In the book the moment is so perfect when Hermione finally pounces on Ron. Here, it's meant to come as a moment after they both thought they were going to die but it's too sudden for me. At a point a scene or two later, Ron says something that proves he had actually retained something Hermione had said last year. I think that might have been a more book-like impetus for her to kiss him. Though in the film it seems to be a mutual decision. I'll let you folks decide how you like it.

The Room of Requirement and the fire is a great scene. There's even cameos from the pixies from Chamber of Secrets. Since the actor who played Crabbe was arrested on drug charges before filming, he doesn't appear. Instead, joining Draco and Goyle is Blaise, which I kinda liked. It also allowed another black character to have some screen time.

Alan Rickman finally gets something to play beyond brooding and hitting people on the head. The moment when he dies matches what I pictured reading the book. I was always afraid they wouldn't be able to capture the sense at the end when Snape looks at Harry and sees Lily. It's subtle in the book, but I think it says the last thing he saw was Harry's eyes. Anyway, in the film they get the point by having his dying words be that he has his mother's eyes. And it doesn't play like that broken record it's been in previous movies. Harry collects Snape's memories from his tears. I don't remember it being that way in the book, but I liked it.

The Snape's memory stuff is very good. It's better than the brief bit we saw in Order of the Phoenix. While still not all that's in the book, and missing some key conversations with Lily, you get the emotion and the sense of plot as there is a lot of retcon exposition to give. Unlike in Half Blood Prince, the pensieve images are not all smoky and inky. They only get that way when transitioning in and out of scenes. This is nice because it allows the first meeting of Lily and Severus to be brightly lit and pretty. I also very much appreciated the way footage from all the previous Potter movies was worked in, especially the death of Lily. I'm sure it was hard to match up with a scene shot ten years ago (and so little of it), but it looks almost seamless. Too bad Chris Columbus will not get the credit he deserves for the stuff in this movie that he is responsible for shooting, and for designs he okayed for his films. Why does producer David Heyman get all this credit now? Anyway, these scenes are some of the best in the movie.

I really hate that Harry's invisibility cloak is never revealed to be one of the Deathly Hallows. It made bad sense in the first part when he went to places like Godric's Hollow without it when in the book he had it, knowing that everyone was after him. But I figured that maybe they were saving it so the audience wouldn't immediately grasp that his cloak was THE cloak. But then what? He uses it in the bank and then it's never seen again. Also, the "cloak-vision" is not the same as it always was before. Yates uses the same sort of "magical wall" effect he used with Hermione's enchantments in part 1. He spends a lot of time these two movies flying through windows and barriers and such, actually.

Harry's little reunion in the woods with his dead friends is nice. Good to see Sirius again. The one problem here is the acknowledgement about Lupin's kid. Harry says, "What about your son?" First, only Lupin is there, not Tonks even though we know from earlier that they were both dead. Second, there was only a passing reference in the first movie about her being pregnant. Yes, she must have had the baby in the months Harry was in the woods, but the movie doesn't tell us that. In fact, there's no point at all where Harry would even know that Lupin had a son. I suspect there was a moment shot and then cut out for pacing. Still, it makes me wonder if it was even worth putting the baby bit into this movie. Reminds me of Lost, and how Sun and Jin were killed off leaving an orphan. Actually, the King's Cross scene reminded me of the ending of Lost too.

Hagrid is being held by the Death Eaters in the woods, but with no explanation as to how or why. Harry's "death" is a good moment. The King's Cross scene is nice and I like the whiteness of it all. Though it being a train station also calls to mind the opening of The Matrix Revolutions.

Sissy Malfoy has this odd moment when she checks Harry's body, sees he's not dead and tells Voldemort he is. That's fine, but she says "Tell me he's alive Draco." and Draco's not even there.
Neville has a great little speech about how the fight doesn't end just because Harry's dead. He sums up much of the movie's theme by saying that people we love live on with us in our memory. It also seems like an invention of Kloves' to get Neville to in some way call back to his parents since he doesn't get to personally avenge them.

The slaying of Nagini is cool. It's all intercut with this long fight between Harry and Voldemort. The death of Bellatrix is not as good as it should be. It feels like there's not enough build-up to it. The "Not my daughter, you bitch" feels like it comes right out of Aliens, and yet the delivery doesn't feel like it comes from an emotional place. At least not to me. In the end, Mrs. Weasly fights Bellatrix quickly, nearly strangles her by tightening her corset magically, then BLOWS HER UP.

The end of the movie also plays out differently. Draco never quite redeems himself in the same way he does in the books (which I don't remember well). Sissy definitely turns good, and Draco does have moments where he doesn't want to kill Harry. During the final battles, the Malfoy family just sneaks off and runs away. Lucius, Narcissa and Draco just head off into the woods and that's the end of them. Harry's final confrontation with Voldemort is almost all physical. None of that standing around explaining wandlore like in the book. He just disarms Voldemort and kills him. It was so abrupt to me (it comes almost immediately after Nagini's death) that I was confused. Only later when Ron and Hermione ask does Harry explain his theory about Draco being the true master of the wand. In a way this less dramatic rendering helps iron over the severe illogic of this story point that I've never been happy with. I don't get how Harry is master of the wand for disarming a completely different wand from Draco. That just makes no sense to me. I understand allegiance wand to wand, but some wand shifting allegiance based on ANY wand being taken? It makes sense that the wand wants Draco and thus doesn't work for Voldemort and that is enough for me. It doesn't NEED to be Harry's ability to wield it that does him in, does it?

After this, the movie follows the epilogue and jumps ahead 19 years. This scene is mostly successful. However, it is here that I really fault Yates' direction and muted color palette. It made sense when Voldemort was in power, but this is a happier time that is supposed to recall the glory and wonder of the first movie. So I think it should have been shot with much brighter golden hues reminiscent of those days. If there was ever a time to get back to the Columbus look, it's here. Also, the passage to platform 9 3/4 is now on the other side of the screen, which bothers me. The aging looks good on Dan and Rupert. Emma looks almost the same. The scene is nice, I just wish it were brighter, to give more of a happy ending feeling.

Finally, I think it was nice for there to be music cues from previous films in this score, and in the credits it mentions John Williams' score from "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone". I was impressed they used the real title there in the credits.

Anyway, that's all I can think of right now. I'm sure there are other points that I've forgotten or glossed over. On the whole, it's a good movie despite the missing exposition. Better than some Potter films. Is it the best? That's a tough call. I'm not even sure how to grade it by itself as Part 2, but as a whole Deathly Hallows is a good ride. It's really more a unified film than other similar projects.

A Tribute to Sherwood Schwartz

2011-07-12T17:26:00.002-04:00

Today television legend Sherwood Schwartz died at the age of 94. What better way to celebrate than with the opening themes to those ridiculous but entertaining shows with the frustratingly catchy music?

Unfortunately I couldn't embed the Gilligan themes, but there are links there.

Gilligan's Island (1964) -- The ORIGINAL opening from the unseen pilot episode

Gilligan's Island (1964-1965) -- first season

Gilligan's Island (1965-1967) -- intro with Professor and Mary Ann

Gilligan's Island (1964-1967) closing theme

It's About Time (1966-1967)

The Brady Bunch (1969-1974)

Dusty's Trail (1973-1974)

The Brady Kids (1972-1974) -- did every popular show in the era have a nonsensical animated counterpart??

Big John, Little John (1976)

The Brady Brides (1981) -- short-lived series spun off from a TV movie

The Bradys (1990) -- ill-fated one-hour drama version of everyone's favorite blended family

And the less said about The Brady Bunch Variety Hour the better.

GLEE: "New York"

2011-07-05T09:01:00.002-04:00

The time has come...

I've put this off for far too long...

Season finale...

a full season of posts leading up to this...

Nationals are upon us, and Glee goes on location in New York City (that's right, there's a "City" in the name -- New York is a state).

Now let's talk about it.

At first I was going to praise the show for its use of Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue" opening the show. But then I remembered that's exactly how Woody Allen opened Manhattan. Even so, the montage of Times Square under the Gershwin is a nice homage to Woody Allen's movie. And one that suddenly transitions into a seeming Mary Tyler Moore Show homage with Rachel standing there in her little beret saying, "I made it." Is this a reference to "You're gonna make it after all"?

Rachel buys tickets to Cats from a scalper. Quinn points out that Cats closed 11 years ago. How is Rachel the theater geek so stupid that she doesn't know Cats closed? Why does she still think it's the longest running show? It WAS... but has been surpassed by Phantom of the Opera. I hope another show comes along to take the title back from Andrew Lloyd Weber.

Rachel asks Finn in a throwaway line, "Do you know why it smells like it's wet here all the time?" One of the few points in the episode that shatters the "New York is the best place in the world" illusion otherwise perpetuated by the episode and all other American popular culture. I can't speak to the observation, as it was raining when I was there. But honestly, New York is just like any city, only more so. If you're from nowhere Ohio, then yeah I guess it's magical. But if you've got a city nearby, it loses its luster. In many ways I prefer Boston.

I like that Kurt says "I feel like Eloise." Though I've never much liked the Eloise books.

Okay, hold up here... they are in New York for the competition and they still haven't written any songs yet??? And yet they think they are going to win?? With unwritten, unrehearsed music? This is wrong on so many levels. It's irresponsible. And it's bad TV writing. Did they come prepared with ANYTHING??

While the kids are left to work on songwriting, Mr. Shue goes to work on the April Rhodes musical. The first of the kids' song attempts is Brittany's ode to a cup. It's funny, of course, but proves why they should have had something solid written before they left. There's a great shot where Santana is struggling not to laugh. But what I also like about the song is that it makes perfect sense coming from somebody whose favorite song is "My Headband". In that way, it's a nice homage. And if you watch the previous scene closely, you'll see Brittany is playing with a cup. So that's nice motivation for her writing it.

The kids decide to go out into the city, thinking the inspiration will help them write songs. They do this bizarre ode to New York mash-up thing that totally destroys the opening from On the Town until it is unrecognizable. Leonard Bernstein is rolling in his grave. I don't know where this song came from, but I hate it. I also would like to know where all the people are in this city. I noticed it throughout the episode, but particularly this part. It seems like there should be a lot more folks out on the streets than there are. There are shots where it frankly looks like the production crew drew an imaginary radius around the actors that nobody could cross. So it's like the club is in the center, there's big empty space around him, and THEN all the normal people hanging or walking around. I know there's a certain "musical" aesthetic we are used to, but it's very hard to know whether this episode is supposed to have a realism or not. The sequence ends with them up on this raised platform around a fountain... how did Artie get up there? Did they lift him up just so he could be there too?

The show perpetuates another myth: that of girls pillow fighting. And why are they always feather pillows with feathers going everywhere? That's not real. And somebody is going to get charged for ruining all those pillows.

Meanwhile, Mr. Shue is alone on an empty Broadway stage back at April Rhodes' theater. So he stands there and sings a song for himself. ...Who is lighting it? April and the crew have gone to dinner. A theater worker comes in and tells him he's got talent. He says he was trying out something for the show. Actually, it was just a way for Glee to plug Matthew Morrison's new album by showcasing him singing his song, "Still Got Tonight".

The guys advise Finn to try having a romantic day with Rachel in the city if he wants to date her. He tells her to meet him at the bridge in the park and dress up. I like that the score in the background is "Someone to Watch Over Me". They eat at Sardi's, and Patti LuPone is there, so Rachel goes up and speaks to her. It's weird for celebrities to play themselves on this show when so often they play other characters. She tells Rachel to "never give up". You know, like they always do. Did this show need her cameo? Not really. And if I haven't said so already, I don't get why people love Patti LuPone so much. She's all right I guess, but I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to her. As night comes, and Finn and Rachel walk down the street, the other guys are there to perform "Bella Notte" from Lady and the Tramp. Since when can Puck play the accordion? Finn goes to kiss Rachel, but she says, "I can't," and leaves. The guys take no notice and finish their song.

The next day, Kurt and Rachel go have breakfast at Tiffany's. You know, as you do. And once again the score gets points from me for being "Moon River". It's the best incidental score of the whole season. Rachel has decided that she is coming to New York for college when she graduates because it is where she belongs (you and a million others, kid). She doesn't know whether to choose Finn or Broadway. Kurt says he can help her decide and brings her to the theater where Wicked plays. They sneak into the theater. Some usher catches them, but gives them fifteen minutes, like this happens all the time. I like the ghost light on the stage.

Before I go further on this scene, I want to mention that Kurt has his gayest hairstyle ever in this scene. And I don't really understand why gay men seem to all want their hair to be pouffy and pointy on top. I've always thought it looked tremendously stupid. Anyway, Kurt tells Rachel to imagine singing with an audience. Then suddenly he waves his hand and the whole set changes. At what point did Kurt obtain MAGICAL POWERS?? And in case you think this is all imaginary, they use all the set pieces as they sing, and it doesn't change back when they are done. Kurt and Rachel perform "For Good" from the show, and it's pretty good. I'm not a fan of the show (it is NOT Oz), but most of the music is fine. Last year I thought that the album duet of "Defying Gravity" was the best version I'd ever heard. This performance tops it, maybe because the song is better. It's one of the few I kind of like. Though I dislike how it treats the characters. But I still like the song all right, and sometimes have entertained the notion that it will be my wedding song. The performance is good, but I don't really see that it answers her question any. It was just an excuse to put the Glee kids on the set of Wicked. There was a moment when Kurt sings "I guess we know there's blame to share" that it almost sounded like "Blaine to share" which made me laugh to myself.

Quinn is still upset about Finn. There's a funny moment where she thinks Santana is coming on to her. And then Santana and Brittany give her the same pick-me-up advice that Steve observed years before on Coupling: to get a haircut. There was this one rant where Steve says that men would never "reach that level of earth-shattering boredom and mind-numbing despair where we would get a haircut recreationally." But that's apparently what Quinn does. The real reason is that Diana wanted to cut her hair, so they wrote it into the show. I grow tired of these young women chopping all their hair off, but at least the end result is better than Emma Watson's pixie cut. We never actually see the haircut though. This makes me wonder if the scene was written after the fact to explain it.

Hey, nice continuity! The hotel guy chastises Mr. Shue about the destroyed pillows in the girls' room. And here I was complaining. On the whole I will say that having done hotel stays with large groups of teen drama kids, the show has a pretty good sense of what goes on. The Vocal Adrenaline coach knows that Will is planning a Broadway debut and is using it to his tactical advantage. he told the kids about it, and they are angry. I don't really understand what everyone is so angry about, since the plan was to do the show after Nationals during the summer, and then be back. But Will decides that he already had his moment on the stage, so he's not going. Wait, why can't he still do it over the summer? There is no reason to worry about it, or tell the kids about it. I have never felt there was any drama in this story point.

Why does Will think they have "a really good shot at winning this thing"? Has he even heard their original songs? When the heck did they rehearse them? It didn't seem like they were ever all in the same room very long! We are informed that the Nationals level is a multi-layered event with several rounds of finalists. From 50 schools, it's narrowed down and then narrowed down again. So this is a built-in trick of the writers to ensure that there's always a level for the group to strive for and lose next season.

The first group we see is an all-girl group doing some standard club song. Their outfits are these grecian things which look nice when they are standing still, but ridiculous when you see their choreography. It's mostly white girls trying to act black. There were some black girls too... why didn't one of them get the solo? And can I just ask why anyone continues to call girls "Shorty"? Do any girls actually like this? Mercedes says, "They're really good" and I'm thinking, no they're not!

In the bathroom Rachel runs into Sunshine. Remember her, the girl that left the school back in the first episode? She's so nervous and hates Vocal Adrenaline, so she is thinking about going back to the Philippines. There's a sort of reconciliation here where Rachel helps her get over her nerves. This character was one who went nowhere this season.

So Vocal Adrenaline performs. But I spent more thought wondering why there are always these glittery microphones. It starts with just Sunshine on an empty stage, but ultimately the rest of the group comes on. You know, like New Directions did for Regionals. The choreography was good, though we've seen better from the group.

Backstage, Finn makes a good point: all Rachel's ever done is beg to be with Finn and now he's basically begging for it and she says no. These conversations always happen just before they go on, don't they? So they come on and perform a duet called "Pretending" which is all about whether they should be together. I wonder if Finn wrote it. It's basically an anthem to underlying sexual tension. I'm waiting for someone to do a little YouTube video about Mulder and Scully with this song. The song ends and before you can say Mitch and Mickey, Finn and Rachel kiss right there onstage. Many in the audience are shocked. Jesse St. James considers it unprofessional. I think they might have gotten away with it if it weren't so long.

Next up is a song that allows almost everyone a solo moment, which is nice. Some of the choreography was nice. But it was mostly clear that it was a bit thrown together. It was a fun performance, but not a winning one. So it was totally obvious that they were not going to place. Actually, I figured from the beginning they wouldn't win, because that would give next season somewhere to go. In the realm of predictable television, you can generally bet that Glee will continue losing in each finale. The show is built on struggling losers. Once they win Nationals, it becomes about maintaining a title, which is a different energy. Like comparing Karate Kid III with the first one.

It's a shame they couldn't have at least beaten Vocal Adrenaline. The best thing about the list of Top 10 schools is some of them have really funny names. Names like Singaz Wit Attitude, an obvious parallel to N.W.A. Then there's Teenage Scream, Soundsplosion, and Jefferson City Airplane. The writers room must have had fun coming up with these. But my personal favorite is The Waffletoots.

Maybe it's sad, but did they really think they could coast into Nationals that way? They came to the city completely unprepared and they were SURPRISED they didn't place? Santana goes nuts, like Ricky Ricardo nuts, shouting in Spanish. When Kurt tells it all to Blane afterwards, he doesn't mind. He got to sing on a Broadway stage and all. Then they exchange "I love you"s faster than any couple ever has on this show. Kurt says, "When you stop and think about it, Kurt Hummel's had a pretty good year." What?? Maybe Kurt's had a pretty good two weeks. But we are talking about the same Kurt Hummel who had to change schools because of threats to his life, had an unwelcome kiss from a closeted homophobe, the bird he was watching died, his father nearly died of a heart attack, and he was embarrassingly singled out as queen of the prom. And he had "a pretty good year"? Time to put down the glass of optimism, Kurt; it's now half-empty.

We also learn that Mercedes and Sam are indeed now an item. Which is good for Mercedes, but not an odd ending knowing now that Chord Overstreet is not returning as a regular next year. Will Sam at least show up here and there?

Brittany and Santana have another of their weird locker love scenes. Brittany sums up the year saying it was about acceptance. As if any of us who watched it all couldn't have figured that out. Trust your audience a little more, Ryan Murphy!

Finn is blaming himself for losing Nationals. To blame it all on the kiss is wrong, since they lost out of their own lack of preparation. I fear that they won't see it that way now that they have something else to blame. Rachel at least has decided it's okay to date Finn for awhile.

They finished in 12th Place? Why are they so depressed? Don't they know how fantastic that it? That's out of FIFTY. That means they did better than more than half of the schools. That they were two slots away from placing. And that was all with stuff they threw together in a hotel! If they actually planned and prepped properly, they could EASILY place next year. So why not learn from this and be optimistic?

In the end, this season has been all over the place. The finale was okay, but was it as good as it should be? Probably not. But better than some other episodes this season. Much that was teased last summer didn't happen. The MySpace audition search for new cast members was essentially a lie; that all got thrown out. Did any of those people end up on The Glee Project? One could seriously charge them with false advertising, I think. Characters were introduced that went nowhere. Mercedes was supposed to get a boyfriend this year, and it took the whole season. Not fair to her. I did like Coach Beiste, probably the best new character. A shame she seemed to disappear at the end of the season. The series had some of its lowest points ever, and relied too much on Kurt and being preachy, but there were great moments of the sarcastic wit that made this show so good originally. Those few times showcased why it's still a good show and if they can harness that back again, they can pull together an amazing third season. If not, the show will continue to steadily decline. I hope not.

My hope for next year? Nationals in California, and a Beach Boys-themed episode. That would be awesome. See, I should write for this show. If you're out there reading this, Ryan Murphy, can I join your writers' room?

Songs in tonight's episode:

New York, New York

My Cup

I Love New York/New York, New York

Still Got Tonight

Bella Notte

For Good

Yeah!

As Long As You're There

Pretending

Light Up the World

GLEE: "Funeral"

2011-06-29T08:49:00.002-04:00

I really should finish these up, since I have these two episodes I still haven't posted about. Again, it's been so long now that I have to go based on my notes, but it should be okay.

I loved when Santana said that Finn sings and dances "like a zombie who has to poop." It was all I could think about while watching him sing and dance during these episodes.

Jesse St. James has come on as a consultant to the glee club to help them beat Vocal Adrenaline. He tells them Vocal Adrenaline's stragety: find the best singer and highlight them. That was certainly clear last year. I was bothered by their "Bohemian Rhapsody" last year when it was 90% Jesse singing, and everyone else just dancing around. But Jesse is clear in this episode that's how they do things, and he wants to do the same here. And rather than just give the solo to Rachel (wouldn't that be suspicious?), they decide to hold auditions. Finn has been insulted enough and doesn't want to audition.

We finally meet Becky's mom in this episode. Becky wants to join the glee club because Sue has kicked her off the Cheerios. Mr. Shue turns her down as politely as he can because they are gearing up for competition. I was taken aback by this whole thing at first, but was at least glad that it meant the end of the exploitation of Becky as Sue's lackey. And then we learn why Becky was fired; Sue's sister has died, and Sue can't be reminded of it. Throughout this episode we are going to get a weird mix of cuddly Sue and mean Sue. Since last year's softening of her character, the writers have been walking this bizarre tightrope of how to maintain her demeanor. Is she warm and understanding, if distant, or is she horrible and belligerent? This episode manages to have an excuse to be both.

Remember when I didn't understand what the big problem was with April Rhodes a couple episodes ago? Remember I said that Will could just do the show during the summer? Well, he apparently took my advice because that's what he's planning to do. And it makes perfect sense. He hasn't told the kids yet, though.

The center of this episode is the auditioning for solos. I like that there was a sign-up sheet, and Rachel signed with a gold star, recalling the pilot. Auditions take place in an empty auditorium with just Mr. Shue and Jesse at a table. Jesse took a class in reality show judging before he flunked out of school, so he comes at this thinking he's Simon Cowell.

First up is Santana. She performs "Back to Black" and it's all right. I thought at times she sounded a little like Emiliana Torrini (the chick who does "Gollum's Song" at the end of The Two Towers). At least it wasn't another lesbian love song. Jesse doesn't think much of it.

Next up is Kurt, and as you would guess he's singing a showtune written for a female. In this case, a great song: "Some People" from Gypsy. I thought that the arrangement was too high for Kurt. It sounded slightly high to me as it is, and Kurt ends up having problems in his upper register during this song (not sure whether to belt or go falsetto). Having said that, he has some fun with his choreography, ending with a great slide at the end. Jesse is weirded out by him doing a girl song. I will say, Kurt shouldn't ALWAYS do girl songs (though they usually get the best ones in musical theater). He also says that if Kurt is going to take on a song like that which has been nailed by legends like Ethel Merman and Patti LuPone, he needs to really hit it out of the park, and he didn't. Mr. Shue thinks he did a great job (of course he does). Kurt is angry and offended by Jesse's comments. But he's right. He didn't nail the song. It was good, but was it good enough? It was a very Simon Cowell thing to say.

Next up is Mercedes. She comes on with a powerhouse performance of "Try a Little Tenderness". Mr. Shue is blown away, and lays the praise on thick ("Thank you so much for letting me hear that!"). Jesse calls her out for being lazy. There was no choreography, she just stood at the mic. He then asks whether she's willing to really work a song until it's perfect for nationals. She counters that her music is spontaneous and she just comes out and does her thing. Jesse argues that's not good enough. Again, he might be a little harsh here, but from what we've seen of Mercedes this season, IT'S TRUE. She is lazy. She thinks everyone should just bow down to her while she gets to the mic and does her thing. She needed some reality.

Finally, Rachel is up and she decides to sing the finale from Funny Girl. It's not bad. Jesse has no criticism for her. And therein lies the obvious bias. He is pulling for her and has been from the start. I agreed with his prior criticisms, but there must have been something in Rachel's performance to pick out. For me, it's that whenever she sings a Streisand song, she feels the need to effect a "Barbra" voice. She gets an accent and mimics. She shouldn't hide behind that; this isn't imitation, it's performance.

Finn wants to be nice to Sue, and he suggests the glee club plan the funeral. She agrees, only so that she doesn't have to do it. We learn that the sister's favorite movie was Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory, so it's a Wonka-themed funeral. There's even a chocolate fountain. ...Can I just ask, has anyone ever been to a themed funeral? I love it when she first walks in the door, and the music is the exact same bit of score (those first notes of "Pure Imagination") that are used in the movie when the door to the Chocolate Room opens.

The club performs "Pure Imagination" at the funeral. It's not bad, but it sounds like it's too high. Why raise the key? It leads to the guys having to strain out the upper notes. It's not a power ballad, they shouldn't have to shout the lyrics. I also am having a problem in general with the group singing simple songs as if they are modern day pop songs. Just trust your voices and the song; you don't have to sing like Boyz II Men.

I have in my notes "good break-up scene". I guess this must be Finn and Quinn in the car. I thought it was a good dramatic scene. And I also wondered whether Kurt and Blaine will end up getting a good break-up scene. After all, can we really expect them to be together forever? Wouldn't that overly mythologize the gay experience?

The auditions are tearing the group apart. There is jealousy and anger among all those who tried out. Mr. Shue has final say over who wins the solo. Jesse thinks it's in the bag for Rachel. But instead Mr. Shue fires Jesse and says to forget the solo thing. They will do original songs again and work together as a group. Then everyone magically hasn't a bad word to say to each other. What?

I'd also like to add that Nationals are VERY soon, and you have no idea what your set list will be? In real life, you'd be rehearsing the same songs over and over to get them right. This winging-it approach will not garner them a win, nor should it. Just like Mercedes, it's lazy. They should have at least ONE number locked down. But no, they are going to write another song? Why not just do "Loser Like Me" again? Nobody there will have heard it! It will be new to THEM. And this is a problem with the competitions in general. Glee doesn't want to repeat itself, so they never perform songs that we see them rehearsing. At least in the first season there were story reasons behind that. But the unreality is starting to catch up with this show.

Sue lets Becky back on the Cheerios and apologizes. That's nice. I hope Becky doesn't go back to being mindless lackey. Oh, and Sue says that she's pursuing her dream of running for the House of Representatives. Hey, that's a dream of mine too. Sometimes anyway.

And then the worst news of all... Terri is moving to Miami! NO! Terri, this show needs you!

Songs in tonight's episode:

Back to Black

Some People

Try a Little Tenderness

My Man

Pure Imagination

Next episode: The season finale with Nationals in New York. Will a new location make for a good episode? If you're reading this, you've probably already seen it and can answer that question.

They Got Him

2011-06-23T07:07:00.002-04:00

I turn on the TV this morning to find that the FBI has finally captured Whitey Bulger, the notorious Boston crime lord who's been one of our most wanted for a long time. Wow things sure are getting done these days. First Osama, then Bulger. Also curious how America's Most Wanted gets cancelled, then some of our most wanted are found (not saying there's a corollary, just think it's funny happenstance).

It used to be there were things you took for granted as absolutes here. The Red Sox will never win a series, Whitey Bulger will always be out there somewhere, etc. But now that the Bruins have won the Stanley Cup, it seems our sports teams have all been good again recently. Now they got Whitey Bulger. I don't know how to live in such a world. What's next, a clean Charles River?

I kid of course. Good job, FBI.

Obama 2012

2011-06-13T21:56:00.002-04:00

I'm watching the Republican presidential debate right now, and it's growing clear to me that we're looking at another 4 years of Barack Obama. That's assuming he runs for re-election, of course. If the Democratic party starts from scratch, it might play out differently, but the gathering of eight potential Republican candidates is not looking good. Mitt Romney is not a good candidate to my mind, certainly not as a Republican. Can any of the others beat Romney? I'd say no. A couple have a shot, but it's tough. And then can any beat Obama? At this point, I'd say no.

I'm not a Republican. I'm an un-enrolled voter with Libertarian leanings. To me, from a somewhat objective standpoint, it's a bad omen when the most attractive candidate seems to be Ron Paul.

Right now I think is a golden opportunity for some charismatic and brilliant independent candidate to campaign hard for the job. Because even though it's early, it's looking to me like the writing is already on the wall. I would love it if an independent candidate actually won the Presidency and proved that the whole silly partisan way we've been running elections in this country can be circumvented. I consider our present system at worst unconstitutional and at best bad for America.

In any case, this debate wasn't much of one. More like a "who can claim he espouses the most conservative Christian ideologies" popularity contest. I'll keep my eye on one or two of them, but it doesn't seem like most of these people can think enough for themselves. And who was that woman there? She proved with every word out of her mouth she had no business being on that stage.

And while I'm on the subject, I'd like to implore all candidates in all future debates to just SHUT UP AND ANSWER THE QUESTION. Stick to your time, DON'T pull that "can I just respond to that question five questions ago?" DON'T twist everything into a way to take up time talking about your pet issue ("I don't support that policy, but I do support jobs!"). But most of all, and I know this is sticky, don't waste your time pandering to the voters or the folks asking questions. We KNOW you appreciate the military service of the veteran who just asked you a question. Guess what, so does everyone else on that stage. So stop wasting 5 minutes thanking his family for his service and just ANSWER HIS QUESTION. That speaks far more than your platitudes that you think make you look good.

Of course in the end it shouldn't really matter since the President is elected by Electors. But as we go into primary season, to me it looks like the only hope the Republicans have is if the Mayans were right; if we're all still around for 2013, I see another inauguration for President Obama in our future.

Thank You, Alamo Drafthouse!

2011-06-09T17:12:00.004-04:00

If you are a cinephile, at some point in your life you've probably heard about the Alamo Drafthouse, a chain of movie theaters in Texas (and one in Virginia) that want you to have a great movie-going experience. I've always thought it would be nice to see a film there. Recently there was a screening of the Lord of the Rings trilogy with a six-course meal served throughout the day. That's just cool.

Now, there's a new reason to love them and want to go to Texas: their no tolerance no talking or texting policy. Apparently one self-entitled patron wasn't happy about the policy which got her kicked out, and led to their new PSA which they are running before all their movies.

Alamo Drafthouse claims that she was warned twice before they threw her out, so don't feel bad for her. I've once actually yelled at kids talking and on their phones in a movie. This PSA makes me happy. So no one ever kicked you out every other time you've done it in every other theater? Doesn't make it right. Most theaters have a nominal "no texting" policy. These guys just had the guts to do something about it. Everything really is bigger and better in Texas!

Surf's Up

2011-06-08T16:22:00.002-04:00

Long Promised Road

Disney Girls (1957)

Lookin' at Tomorrow (A Welfare Song)

Till I Die

Great Albums That Never Were

2011-06-03T21:01:00.004-04:00

In this edition of Macaroni Waffles, I'm going to point out a few rock albums that should have been some of the greatest projects ever, but for various reasons didn't happen and didn't come out as planned.

5. Bob Dylan's acoustic '80s album -- the 1980s were for the most part not good to Bob Dylan's music career. Despite some success with Infidels and the fact that the songs on Oh Mercy are so good, there is a lot to dislike. I mean, there's good stuff peppered here and there, but a string of forgettable stuff. His worst albums come from the mid-1980s. Somewhere around 1985, Dylan had said that he thought his next album would be just him on guitar and harmonica again. As a kind of break from the thing he was doing at the time with horn sections and back-up girls and lots of musicians. When the next album came out, only one song fit that description. The rest of the album, Empire Burlesque, was an overproduced disco-sounding thing that mostly didn't work. A perfectly good song, "Someone Got a Hold of My Heart" was rewritten into a passable one that opened the album. And the final acoustic song, "Dark Eyes", is good, but doesn't feel like it belongs with this record. If Dylan had done the acoustic thing he wanted to originally, it would have hearkened back to his albums of the early 1960s and been fascinating. Imagining "Dark Eyes" sitting amid other tunes like it is tempting. As it is, Dylan would only briefly do acoustic folk again for his albums of covers in the early '90s, particularly Good As I Been to You. And he would never return to it.

4. Bob Dylan/Johnny Cash -- Sorry to have Dylan on here twice, but this is another one that I just can't get over sometimes. In the late 1960s Cash and Dylan got together and recorded songs with the intent of releasing a joint album. Unfortunately, the only track we ever got was a reworking of Dylan's "Girl From the North Country". It's not a bad take on the song, though it loses a little bit of something. And unfortunately, there are bits where some lyrics are blown in the take that got used. Still, the idea of their voices coming together is an intriguing one and I wish more of those sessions were released. I think a couple others might have been in various places or bootlegs, but the project as intended never materialized.

5. The Beatles, Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band -- I know what you're thinking: "What are you talking about? They released Sgt. Pepper! It was the best album ever!" This is true. But the Sgt. Pepper that we got wasn't quite the one originally planned. Firstly, the track list for side one changed. This isn't an uncommon thing. Track lists often change as artists figure out where they want things, or record companies demand changes. Part of the concept to Sgt. Pepper was for each track to segue into the next, like it was a concert. This happens quite successfully at both the beginning and end of the album. Now, as Lennon said most of his contributions could have gone anywhere. I actually think the first REAL concept album is The Who Sell Out. But I digress. Originally, the slightly different order of the first side was designed for more of that segue sense. In the end, it doesn't make much of a difference, but for example the little organ bit that opens "Fixing a Hole" was to segue off of "Mr. Kite", if I recall correctly. Furthermore, three tracks originally recorded for the album didn't make it on. "Penny Lane" and "Strawberry Fields Forever" were rushed out when EMI demanded a single. They work fine off the album, but definitely have the same sound. And George's "Only a Northern Song" wasn't released until included in the Yellow Submarine film, leaving poor George only one song on the album.

However, none of this really compares with the biggest crime of the original release: it's stereo mix. The album was planned for monophonic sound. It was all mixed for mono. Understand, this was not unusual at the time. Heck, Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys preferred it (due to his deafness in one ear). Especially when experimentation with tape loops and sound effects and all became part of the sound, doing a stereo mix meant having to figure out how to spread the sonic experience across that gulf. The album was always meant to be released in mono, but at the last minute someone at EMI I think wanted it in stereo. If I'm recalling correctly, a small number of albums were pressed in the original mono mix, and are rare collector's items today. So a rushed stereo mix was put out, which mostly consisted of putting all these vocals on one side and all these on another side. That's why it's so easy to make karaoke versions of Sgt. Pepper's songs just by playing with the balance. For example, turn on "When I'm Sixty-Four" and switch it all to the left (I think it's left), and all Paul's vocals disappear. It's a great album, but a bad mix. In the 1990s a special edition mono release of the album was planned, with collectible packaging, but it never got released. It would not be until the Beatles "remasters" appeared a couple years ago that the original mono mix would get a proper release.

2. The Who, Lifehouse -- The great fabled project of Pete Townsend. This was to be his follow-up to the smash rock opera Tommy. It was more audacious in concept, with some fantastic songs. There was supposed to be an accompanying movie with it. Footage was shot of the band playing live. There was this whole added element of an audience essentially living with them at the theater, which never really worked. In the end, the project got out of hand and was never properly nailed down. No one besides Pete seemed to really understand it, and as the group tells it, he had trouble communicating it fully. But one theme that is evident is that of the meaning of life being a musical note; it had this great cosmic scope that the music inspired us and bound as all as the inspiration for our music but also for civilization. It encapsulated an idea very present in 1970s rock that music would save us all. The story was a futuristic world where everything was waste (hence "teenage wasteland"). Most of the songs ended up released on Who's Next. The greatness of the songs from the Lifehouse project translated to what many believe to be the best Who album. But the album as released also suffers from losing some of that original context. It's an irresistible opening to the album to start with "Baba O'Riley"'s synthesizer. But that's not where the story starts. Lyrics like "Out here in the field I fight for my meals" seem a little silly out of context. Townsend has stated that his intention behind "teenage wasteland" being about literal waste, not about "getting wasted" is not usually understood. Similarly, "Won't Get Fooled Again" is a fantastic rock song, and an obvious album closer. But it's not really the closer. The appropriate closing song is "The Song is Over". This track ends with a little epilogue about a single note "playing so free". It sort of sits there with no context on the album and then is overshadowed by "Won't Get Fooled Again". But originally, as I've said, that was the whole point. The line was a call back to another song that was recorded but didn't make the album, "Pure and Easy". It begins the story like a fairy tale: "There once was a note, pure and easy, playing so free like a breath rippling by." Then the story segues into the rise of civilization and the quest to understanding the note. And without that song, "The Song is Over" loses so much of it's power. I personally think that "Pure and Easy" just wasn't recorded properly for the song. There's too much in that recording. I think it should have started basic and then the instruments come in gradually. Instead, the track we finally got released on Odds and Sods starts with the drums like a standard rock song. It was just wrong conceptually for what Pete was saying, I think. But that's just me. Anyway, while "The Song is Over" does still end with a bit of irony, it's not the harsh joke of "meet the new boss/same as the old boss". It just plays out into something of a hopeful tomorrow. And that's a better closer.

For years upon years the Lifehouse legend grew and festered. People wondered about what the original concept was, how the songs were integrated, what was the story. Finally in the last decade the BBC went to Townsend and they put together a complete version of Lifehouse. Now, it's not quite as it would have been with The Who, but it's Pete's story and his music. There is a highlights CD that's a little hard to find called Lifehouse Elements which has an extra track. But the only way to get the complete Lifehouse Chronicles was to buy it directly from Townsend's company Eel Pie. Unfortunately, that was a limited edition 6-disc set, and is no longer available on his site. So now the only way to hear the BBC Radio version of the complete Lifehouse is to hunt for it. It'll set you back some cash, but if you simply must hear it, there you are. Still, you can order the book of the radio script, so that's something.

1. The Beach Boys, Smile -- This is the grand-daddy of them all. The single most legendary album that never was. After Brian Wilson's brilliant Pet Sounds was released, his plans for the next album were more grandiose. He wanted to take The Beach Boys to higher levels, and really be respected for artistry. The Beatles were fond of Pet Sounds (and indeed, Wilson was fond of their Rubber Soul, leading to a kind of friendly rivalry). McCartney even came by when Wilson was working on one track, "Vegetables" and according to rumor Paul can be heard munching celery on the original track. Anyway, Smile was supposed to be bigger and better than anything before. To take The Beach Boys into new symphonic directions. The lyrics were poetic, written by Van Dyke Parks. The piece was to have a very American flavor to it, sweeping through the history of the nation with references to the American Indian and Plymouth Rock. At one point Wilson called his concept "a teenage symphony to God" as a rock album. "Good Vibrations" was released as a single and went to number one. And yet, there were musical themes planned that were really all going to feed into "Good Vibrations" as part of Smile. All the innovation of the single was to be nothing compared with what the album would do.

And then it all fell apart. Brian became obsessive about getting things just right. He worked and worked and worked on one track "Heroes and Villains" over and over and over again. Drug use and the weight of his genius were not a good mix, and he was coming apart at the seams. When McCartney played "A Day in the Life" for him, it was heartbreaking. Smile could have been THE album of 1967. And then Sgt. Pepper came out. He just sort of went insane. There was to be an "elements suite" to the album featuring pieces for Fire, Earth, Air and Water. Famously, Brian conducted the Fire sessions in a plastic fire chief's hat. He just went insane. To the point where he ultimately had a complete nervous breakdown. As years went by, he refused to get out of bed, getting fatter and fatter, ultimately reaching about 340 pounds by the early 1980s. The smoking, the cocaine, the enabling from his brother Dennis all took their toll on Brian and he wasn't the same for a good while. The group had to struggle on, trying to find out how to keep going and keep Brian involved when he wasn't himself. Brian Wilson's story is truly fascinating and horrifying. And inspired a great Barenaked Ladies song.

Come 1967, the Beach Boys did put out a record. As if in answer to the poor shell of what the project began as, it was called Smiley Smile. The title seems a joke, but appropriate for a diminishing of what the project was. This album included some songs from the failed project, but most stripped down re-recordings. Other Smile songs would continue to pepper the next five albums through Surf's Up, the title track being another Smile remnant. The promise of what could have been kept being dangled in front of us, and never in the full form it should have had.

Brian finally got back on his feet again, but the ghost of Smile never went away. For years it hounded the group. In the 1970s, the Beach Boys were signed to Reprise records with the hope that Smile would then be released, as part of the contract. When it wasn't delivered, $50,000 was deducted from the band's next advance. And so ultimately 2004 rolled around and Brian Wilson figured "enough is enough" and went ahead with a solo version. This recording is readily available. While it is basically a sense of what the album's sequence might have been, and gives the best idea yet of how the album would have sounded, it still isn't perfect. But it did win Brian Wilson his first Grammy award. It also led to Mike Love suing him, though the case was thrown out.

And yet, the song isn't quite over yet. The word this year is that the original Beach Boys Smile sessions will finally see the light of day with an official release this summer. Of course, the album was never completed, and some parts not recorded. We will never get the full 1967 Smile that existed in Brian's head. But we'll finally get to hear what all the fuss was about. A box set like this was rumored in the 1990s (several times), but never released. Finally, though, it is going to make some audiophiles smile. The album could have been an American masterpiece, fusing classical music with rock and roll and bridging that gulf from Sgt. Pepper to Tommy. At least now we can hear a hint of what might have been: the greatest rock album that never was.

Memorial Day

2011-05-30T09:01:00.003-04:00

I've decided to "re-run" what I wrote last Memorial Day, because I feel like something should be said and I don't think I can top myself.

I know everyone sees this as a day to party or see a movie or open the pool, but try to give some thought today about the dead. And not just the obvious ones. Yes we remember those who stormed Normandy or fell in 'Nam. We remember those who fought in the Pacific. We remember all those Americans who killed each other at Gettysburg and Antietam. But let's remember ALL of them. Remember the ones in Iraq and Afghanistan. Remember the ones in all other military conflicts abroad that don't earn the memorable "american war" status. Remember the ones in Korea. Remember the ones in World War I. Remember those in the War of 1812, the Spanish-American War, the Mexican-American War. Remember all who fell at the Alamo. Remember the American Revolution beyond the tea parties and committees; beyond frozen wooden teeth crossing the Delaware. Remember the men. Remember the women. Remember the white, the black, the hispanic, the American indian, the Asian, the arab, the gay, the straight, the old and the all-too-young. Remember those who died on the ground and those who died in the air. Those who fled sinking ships and those who went down with them. Those who stood against the British, and those who fought beside them. Remember the medics who tended the wounded, even at the cost of their own lives. Remember those who served and never saw combat, but have died with the distinction of serving our country however they could in whatever thankless job in time of crisis. Remember the typists, clerks and translators. Remember the recruiters and technicians. Remember the people at home who suffered loss, and the ones they wept for. Remember the Army, the Navy, the Marines, the Air Force, the Coast Guard, the minutemen, the militias, the National Guard. Remember them, and never forget.

"War must be, while we defend ourselves against a destroyer who would devour all; but I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend." -- Lord of the Rings, book IV, chapter 5

GLEE: "Prom Queen"

2011-05-28T17:42:00.004-04:00

I didn't take notes during this one, so I'm having to watch it again and do these live. However, I do recall that I really enjoyed the first half of this episode, and then was ridiculously angry during the second half.

Nice to return to the Ben Israel news show, which we haven't really seen since the season premiered.

Ha ha! Principal Figgis's favorite group is Air Supply! How did he even book them in the first place for prom? And does Air Supply really have anything better to do? I also want to say that I think TV is the only place now where proms have live music, and I think that's a shame. So he wants New Directions to perform.

At this point the show gets very "meta" and self-referential as Sue produces a list of the worst songs ever performed by the Glee club. She refuses to let these be played at prom. It's quickly evident that these are not all songs performed live, but just done on the show. I wonder if there's some sort of fan list floating around the internet which is the source of this list. Her number one is "Run, Joey, Run" which is indeed an awful song, however I liked it on the show because it was so intentionally bad. The mash-up of "Crazy in Love" and "Hair" is also mentioned, which I totally agree with. That was just an awful performance. I really want to know what else is on the list.

Once Mr. Shue tells the kids they are playing the prom, Rachel immediately wants to do "Run, Joey, Run". It's funny, even if Rachel would know that's a horrible choice for a school dance.

Mercedes doesn't have a date to the prom, and frankly it underlines the flaw in the writing this season. The intention last summer was to write Mercedes a black boyfriend, and that never happened. They were too busy making everyone gay. Anyway, Rachel has a plan, since she has no date either. She decides that she, Mercedes and Sam will all go to prom together and split the cost.

Kurt asks Blaine to prom, and he tells a moving story about how he and his (male) date were beaten up before a Sadie Hawkins dance at his old school. It helps give Blaine a little more backstory, as we knew he was bullied before and that's why he's at Dalton, but we never heard anymore about it. He is nervous about going to prom, but goes for Kurt. His prior bad experience is going to make him a little more worldly wise than naive Kurt in this episode.

Santana suggests that the Bullywhips provide security for Kurt leading up to prom so that nobody bullies him. She also makes a humourous reference to the Rolling Stones at Altamont, but one which the core audience of this show will not get.

Puck is worried because his street cred is in trouble since he's been dating Lauren and running for Prom King. He hopes to regain his (dis)honor by spiking the punch. Every year somebody does it, and this year Sue Sylvester is on guard. So knowing that he is the prime suspect, he asks Artie to help him do it, since he's not suspicious. Artie however is more set on getting Brittany to accept his apologies and go to prom with him.

Oh no, Jesse St. James is back. How I hate him. But his entrance is interesting here. Rachel begins a song, and he suddenly appears to finish the verse. They finish the song together. It's a rare a capella performance for this show (aside from the Warblers), and pretty good, though it's odd that the random tech kids painting sets in the auditorium suddenly can sing back-up with flawless harmonies. I wonder why they aren't in the glee club? Are the theater kids just protective of their own group? ...And why do we see so little of the drama kids at this school anyway? Turns out Jessie flunked out of college since he has no academic skill beyond show choir. Anyway, he has come to ask Rachel to prom.

Why does it seem like the Bullywhips are just Karovsky and Santana? That's not very practical.

Santana's protection of Kurt is more a means to promote herself as a prom queen candidate, and she's probably doing more harm than good shouting, "Teen gay! You are now clear to proceed without fear of violence!"

Artie apologizes to Brittany during home-ec class. He then tries to ask her to prom in song. But what does he sing? Stevie Wonder's "Isn't She Lovely" which as Mercedes points out is about a baby, and thus an inappropriate choice. Having said that, when Puck and and Sam come in with guitars and Finn starts playing drums on random baking implements, it becomes a nice musical moment. I wish there were more spontaneous instrumentation moments. Now with nothing to lose, Artie agrees to help Puck spike the punch.

Kurt has designed his own prom outfit, and it's a kilt. It's actually a really good look, I thought. So often teen gays on TV go the full cross-dress for prom. So I'm glad he isn't going in a dress, but in a masculine outfit that just happens to have unfortunate feminine undertones. He wouldn't be out of place at a Scottish wedding or something though. It's not particularly ostentatious. Even so, his father and Blaine both worry that he's going to draw too much negative attention, but of course Kurt will hear none of it. They are worried he's doing it all just to be noticed, and his attitude is "Of course I am!" That will come back to bite him later.

Kurt notices that people haven't been harassing him, so he believes that the student populace has evolved to indifference over bullying. There's a very nice scene with Kurt and Karofsky. I've been unhappy with the way he was written for most of the season, but they are getting better at humanizing him (though this may be prelude to actually having him come out, which has all kinds of subtextual ramifications which are the topic for a completely different dissertation). After he escorts Kurt to class, Kurt suggest maybe the time will come soon that he can come out. Side note: I don't see why the gays on this show have to be so pushy. Nobody pushed Santana to come out (except Brittany, and that was a bit different). But everyone keeps telling Karofsky he's gay and should deal with it. Anyway, he started crying right then and I was so afraid he was going to come out right then and there and be like, "I just love you so much, Kurt! It got me so confused!" Thankfully that didn't happen. Instead, we got a sincere heartfelt apology for all the bullying. It was a nice, unexpected moment.

Finn picks up Quinn for prom, having taken Rachel's advice on exactly the corsage to get. Quinn is impressed. Sam is trying to deal with his poor man's prom; he's wearing a bolo tie, just like Springsteen did on the cover of Tunnel of Love. Jesse is not impressed since that was over 20 years ago. Jesse expresses his condolences over Sam's family situation. He says he knows how hard the job market is out there, claiming, "I couldn't even get a job as one of those singing waiters at Johnny Rockets." Now, Johnny Rockets is a '50s style burger joint. We used to have one up here in the mall (until the mall was remodeled it was basically driven out). I don't ever remember there being singing waiters. I wonder if there are any in Ohio. Jesse suggests the best job for himself would be to open a dance studio to help out show choirs. Mercedes wisely questions whether there is enough demand to keep him in business.

And then we get to prom and the show goes downhill. The surest sign of the apocalypse is the first song that the glee club performs: the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad internet meme, Rebecca Black's "Friday." If you've not seen it or heard of it, consider yourself lucky. It's just some terrible lyrics about nothing until a chorus that repeats the words "It's Friday!", "partyin'", and "fun" because that's what weekends are all about, right? The song is bad, and not really in a so bad it's good way. I hate Glee for doing it. I hate them for trying to jump on a cultural bandwagon for something that deserves no more viral attention. I hate them for in a way lending the song credibility: Glee will be around for a long time and in a decade when all this context is lost, people will think this was a legitimate pop song. Now, there's a level at which it can work. Doing prom means doing songs the kids know and like. So that's an excuse to do it for prom, I guess, though a thin one. But they do it so seriously! With choreography and everything. And not in an over-the-top brilliant way that points out the song's absurdity. That was done (and no one can top it) by Jimmy Fallon and Stephen Colbert. So in the end I have to sit through the guys singing this terrible song that tries to rhyme "bowl" with "cereal". And that horrible moment with "tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterwarrrrrrds"? UGH!! I would so love to hear Stephen Sondheim rip it apart as an example of how NOT to write a song. Couldn't at least one person at prom roll their eyes at this? They are all into it? Really, I'd much rather have heard "Run, Joey, Run". It even prompts Brittany to say, "Best prom ever!" Is this supposed to be the writers being sardonic? We needed to Sue to add this to her list of "never again" songs. She didn't. And there's two minutes of my life I can't get back. Facetiously, why not just do the stinking Bed Intruder Song while they're at it.

Some dude is wearing a bluetooth headset in his ear at prom. Girl, you need to DUMP THAT PUNK!

Sam asks Mercedes to dance, just like she always wanted. Anyone think they're not going to end up together?

Sue catches Artie spiking the punch. So she takes him into a separate room to torture him with dental equipment until he reveals that Puck was behind it.

Meanwhile, Blaine is onstage singing with Tina and Brittany. It's nice that Tina gets to sing. Why doesn't she get to sing more? And for once Blaine is singing a song from a female perspective, with a lyric that says "since I was a little girl". ...I don't know whether this is a good thing or not. In the midst of it, Finn's jealousy of Rachel rears its ugly head. He thinks Jesse is getting to friendly in his dancing, so he picks a fight with him. Sue leaves Artie just in time to come and throw Finn and Jesse out of the prom. Quinn is thoroughly upset to have her Prom King candidate ousted.

The announcements for King and Queen come. Karofsky wins King. Santana assumes then that this means she wins Queen. But Principal Figgis announces that with an overwhelming majority of write-in votes, the winner is... Kurt. Kurt is embarrassed and leaves, with Blaine chasing after him. Several issues I have here. 1) This happens on TV all the time. You can't have a TV prom with a gay guy unless he ends up getting Prom Queen. 2) Why didn't Figgis look over the winners before announcing them? Or why did he read it and take it seriously? Doesn't he know that high school kids pull this sort of thing all the time? That they'll vote for losers or cast joke votes just to be jerks? Hasn't he seen Carrie? 3) Why should write-in votes be counted anyway? There was a weeks-long campaign going. Only those candidates should count, ESPECIALLY when the write-in winner is the BOY who not long ago left the school due to harrassment. Figgis should be fired for his incompetence (then again, maybe the writer of this episode should be for being so predictably television). 4) Did Karofsky win on his own merit, or was this a way to stick him with Kurt and thus the school has a big laugh at him too?

Kurt is crying in the hallway, hurt that he thought there was progress and it was nothing of the kind. Blaine says, "It was just a stupid joke," to which Kurt replies, "No it wasn't. All that hate, they were just too afraid to say it out loud so they did it by secret ballot." Sorry, I'm with Blaine here. It's people pulling a prank thinking they are being funny. It's a joke, a hurtful joke, but it's not some great announcement of their hatred of homosexuals. And didn't they warn Kurt? Didn't they say drawing attention to himself, showing up in a skirt was only going to backfire? But Kurt blames "their hate". Give me a break. Pull your head out of your kilted tuchus, Kurt and accept that if you are going to be loud and proud, you are going to be fair game. Not saying it's right. I mean, I think Carrie is the saddest movie I ever saw. But writing it off as just hateful homophobia on the part of the entire student body is nonsense.

Quinn and Rachel are in the bathroom and Quinn slaps Rachel for what she did to Finn. Quinn is thinking about leaving the school. Santana is mad she didn't win. It's all so much drama. Rachel even appreciates the drama of getting slapped in the face. Quinn is really terrified of what will happen when she doesn't have her looks anymore. Then Brittany basically implies that if Santana were open about being queer then she would have won. Um... what? We don't know who won outside of write-ins. No legitimate candidate won! This was a practical joke! We have no idea what Santana's standing was. Anyway, Kurt ends up doing the only thing he was ever really going to do: he goes back to the prom to get coronated.

Artie reveals that he didn't actually spike the punch; he just put lemonade in it. Sue has no reason to hold him, and lets him go.

Kurt returns to the prom, and we find that nobody has moved or done anything since our characters walked out. They were all just standing there for five minutes? Anyway, Kurt is crowned queen, and now it is time for him to dane with Karofsky. You can imagine how that is going to go over with Karofsky. And Kurt is a big stupid idiot who doesn't help matters by suggesting that this is the moment Karofsky should come out. Okay, leaving aside the fact that Karofsky himself said a few episodes back he wasn't sure he was gay (STOP telling other people they are gay, America! Is it THEIR sexuality or not??), is this the best thing to do after the supposedly hateful school just publicly humiliated you for being gay? You think the tough jock is going to not only dance with you but proclaim his gayness to the school? Yeah right. Just leave him alone, Kurt! IF he's gay, he'll deal with it on his own. And just to make this whole scene that much more embarrassing for everyone, including the viewer, the song they will dance to is Abba's "Dancing Queen". Get it? Dancing queen? Anyway, Karofsky walks out, and I can't blame him. So Blaine dances with Kurt instead.

And suddenly the girls are all happy again... when did THAT happen? Oh well, at least the little bit with the snapshots was nice.

But having said that, I was really ticked off at this episode. It started out so strong, but jumped off a cliff halfway through, making it one of the lesser episodes of this season. Not much in the way of musical performances, more didacticism buried under television cliché, and a sudden loss of the comedic wit of the first half. Really disappointing.

Favorite line: "He's so smart, I can't believe he flunked out of college!" Smitten and stupid Rachel, regarding Jesse St. James.

Songs in tonight's episode:

Rolling in the Deep

Isn't She Lovely?

Friday

Jar of Hearts

I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You

Dancing Queen

Next episode: Jesse St. James joins the team to help coach for Nationals, and it doesn't go over well.

Good move, CBS!

2011-05-26T11:21:00.002-04:00

Recently, Katie Couric announced she was stepping down from anchoring CBS Evening News. It was about time. She was never really a fit there, and I don't think audiences really bought her as a serious anchor. She was a daytime host, and that's where she belongs. Aside from the highly public Sarah Palin interview, she passed completely off America's radar; nobody cared about her. When she would do pieces on 60 Minutes, you could tell there was just a different energy, like a kid trying to play with the big boys. The marketing folks at CBS seem to have had a hard time with her too, working overtime to promote the show. She was put in suits, and glasses, and posed at computers. "Right, Katie, now start typing! Make it look like you're hard at work!" And I never bought it. So I have been curious to see who CBS would replace her with.

Well, I saw a commercial today on CBS that I thought was an ad for 60 Minutes, but was in fact a promo for the new Evening News host: Scott Pelley. Now, it's a well-made promo regardless; classy and everything that the Couric promos were not. No need to try fancy tricks. It's just Pelley at the desk. And I thought this was a wonderful choice. For years, Scott Pelley has been somewhat carrying 60 Minutes and doing many of its best segments as the old guard continues to age or dies off. While I disagree with him politcally, and thus with the bias that sometimes creeps its head into his pieces, Scott has my respect for being a guy of integrity and a good journalist. He knows what he's doing. What this will mean for the future of 60 Minutes, I don't know (but they'd be smart to keep Couric out of it). Probably Pelley will be present in a more limited capacity, and Steve Kroft will carry the show. But this is a big move for CBS, and a great way to rectify a mistake. What do you think of the decision?

GLEE: "Rumours"

2011-05-10T11:04:00.005-04:00

Glee does Fleetwood Mac! A whole episode devoted to one album and a good one at that! I'm so happy!!! As both the album title and the episode title suggest, the story will deal with rumors.

We open with Brittany's internet talk show, Fondue For Two. It's an amusing scene where she has a guest on and they talk about things while eating fondue. There are a lot of funny asides about how fondue isn't great to eat and questioning why people did it in the '70s. This scene also made me wonder whether Rachel was still posting YouTube videos of herself ever day (remember that in the pilot?). It's basically a gossip session, where Brittany says that Santana plays for two teams. She doesn't mean that she's lesbian, but that of course is how we all take it, and rumors begin buzzing around the school, which makes Santana very unhappy.

Sue meets with Terri in a coffee shop to plan ways to bring down the glee club. Sue is dressed as David Bowie, trying to be incognito. Why the heck does Sue think she can blend in in silly outfits? I thought the Grinch thing was bad enough, but she really seems to think this is working! She even changes outfits halfway through the scene. It's very unrealistic and cartoonish; the kind of thing you'd expect from Scrubs in its later years (like how JD can fit inside a backpack). The second disguise is Ann Coulter, which leads to a few funny moments.

Kristen Chenoweth's character, April Rhodes is back. Why? We finally got rid of Holly Holiday! Why must yet another guest star/ex-lover of Will's show up on this show? I want more Jessalyn Gilsig! Anyway, her all-white production of The Wiz was a flop, and now she's planning a Broadway musical based on her life. She wants Will to come be involved with it. He agrees to at least help her with it right now. Apparently this was all Terri's plot to get Will to leave the group.

Meanwhile, Sue's idea is to use the school newspaper to spread malicious rumors. The paper was shut down years ago, but now has been reinstated. Will talks about how good the school newspaper used to be. The paper is called the Muckraker. While it's an appropriate enough title for what it's doing now, can any school paper be considered good or credible with a name like Muckraker? What faculty member okayed that years ago?

Early on, the way they wrote Becky was kind of cute. She wasn't exploited, but people looked out for her and she wanted to be like them. It was endearing. But now she's more and more just Sue's lacky and acts mean. Like the Telly to Sue's Oscar the Grouch. And it's slowly getting to a level I can't take anymore. When Becky's going around spreading vicious rumors, that's NOT fun or cute. That's just bad. Are we to take it she doesn't know any better? And if so, then Sue is exploiting a handicapped child, and that is all kinds of wrong. Stop it, Glee.

Will's assignment for the group is to perform interpretations of the songs on Fleetwood Mac's classic Rumours album. I am so happy, as I've said. I hope this episode gets more kids into this album and good music, the same way Freaks and Geeks brought out the joy of the Dead's American Beauty.

And the first song to be performed was an obvious choice, "Dreams". It's been covered by The Corrs, it's a great song, and was okay on the show. Unfortunately, they had Chenoweth sing it with Mr. Shue and it's really not in her range or her style. The performance wasn't bad, and I thought it was a reasonable arrangement, but Kristen Chenoweth is no Stevie Nicks.

Following in the vane of the Rachel/Quinn fight back in "Original Song", there's a very nice scene between Artie and Brittany in this episode. Artie wants to know what her relationship is with Santana, because he's somewhat threatened and concerned she'll dump him. This turns into an argument, as Artie tries to tell her that Santana has been manipulating her. When he asks if she's cheating on him, she says no. But then follows that with "I can't cheat with her, she's a girl. Fooling around with her isn't cheating, it's just friends talking with their tongues super close." Santana told her this, among a few other things. So Brittany's bisexuality with Santana also comes down to Santana taking advantage of her. With her new status as "closet lesbian", might this be construed as an unflattering portrayal of lesbians? Doesn't it fit the old stereotype of the predatory lesbian? Anyway, Artie is genuinely concerned, but it comes out as "why are you so stupid?" Well, that is too much for Brittany. Despite putting it on her T-shirt last episode, she is hurt by being called stupid; especially because Artie was the only person who never called her that. I loved this scene not only for saying things about the Santana/Brittany relationship that needed to be said, but because each character was written from an understandable viewpoint, which is the best kind of dramatic writing. You totally understand how Brittany is hurt. But you also get where Artie is coming from. I also thought it was funny how Artie described himself as someone who "wears saddle shoes on legs that don't work." Buck up, Artie. You know who else wears saddle shoes on legs that don't work? A muppet named Bert.

The fight segues into a wonderfully surreal little musical number. Artie sings "Never Going Back Again," with Puck backing him up on guitar. Then as the song progresses, Sam joins in on his guitar. They just trail behind him as he wheels around the school. Then there's another guitar. And suddenly we cut to the auditorium and there are nine guys all playing guitars to accompany him. It was an interesting way to build the song, and I really liked the arrangement with all the guitars. A nice image and a nice performance.

Meanwhile, something's going on with Sam. Rachel asked him to the prom, be he refused, saying he wasn't going. Rachel and Finn take it on themselves to go on a stakeout to find out what's going on. They follow him to a motel where he meets Kurt. The next day, he comes to school wearing Kurt's jacket. Rumors circulate that Sam might be gay and that Kurt is cheating on Blaine. This is an interesting development, since the season began with the idea Sam might be gay. We were told then that he wasn't. And he's not, as we'll soon discover. But I thought that was a sensible rumor.

During the stakeout, Rachel says, "This is just like Hart to Hart." It's a funny reference, but I'm wondering whether Rachel would really make it. I don't think anyone of her generation even knows what Hart to Hart is. That show went off the air long before she was even born. I suppose it's possible that she watched reruns with her dads in syndication, but that is suspect to me too. I'm often surprised that this generation doesn't know who Punky Brewster is. And that series both in its original run and syndicated reruns is more recent than Hart to Hart. Maybe she's been watching the DVDs? Anyway, it smacks of writers making references for themselves.

Santana sings a song for Brittany. If you know the Rumours album at all, then you know it was going to be "Songbird." I don't know why she constantly has to sing these girl on girl love songs to Brittany. But more than that, I find it a tad hypocritical that she can sing about the girl she likes, but Blaine, Kurt and the Warblers have never sung about a boy. Even when they did that song in the Gap to a boy, it was about a girl. The song was fine, but I noticed Santana's voice cracked during it. Not the best performance. But it's a good song. Brittany suggests Santana come on Fondue For Two and come out to the internet world to put an end to the rumors around the school. Santana ultimately backs out.

The hurtful things in the Muckraker don't go unnoticed, but it doesn't stop these guys from continuing to print it. And who's on the paper? Basically the same group that was in the heckling club (with a few more added). So I guess Ms. Holiday's lecture about hateful words went in one ear and out the other. Or they just don't consider gossip the same thing.

Another night of staking out the motel finds Quinn meeting with Sam. This concerns Finn. He wonders if she is cheating on him. Quinn saw him and Rachel and wonders the same about him. They don't know if they can trust each other, and this leads into a wonderful duet of "I Don't Wanna Know." This might have been my favorite of the episode. You can read the sarcasm and "acting" on their faces during performance. I like that they just don't seem into it, which is something that's surprisingly never happened during any assigned song on this show yet.

There's something that's been confusing me for some time, and I wasn't sure I had it right until this episode. Mr. Shue says that Quinn has no say over who pairs up for Nationals because, "Vocal Adrenaline doesn't need any help from us." That makes it clear that Vocal Adrenaline is competition for them at Nationals. ...WHY? I don't understand how this competition works. Vocal Adrenaline is a local school group. One they competed against at last year's regionals. This tells me they are in the same region. So was there more than one "regional" competition site? Why would more than one school from the same region be going to Nationals? Or shouldn't there at least be one more level before that, like States? It all makes no sense to me and seems concocted so that they had time to win Regionals before facing off with their nemesis again. Plus the whole Kurt at Dalton story. I want Ryan Murphy and the writing team to really work out the logic behind these competitions because to me it is unlikely that Vocal Adrenaline should be there with New Directions.

April and Will do a little performance of an original song from her new Broadway show about herself. I have no idea what the song is titled, so I'm calling it "My Name is April Rhodes." It's delightfully overwrought and silly, recalling last year's storyline about Will and April. It gets Will seriously considering leaving the school for Broadway. Ultimately Will decides he can't abandon the kids like that when they need to prepare for Nationals. But can I just ask why he can't do this over the summer? Heck, Nationals are in New York. Why can't he do a few performances while he's there? Or at least help at rehearsals.

Rachel performs her "favorite Fleetwood Mac song", "Go Your Own Way." Hey, that's my favorite too!

The truth about Sam is finally revealed when he's pressured by the group to explain what's going on. Turns out his father lost his job, they lost their home, and they've been living in that motel. Kurt was giving him some clothes, and Quinn was helping him watch his younger siblings. Now everyone feels like jerks. I like this story because it brings the recession home to this group. Living in a motel stinks. I was also effected by this bit having recently been forced out of my own home. I don't live in a motel, but were it not for a few lucky happenings I probably would be, or worse. I like Sam's siblings; they're cute kids. So the money issue is why Sam isn't going to the prom. Though this also feels like Saved By the Bell to me, and I hope the next episode doesn't have a "Zack and Kelly's Prom" moment where Sam shows up in a sweatshirt and dances with Quinn outside the gym.

And Sam's siblings get to join the glee club in their final Fleetwood Mac performance. I knew they were saving this one for last: "Don't Stop." The theme song of Bill Clinton's presidential campaign. And it's still a great song. After the bummer of a bombshell, they had to end on a positive note, didn't they?

I was very pleased for the most part with the episode. I thought there were some strong dramatic scenes and some nice bits of absurd observational humor, like the fondue thing. Most of all it was surprising to see a theme show actually work well. I was so glad they devoted a show not just to one group but to one album. It was really nicely done. Just a shame they couldn't work "Second Hand News" in anywhere, and that Terri once again didn't get much to do.

Songs in tonight's episode:

Fondue For Two theme song

Dreams

Never Going Back Again

Songbird

The Chain

I Don't Wanna Know

My Name is April Rhodes

Go Your Own Way

Don't Stop

Next episode: I'm bummed that I'm still an episode behind in these postings. Anyway, the next episode is the Junior Prom. There's a lot to like and a lot to dislike. But all in due time.

GLEE: "Born This Way"

2011-05-09T10:02:00.011-04:00

This episode was aired in a 90-minute slot, though the actual show was only ten or twelve minutes longer than normal. So while it was nice to have an extended episode, it also meant there were so many commercial breaks. Scene, commercial break. Song, commercial break. It was very distracting.

The group was put into dance boot camp (or "booty camp") to improve their dancing for Nationals. This had nothing to do with the rest of the episode, but I hope they deliver on that promise. During this dance training, Finn accidently hits Rachel in the face and breaks her nose. That was pretty funny, and carries the thread that Finn can't dance, which will continue in this episode. ...Although he seemed to do fine in Acafellas and at his mom's wedding...

Rachel's doctor looks at her nose and asks if she'd like rhinoplasty, since he's going to be fixing the nose anyway. He says that nose jobs are "like a rite of passage for Jewish girls", which I found hilarious. He also suggests that it might improve her singing voice. So Rachel begins contemplating whether or not to shrink her schnoz. I thought this story was handled really well, even though we the audience know that she was never going to go through with it. That would entail the actress actually getting rhinoplasty, which would not happen.

The nose issue leads Mr. Shue to tackle the whole body image issue. The show has mostly avoided this, except in the matter of weight a couple times. And I'm glad they kept it broad. Everyone has something they don't like about themselves. Finn says he doesn't, and Santana

suggests his weird nipples (hee hee). So Shue tells the group to learn to embrace that part of themselves they don't like. They are to sing a song about it, and boil it down to a word that Emma will then silk-screen onto a T-shirt. They will then all wear their T-shirts during a performance of Lady Gaga's "Born This Way". It starts out as a nice enough idea, but the specifics are going to cause complications later on, so I want to be clear on exactly how Mr. Shue phrases the assignment:

"I'm telling you, the thing you would most like to change about yourself is the most interesting part of you."

and later Emma describes the T-shirt: "We will then use this letter press to write a word or phrase that best describes the thing about you that you're the most ashamed of, or you would like to change but you can't because you were born that way."

As an example, Will had Emma do a shirt for herself. He wanted her to write OCD to help her come to grips with her disorder and recognize she has a problem. ...But that's not really the assignment, is it? At least not how they described it above. Her OCD is something he DOES want her to change because it's supposedly harming her.

What Ms. Pillsbury does put on her shirt is the word Ginger. She talks about how she is accepting being a redhead. While the moment is light and silly, and Will is disappointed, I was actually very glad the show did this. One of the more common threads of hatred based on looks these days is the "ginger hating". To write off redheads as "gingers" or "daywalkers" or other terminology that makes them seem like a subspecies of monsters. Yes, some of them are not the most appealing to look at. But that's true of everyone. And this is another line of bullying that's lead to teen suicides and such. Generally nice people have no problem with this kind of nomenclature. It's used all over Facebook, propagated on South Park and I'm glad the series addressed it, if only briefly.

Meanwhile, all the girls want to be Prom Queen. Santana wants it, but doesn't know how to beat Quinn. Then there's this awkward moment when she realizes Karofsky might be gay. She now refers to herself as a "closet lesbian" (again, I don't buy it), and suddenly she has "amazing gaydar" and spots Karofsky right away. No way. Firstly, I don't buy "gaydar" anyway. But the show so far has always avoided it. I love that Kurt doesn't seem to have one, and suspected Sam (was wrong) then wondered about all the Warblers. Now Santana has one? And not only that, she's been gay for like two weeks and suddenly everything is clear? GIVE ME A BREAK. She decides to join forces with Karofsky. If she can get him to apologize and get Kurt to come back to the school, she would be a hero to the glee club and get their votes for queen. She tells Karofsky that they will pretend to be dating so that neither of them is "outed", and make nice to Kurt. Though to sell this she talks about "beards", that is, gay people who date to appear straight. "Like the Roosevelts," says Santana. Hold the phone! No matter what correspondence might have been found from Eleanor Roosevelt, FDR was NOT a beard. It might be funny to a writer, but today's teen who has no clue about American history is going to take it seriously. They were cousins in love. Deal with it.

We also learn that Lauren Zizes was a pageant toddler. That's an interesting backstory for her. And it allows the show to take a quick stab at the whole toddlers in tiaras thing. She hasn't worn a tiara since, and thus also desperately wants to be Prom Queen. She makes it her mission to destroy Quinn and run on the "I'm just like you" angle.

Quinn goes with Rachel to her doctor because Rachel essentially wants Quinn's nose. They take some photographs to do some mock-ups of what Rachel's new nose might look like. This leads into a duet. The girls sing "Unpretty" mashed with "I Feel Pretty" and I really enjoyed it. For the arrangement, and the vocals, but also because it went back to a more stylized visual look for the song. It segued into their performing for the group. I like when the show does this kind of thing of which they used to do more. Also, some of the stuff Quinn sings hints at later revelations in the episode. Just a really strong song sequence overall.

When the show comes back from commercial, there's a scene between Quinn and Finn. I love the way they shot it, from the lockers' point of view. Besides the fact that it's just different, it puts each character into their own little box, signifying how the argument puts them in separate places. It was very creative.

Finn and Mike Chang perform "I Gotta Be Me." I really enjoyed this one as well. The conceit was basically Mike Change "teaching" Finn to dance during the number. It was brilliant.

Tina meanwhile has been wearing blue contact lenses because she doesn't like her eye color. Mike calls her a "self-hating Asian" and she argues there are no Asian sex symbols and she's just trying to be fashionable. First, I would argue that's not true. Maybe there are few Asian-American sex symbols, but to say there are no Asian sex symbols can't be true. What about Lucy Liu? Anyway, she decides she should be that first sex symbol herself. She's decided to live by the philosophy "Be the change you want to see in the world." This is one of those things people think sounds great and makes good inspirational poster copy, but is terribly impractical. I want to see all kinds of change in the world, but I'm constantly told it's never going to happen and I should just get over myself. If I just decide to "be" how I want things, it

doesn't get me anywhere. Nor does one person being a certain way generally have any effect on the global society. It's overreaching idealism.

I'm still confused about Will. He's trying to make Emma accept that she has OCD, but he wants her to change because of it. He wants her to get past it. But that's not the same thing at all. He started this whole thing talking about what OTHERS want to change about themselves but shouldn't. Now he's talking about what others DON'T want to change but SHOULD. He goes on by trying to make her eat unwashed fruit. This is torture and it's not funny. "I'm just trying to help you get better." For some reason, this notion is prevalent throughout our world and I'm sick of it. Just expose someone to something hard enough and they'll get over it? No, that's torture. You see it on talk shows where guests have weird phobias, and then are tormented before an audience on national TV. Stop it.

The episode keeps wanting at this point to say you should never change your body and love who you are. Plastic surgery is wrong. But what about the Soleil Moon Frye scenario? For those who don't know, Ms. Frye played Punky Brewster in the 1980s. As a young girl she developed rather large breasts. She was unable to get acting work past Punky for awhile because she looked too young for older roles, but her breasts made her look to old for younger roles. Add to that the back pain, etc. and ultimately Frye had breast reduction surgery. It's a well known story. Was she wrong to do that? I mean, I always thought she was cute, but I understand her reasoning. She's still a pretty woman. Though I wish she'd stop straightening her hair and let it be the way it was when she was younger. The straight black hair thing looks weird on her. But that's just me and my opinion. It's her hair. My point though is that she didn't do it out of mere vanity, and there has to be an exception to this "you can't change yourself" rule. And they will

get to that later in this episode.

Karofsky agrees to Santana's plan, and thus the bullying arc comes full circle. The glee club is vocal against Karofsky trying to get Kurt back and they don't trust him. But Principal Figgis tells them to hear him out while he apologized. Karofsky says he didn't mean to be so awful to Kurt. He says Santana showed him stuff on the internet about teen suicides due to bullying (they've finally mentioned this on the show, which we all know was a primary reason for this entire story arc), and he says it scared him straight (so to speak). Now, did Santana really do this? We don't know. But it's possible. If so, it may be that Karofsky really has had some sort of epiphany. And to make sure what happened with Kurt never happens again, Santana and Karofsky have begun a new program: the Bullywhips. They are like a student police squad that stops bullying when they see it start. Figgis says that incidents of bullying have gone down since they began (though how much raw data can there be if they just started?). Several points to make about this: first, wasn't Sue Sylvester going to do exactly that before Kurt left? Second, giving students that kind of power can be dangerous. Third, it won't stop cyber-bullying, unless Bullywhips police known bullies' Facebook pages and such. And really, what kind of a name is that? I get that it's a pun on bullwhip, but let's just say that if Karofsky wants to appear straight, walking the halls in a beret and calling himself a Bullywhip isn't doing him any favors.

Kurt and his dad meet with Karofksy and his. Burt Hummel is suspicious of the whole thing. Mr. Karofsky makes the point that he didn't side with his son in the last meeting, but that this new contrite David is more the boy he raised. It's a fair point. Kurt asks to speak with Karofsky alone. He asks what the angle is. Karofsky reveals that it was Santana's idea to make her Prom Queen. But Karofksy also seems more mellow than he has, and I'm glad because I liked the one we saw in "Sue Sylvester Shuffle" who wasn't a one-dimensional character. Kurt agrees to come back to the school, but also says they have to start a chapter of PFLAG at the school. Really? Why aren't the Bullywhips enough? Why does it HAVE to be solely about the whole gay angle yet again? ...And why is there a public school at this point that doesn't have a PFLAG chapter?

You'd think outspoken Kurt would have done that a long time ago. Before these moments, Kurt tells his father that he believes Karofsky is sincere. But does he? We are never really left with any certainty, because he was suspicious there was an angle. I hope we get to see a normal Karofsky now.

There was a funny bit when Kurt found out about Santana's plan and called her "a Latina Eve Harrington." When Karofsky says, "Who?" Kurt says, "Honestly, if you're going to be gay, you have got to know the reference!" Karofsky counters, "I'm not even sure I am gay." And that's a very important piece here. I'm glad they went there, but I'm also afraid the show only means it in the temporary Blaine sort of way. I very much want the show to decide he is straight because it's just too cute otherwise. I didn't like the "closeted gay being the gay-bashing bully" angle this season. Though after Santana suddenly decided she was gay, and Blaine confirmed it for

himself, I'm worried. Already in an earlier scene Santana wrote Karofsky's future, calling him a "late in life gay" who will only fully come out in his middle age after he's married. Is it so bad to think maybe he's just a teenager with confused feelings who is not actually gay? I was at least glad the show shied away from the "don't you tell anyone I'm gay" Karofsky and gave us the "I'm not really sure" more honest Karofsky.

So now, with the Warblers having served their purpose and lost Regionals, Kurt has no reason to be at Dalton, and the show moves him back to McKinley. And therefore, I was unfortunately proven right. The entire Karfosky bullying arc was just a deus ex machina to get Kurt away from the school for artificial drama at Regionals. Once that function was served, all these threads were wrapped up neatly and everything's back to normal. I hate transparent writing like that.

Kurt's transfer is official at noon. So is it like a half-day or something? Why noon that day? And furthermore, why is the entire group from Dalton there to say goodbye? Don't they have school? Or maybe it's a weekend? Also on the subject of Kurt's fashion sense, I didn't understand his outfit in this scene. He's wearing these black biker gloves and a top hat. In the same ensemble. I'm sorry, even Tim Gunn would tell him it doesn't work.

Kurt saying, "I say old bean, shall we ride our Harleys now, what what?"

The Warblers perform for Kurt in the McKinley courtyard. I would like to know why there is a piano out there. I mean, there's drums and other instruments too, so I guess this was planned as a surprise for Kurt, but moving a whole piano outside? The song they sing is "Somewhere Only We Know", proving once and for all that the Warblers must listen to the same satellite radio station that plays in my local Dunkin' Donuts. Pretty much every song they've done I hear twice a week in there (just today it was "Misery"). I wonder if they'll ever do any matchbox twenty.

I guess, based on the theme of this episode, the show has finally come down on the side that gays are indeed "born that way". I have this itchy thing in my brain that objects to that kind of simple determinism. The kind that says that because your parents were drunks you are predisposed to be an alcoholic too (basically, you're an alcoholic before you ever take a drink), or that your soul is stained with original sin. I have a real problem with what I'm going to call biological destiny as a construct. At least, in it's "this is always the case" form. And so far in the episode everything else has been a physical trait, with the exception of Emma's OCD (which she suggests she wasn't born with, but developed early) and Finn's dancing. Which also brings up a question: was Finn born that way? And if not, should he be putting that on his shirt? Because the assignment was to pick something you can't change because you were born that way. But he can be a better dancer, right? Or was he born with some sort of dyspraxia which makes him incapable of dancing as well as others? ...Do you see what a slippery slope this whole "acceptance" theme becomes?

While I'm thinking of it, I think it's interesting for the episode to focus on acceptance when the glee club had such a hard time accepting Karofsky in this episode. Oh! And that argues yet another point! What if Karofsky the bully was "born that way"? What if he was genetically predisposed to be a sociopath or something? Do we just let him embrace that, accept it and try to avoid him? See why this sort of liberal pop philosophy doesn't work in reality??

With Kurt back in the school, he performs a little "I'm glad to be back" number for the glee club. It's from the Andrew Lloyd Weber musical version of Sunset Boulevard, which is just perfect. This choice was really smart and appropriate as it lyrically expresses everything Kurt wants to say, but is also exactly the sort of song a person like Kurt would pick. Add to that the role being originated by Patti LuPone, who the character adores, and you have another great number. The one odd thing is how it starts with Kurt walking through the auditorium. There's a set there for something, but we don't know what. It's like waves, and students are painting it, but it's also moving. Why are they making the waves move when they are trying to paint?

One of the most interesting dramatic revelations on this show occurs in this episode when Lauren uncovers something about Quinn. I always thought that Quinn was an odd, TV-sounding name, and we learn that it is not her real name! Her real name is Lucy. Quinn is her middle name. There's a whole backstory for Quinn that's revealed here. She was a fat, ugly middle-school kid named Lucy who all the children would tease. It tormented her so much that finally she begged her father to let her change her appearance. She got a nose job (hence her perfect nose), got super athletic and dropped the weight (there's also a nod to the cheerleaders' awful liquid diet from last season) and changed her name. And Quinn doesn't regret any of it, because now she's beautiful and people like her. It's a very moving element, and much more organic to the story, which is why in this case the bullying theme works. ...Though part of me was annoyed that everything once again came down to bullies, it made an interesting point. The photograph we saw of young Lucy was a little much. It felt to me like it had been badly Photoshopped. Is this a real picture of a young Diana? In the photo, her hair looked red or brown. Are we to believe Quinn's blonde hair is a dye-job? Because I've never believed that, and I think Kurt would have spotted it. That part bothered me, but otherwise I thought it was a very interesting choice. While there's a sense of ret-con behind it -- why would a Bible-thumber like her father allow his daughter plastic surgery? -- it never felt like it wasn't her character. Santana's bisexuality or whatever for me came out of left field. This backstory on the other hand seems organic. Quinn, the popular cheerleader to whom popularity was everything, fits this model and I liked that.

Lauren Zizes really hits below the belt by putting up posters all over the school with the young Lucy on them. Quinn is understandably traumatized. I feel really bad for her. Also, I think we can definitely agree that Lauren's actions here TOTALLY qualify as bullying! Where the heck are the Bullywhips??

The gang still wants to convince Rachel not to change her nose. They continually invoke the name of Barbra Streisand to make their point. This ultimately leads to them using a flash mob at the mall to sell her on embracing her nose. The show did this sort of thing once before last year, but it was a dream. This time it's real.

Emma's OCD is really bucking the whole "born this way, embrace it" theme as I've said before. But it's good for the character to be doing more about her anxieties on her own. So far the series has only shown her make progress through the love of a man. Now we see her in professional counseling. These scenes are difficult, and I think were written well to reflect both characters in the room. In the end, it is suggested Emma start medicating to keep her impulses under control.

Lauren had hoped to bring Quinn down a peg, show that her perfection was a fraud, and thus earn votes for the Zizes Prom Queen campaign. I'm glad that her plan backfired splendidly (though I knew it would). The regular girls who were on Lauren's side now decide to vote for Quinn since she's not only beautiful, but also is really one of them deep down. I'm also glad Zizes apologized to Quinn for what she did to her.

There's a scene between Brittany and Santana where Brittany has made her T-shirt for her. It says "Lebanese" though she means lesbian. I'm not going to repeat everything I've said about this storyline. But Santana is still hurt that Brittany is with Artie.

Finally we come to the capper of the end of the show, with the performance of "Born This Way". Some of their shirts are brilliant (Sam's is Trouty Mouth), others are not so much. For example, Brittany's is funny, saying "I'm With Stoopid" with an arrow pointing up to herself. ...But was she born stupid? Is that something she can't change? I guess it's okay to embrace yourself, but it's not quite how things were set out at the episode's start. Also, Kurt's shirt says "Likes Boys". Well, we know that. But this seems just a way to further advertise sexual orientation in the mix (and as an element of the song), and not part of the assignment. Again to quote Emma, "The thing you're most ashamed of, or would like to change but you can't." Does that fit Kurt to you? Because Kurt has never seemed to me to be ashamed of his homosexuality. Now, Santana in this regard actually does fit the assignment, and we see her sitting in the auditorium wearing the "Lebanese" shirt she had previously rejected, though she doesn't join the performance. I also don't get Mercedes' shirt. It reads "No Weave!" Now, is she proclaiming that she has no weave and is mad about it? Or mad that she was born without a weave and thus wears one? Why does it have an exclamation point? I get that it wants to ride on the whole issue of black hair that's in the popular mindsight now, but I'm not sure where it stands in relation to it. Though I guess nice to see it wasn't about her size.

The performance of the song itself was alright. It was better Gaga than the previous Gaga episode, though I don't exactly like that a whole episode was written around a song that just came out. Considering how television works, this was probably penned immediately on the song's release. As I've said before, riding on what's hot now is a slippery slope. Anyone remember the irrelevance that was TaTu some years ago? It's not a fabulous song, but works enough for the theme. I also think that the show's version helped the song's weaknesses. Santana's malaprop shirt makes the mention of Lebanese in the song carry more weight, and also overshadow the "orient" lyric that follows. That lyric has caused some recent controversy for Gaga, as people find the term oriental offensive these days. Personally, I've never really understood why, since its more appropriate to me to the region than Asian which covers a whole continent. I mean, Saudis are "Asian", right? So the Lebanese thing (Lebanese! Also Asian!) does take focus off that. But also, the lyric works on its own for Tina and her storyline about embracing her Asian eyes.

In the end, Emma finally does appear in a T-shirt that reads "OCD", and as I've iterated above, I really think that goes against the point.

Oh, and Rachel doesn't get the nose job. Obviously.

On the whole, this was a mostly solid episode if not fantastic. The longer running time helped provide more good to even out the predictable or aggravating. I applaud some of the more interesting visuals, the final coffin nail in the stupid Karofsky storyline, and the Quinn story. While the episode thematically was all over the place, well-intentioned but unfocused, the song choices and performances were strong. I don't think there was one that I really hated, which is rare for this season. Actually, the flash mob wasn't the best, but wasn't awful. And no Sue Sylvester at all. I guess having her berate everyone goes against the love fest of this episode. Though I didn't exactly miss her. Still, that meant delaying Terri's return until next episode.

Songs in tonight's episode:

I Feel Pretty/Unpretty

I Gotta Be Me

Somewhere Only We Know

As If We Never Said Goodbye

Barbra Streisand

Born This Way

Next episode: I'll be finally caught up, and just in time when I review "Rumours". Terri's back, and Glee takes on Fleetwood Mac! Now THAT's what I'm talking about!

GLEE: "Night of Neglect"

2011-05-03T08:30:00.002-04:00

The glee club needs money badly for their trip to New York. Well, of course they do. Maybe if they hadn't spent all that money on the Rocky Horror show that never happened... And wasn't Nationals the plan from the beginning? Why hasn't the group done more to raise money throughout the year? At least Finn did that kissing booth thing.

Not only that, but the academic team, the Brainiacs (consisting of Artie, Mike Chang, Tina and ...Brittany) won their match and can't go to finals because there's no money. Mike is ticked off that nobody in the group even cares about the Brainiacs. So Mr. Shue decides they will be raising money to help the Brainiacs TOO. How does he suggest raising money? Selling salt water taffy. Sure, try that. Why don't they sell marijuana-laced cupcakes like last year?

Holly Holiday tells Mr. Shue that the candy idea is stupid. She suggests a fundraising night of singing. And because the clubs are so neglected, she suggests a theme of neglected artists. A "night of neglect". I was intrigued by this idea because focusing on neglected artists is a great thing for this show.

Sunshine finally returns. I was wrong about how many episodes it would take, but she finally reappeared. She wants to sing at the benefit because she considers herself a neglected artist, since she's tiny and Asian. New Directions is worried about her being a spy (sure, but Blaine you all trust implicitly...), but recognize her Twitter fan base will get butts in the seats and bring in more money.

Meanwhile Sue Sylvester has had it with the group and decides to bring them down. So she forms her own league of supervillains. First, the drama coach who was fired last year. Second, the coach of Vocal Adrenaline. Third, Shue's ex-wife, Terri! I'm so glad Terri's back! Sue gives herself the code name General Zod. Amusing enough. I was hoping she'd say "Kneel before Zod" at some point, but never did.

Mercedes knows just which neglected artist she wants to use: Aretha Franklin. Hold it, Aretha neglected? The first one they pick? She's called on it, saying the Queen of Soul is not neglected, but Mercedes counters that she is by the glee club. Great, so by that logic just about anyone from before 1990 is a neglected artist. By that logic, can we PLEASE get some Dylan up in this joint?

Sunshine auditions for the group with a performance of "All By Myself". It's fine. It's so weird how she loses her accent when she sings. But now I'm really confused; is this a focus on neglected ARTISTS, or songs about being neglected?

Emma has regressed to her OCD ways because Carl left her. Well, of course he did. The show doesn't want them together, that was just a complication. I liked Stamos on the show though.

Sue sends the Vocal Adrenaline guy to seduce Holly Holiday, thus rattling Mr. Shue. It doesn't work. Meanwhile, the gay ex-coach forms a heckling club at Sue's behest. Several students are called in (tricked into thinking they are getting homework help) to be hecklers at the event. These include a football player, Jacob Ben Israel and Becky. Really? Becky? Isn't that warped?

The Vocal Adrenaline guy pulls Sunshine from performing at the Night of Neglect. This means all her Twitter people won't show up. Everyone is worried.

During all of this Mercedes has been playing diva and acting insane. She wants the final solo spot, but it goes to Rachel. Lauren suggests that for Mercedes to get her way, she has to act like a selfish pop star, demanding impossible things. So she demands humidifiers and a puppy to dry her hands on. She demands green M&Ms. The club thinks it's nuts.

Finally, the big night has arrived and can I just say it looks like nobody came. Did they even advertise this thing? At first I thought I was watching a dress rehearsal because the only people there were the hecklers and Kurt. Seriously, nobody else showed up? Figgis couldn't attend a school event? No other faculty or family members? I call shenanigans on that. That is RIDICULOUS. They had a good turn out last year with the night with Kristen Chenoweth. So there's no reason to have under 10 people in attendance. Why even HAVE the thing at that point? They were just banking on Sunshine, who pulled out at the last minute? Puck rightly suggests calling it off, but Finn reminds them, "What's that saying? The show's gotta go all over the place."

The only folks who did show up are Kurt and Blaine. Of course, they have to drag Kurt back into this show. I was enjoying an episode without Warbler interruption for once (note they didn't bring any of their Warbler friends). In the hallway, Santana, Kurt and Blaine run into Karofsky. First of all, what time of day is this? Is it just before the event or are they just hanging around all afternoon? Is Karofsky going? Was he staying late after school?? Anyway, Santana stands up to Karofsky on Kurt's behalf, and it's sort of implicit that her new-found lesbianism is behind some of that. Funny how nobody is cowering when there are three of them. I found this scene aggravating because first of all Karofsky is just there for this scene for no reason. Secondly, it's like subtextually he's defeated by a queer army.

So the performance is upon us. Mercedes is hiding in her car, refusing to do anything until her demands are met. Tina is the first person to sing. She comes out to do her solo and is heckled badly, till she cries. I like when Tina gets to sing on the show, and I hate that it's always interrupted. So she's crying backstage from all the booing and such. Seriously, why is NOBODY else in attendance?

Mr. Shue tries to quiet the hecklers with taffy. Next up is Mike Chang dancing. He's performing to a Jack Johnson song. This entire sequence is so totally perfect. I love that of all the group, Mike Chang always totally seems to "get it" when everyone else doesn't. Jack Johnson is a perfect neglected artist choice. Just last week for a display at work I suggested Jack Johnson and the person said, "Who?" Mike's routine is a lot of fun. It shows a high Gene Kelly influence, to the point where he's dancing with a mop. Contemporizing Gene Kelly? Loved it.

So intermission comes quickly (since Mercedes refuses to perform), and Holly has a chat with the student hecklers. The whole scene becomes a didactic speech about how easy it is to insult someone's work in this culture of anonymous internet heckling. That's right, she plays the internet card. Apparently, the show wants us to believe that posting how much last night's episode of "Hellcats" was awful is the same as shouting boos at people during live performance. While I guess there's a tiny correlation, the scene was terribly preachy. It felt less truly motivated by drama and more like Ryan Murphy felt he hadn't covered cyber-bullying in all his previous "bullying is bad" hours of this show (am I bullying you right now, Mr. Murphy? How about what you had to say about the Kings of Leon??).

Rachel goes out to talk to Mercedes. She tells Mercedes about the kind of woman Aretha Franklin was and how she got the name Queen of Soul. She praises her singing ability and says acting like a diva doesn't make you one, basically. Mercedes gives up on the act, which she never really wanted to pull anyway, and agrees to come back. Rachel is going to let her sing the final number.

But first, the next singer up is... Miss Holly Holiday. That's right, she gets to sing too. And at this point there is pretty much nobody in the audience since some of the heckler kids have gone home and Sue is talking to her heckling coach. It's basically just Will, which makes the scene less subtle (I'm sure Blaine and Kurt are there too). She's essentially singing the song direct to Will. It's all about how she's not the kind of person to stay tied down and stuff. I am so over her, but I'm glad this seems to indicate she'll be leaving. I also didn't think much of this performance. Paltrow sounded kind of nasally to me, and I didn't like they way she said "turning tables".

Any subtlety of the scene with her singing right to Will about how she can't stay was quashed when she outright says so later. She is leaving and they break up (hooray!). But then she has to say, "Didn't you hear my song?" Argh!! I hate when the show feels like it has to connect the dots for us! Trust your audience!

Finally, we get to see Mercedes perform her Aretha song. She is dressed a lot like Aretha. Love the dress on her, and the flower in her hair. But wait... suddenly there's a gospel choir singing back-up for her! Why is New Directions not singing the back-up? Because they have to watch her sing. But what a shoddy event this was! They never planned a group number, or back-up vocals at all? They do not deserve to call themselves an award-winning glee club. Mercedes' performance is very good. I just don't understand where all these people came from. We never saw them waiting in the wings. Did they pay to attend? Wouldn't it have been civil for these 25 singers to have been sitting in the audience cheering? WHAT THAT HECK?? That's just bad writing, staging something solely for effect that has no logic behind it.

As expected, they raised no money. But luckily, the Aretha song moved Pink Dagger, our heckling friend, and so he decided to give them the money they need. It's drug money, of course. Isn't it always him and his drugs that bails them out in situations like this? But at least the event had that one positive to it; they got the money after all.

Sue is of course terribly angry with her team, and turns to the one member she hasn't used yet: Terri, who she calls Honey Badger. I was really disappointed to be teased with her appearance, only to have her disappear for the rest of the episode. I hope that her next appearance is worth it.

What a waste of an episode. A benefit concert that is nothing of the sort. Terri's appearance, but no real Terri appearance. More stinking Holly Holiday (though at least she's gone now). And to top it off, a theme of neglected artists that mostly wasn't. How hard is it to come up with neglected artists? What about Donovan, The Corrs, They Might Be Giants, Don McLean, Evanescence, Bree Sharp, I don't know. The list goes on. When we consider artists neglected by this show, it gets even longer. On that front, I was pretty disappointed. Though I give them credit for Tina doing a song by Lykke Li.

Songs in tonight's episode:

All By Myself

I Follow Rivers

Bubble Toes

Turning Tables

Ain't No Way

Favorite line: "It's drug money, but it's actually a fantastic way to launder it."

Next episode: Good, 90 minutes. Bad, more Lady Gaga.

Obama and Osama

2011-05-02T10:45:00.003-04:00

The glorious day long been hoped for in America has finally come. Public Enemy #1 Osama Bin Laden is dead.

For all the mistakes made over the past ten years strategically, something has finally happened. Something to show to the American people who ask why we have still been fighting. Our primary "war on terror" objective has at last been achieved.

I commend President Obama for giving the kill order, especially considering his previous foreign policy regarding Pakistan. I think this will also help vindicate President Bush for coming after him in the first place. The people can argue about the decisions made in the interim ten years, but I don't think the victory belongs to any one administration.

If anything, rather than give credit to the Commander in Chief, let's celebrate the military men who did the job! Congratulations and sincerest thanks to the servicemen who pulled off the operation with no American casualties. And since I have family ties to the Navy, I'm particularly pleased he was brought down by Navy SEALs.

So many of our prior foreign conflicts have been left without any sense of resolution. The death of Bin Laden has given us a sense of closure here. Whatever strategically foolish decisions were made at the top, Hussein is dead, Bin Laden is dead, and America rejoices.

Memorial Day is just a few weeks away. I am so glad that this Memorial Day present came early. May it be a reminder to all those in this country to think of the veterans and soldiers in their lives, and renew their faith in the military's ability to get the job done.

GLEE: "Original Song"

2011-04-30T17:39:00.004-04:00

Regionals are once again upon us!

We open this show at Dalton Academy, during a performance of "Misery". When the song is over, they all pat themselves on the back for a great song choice for regionals (which, by the way, they don't end up doing at regionals). Anyway, at the end of the song, Kurt says something that has been bothering me all season. He tells Blaine that Blaine gets all the solos in all the numbers, and that the Warblers are starting to feel like Blaine and the Pips. In fact, during this very number I was thinking to myself, "Why does Blaine get to sing everything?"

Rachel presents Finn with her next foray into songwriting. It's called "Only Child". Once again, it's terrible and once again it's not available on iTunes. Though there is a funny lyric about how she's the "only Berry on my family tree" (that's her last name, get it?).

Sue Sylvester has faked a letter from My Chemical Romance forbidding New Directions from using "Sing" as their anthem at regionals. So Rachel suggests doing original songs again, and this time Finn supports her. Curiously, so does Quinn. She has some ulterior motive, and I don't remember what it is anymore; maybe Finn asked her to be nice? But in the end, the group is okay with that, so they are all assigned to get working on original songs. Quinn and Rachel decide to work together.

Pavarotti, the canary mascot of the Warblers, has died. Kurt is upset, so he asks the group if he can sing a song in his honor. The song he sings is "Blackbird" by The Beatles. It seems a little obvious since it has bird in the title. And actually, the subtext of the song is about a girl ("bird" is English slang), and I'd like to see it that way in something some time. But in this case, the blackbird is also Kurt in a way. This song ends up being a kind of audition in Blaine's eyes, which will lead Blaine to choose Kurt for a duet for regionals. Also of note is that Kurt is dressed all in black for this scene. I do like when the Warblers come in singing back-up. It's a nice moment, and a very nice arrangement for a song that seems to be done a little too often.

Santana is the first person in New Directions to present an original song she wrote. It's an ode to her boyfriend, Sam... called "Trouty Mouth." It's a hilarious sultry jazz song about Sam's big mouth. Sam is embarrassed by it, and her song is cut off in the middle, as Mr. Shue points out it is not a song for them to sing at regionals. But it's pretty funny.

The next original song is even better. It's not quite as funny a gag, but it's still humorous and a very well-written novelty song. Puck wrote the song for Lauren to amend for the "Fat-Bottomed Girls" incident. It's called "Big Ass Heart", and words cannot describe it. Thankfully, all of these songs were made available on iTunes, though it's a shame they weren't included on the CD or on an EP. Again though, it is surely not a song for regionals.

Blaine tells the Warblers' council that he doesn't want to do all the solos for regionals, and suggests Kurt get to sing. They agree. Blaine chooses a duet he can sing with Kurt, and tells Kurt how much his "Blackbird" solo meant to him. Finally, Blaine admits his love for Kurt and how dumb he's been for not realizing it. Then they kiss. I wrote in my notes "somewhere Don Wildmon's head is exploding". The kiss was polarizing, offending some conservative viewers. Victoria Jackson (formerly of Saturday Night Live) tweeted her offense. Her thoughts were quickly branded "homophobic" by the media. As for me, I think they danced around it long enough that I was expecting the kiss. Could have done without two though.

Mercedes debuts her original song, a black anthem to refusal called "Hell to the No". The lyrics are laced with "let me do what I want" sorts of sentiment; very whiny teenager. It is more anthemic, but the sentiment gets annoying quickly. I also tire of the usleless filler slang "to the". Despite the fact that "hell no" is overused, it's more succinct than "hell to the no". Still, it's the sort of song that could be a Top 40 hit.

There's a very funny bit where Mr. Shue asks everyone what their favorite song is, and Brittany says hers is "My Headband." Of course, this leaves me wondering when she heard "My Headband"... Mr. Shue tells them to write a good song they need to write from pain. So they start talking about how Sue Sylvester harasses them; she had filled Santana and Brittany's locker with dirt, and has been throwing sticks at people. So they focus on a theme: being losers.

Rachel and Quinn find it difficult to work together on writing a song. Rachel still wants Finn, but so does Quinn. There is a scene between them that is fantastic, one of the best written and acted pieces this whole season. Quinn tells Rachel to get over Finn, and Rachel counters that Finn chose her over Quinn last year (which is true, and I kept waiting for that to come up). Quinn counters by painting a picture of a future where she and Finn settle down and stay there in town, but Rachel moves on to bigger things because she doesn't belong there, trying to smack her with some reality. Rachel leaves to write the song on her own. I enjoyed the scene because both girls had valid points and each was understandable in their frustration. That's good TV.

So now we come to the regional competition. Who are this year's judges? One, the TV anchor that Sue had a thing for. Two, a prostitute-turned-nun played by the wonderful Loretta Devine. Three, Kathy Griffin as a kind of nasty Sarah Palin caricature. She was the worst thing about the episode. It never felt like she was playing a character or even an interesting cartoon; just taking jabs at Tea Party-type people. Later on, they use her as a mouthpiece to say how she finds homosexuals repulsive (apparently she gathered that the leads in the Warblers are gay, though nothing in the performance overtly suggests this). It's like it was put there first for Kathy Griffin herself to get on a soapbox, and for Ryan Murphy to immediately answer the viewers who didn't like the kiss earlier. The response basically is "Too bad, and we're gonna make fun of you now." Satire is fine and cuts both ways, but Griffin's character wasn't satirical or funny, and hurt an otherwise strong episode.

Sue Sylvester has chosen her set list for Aural Intensity with a song catered to butter up the judges: "Jesus is a Friend of Mine." It doesn't work; the judges consider it pandering. But the performance is silly enough. It's part Sister Act 2, part Snoopy Come Home (sort of reminded me of that silly friendship song in that movie). I wonder how the students felt about it. Also, how long are the sets for each school? Because I can't believe that they only did this one song while the Warblers and New Directions both get two. ...And why only two anyway? I hope that there is more performance that we don't get to see. Otherwise, it seems like a big day for so little involved. And a lot of rehearsal too. If they only do two songs, why don't they pick them earlier and rehearse the heck out of them? The way these competitions are portrayed on this show is getting more and more unrealistic.

The Warblers take the stage next. They begin their set with Blaine and Kurt singing "Candles". I thought it was a very nice performance, and worthy of the original. There is this point where Kurt's falsetto goes really high and is a bit distracting, but otherwise solid. They follow that up with Blaine leading the group in P!nk's "Raise Your Glass". Now, I'm no fan of the song, but they do it as well as can be expected. It's better than "Hey Soul Sister" which they did at sectionals. But I hate any lyric that includes the word "deal-io", or quotes The Dark Knight for no reason. But the energy is great, with some nice bits of choreography. My favorite part is the little fake-out when Blaine joins the group then jumps out again. ...Though the nitpicker in me wants to point out that you can see people clapping in the audience, but never hear the claps.

Remember how they were all supposed to do anthems? What were the anthems here? I suppose "Raise Your Glass" can be considered anthemic. But I don't think "Jesus is a Friend of Mine" can.

Finally it's time for New Directions and thank God they don't pull the old "walk down the aisles" trick this time. It starts with Rachel performing her original song, called "Get It Right". It's a nice ballad. Unfortunately, the way it was shot was quite bothersome. It began with her at a microphone alone, with a steadicam circling around her. That's fine. But it goes around in one shot for the entire verse, which is three complete revolves. It was just too much, and should have had a cut in there somewhere as I was starting to get dizzy. But I did like when the lights came up and the girls came down to join her. Oh, and the band was onstage! Glad they get some recognition, plus I'm always wondering where the music comes from when they perform.

And bolstered by this first success, the group goes on with the song they wrote together, "Loser Like Me." This is definitely an anthem for losers everywhere. Remember how Glee doesn't have a theme song? Well, I think they just found one, and it wouldn't surprise me if they use it that way next season. They could have used some more showy dance choreography at this level. But the song was good and ebullient. My favorite part is the very end where they throw slushies in the face of the audience, and it's confetti! What a wonderfully brilliant move, and a great way to psych out Coach Sylvester.

I don't think I need to tell you who won this competition. It's pretty obvious that it was New Directions, and was always going to be. The season has at least five more episodes. Kurt is disappointed the Warblers lost, but Blaine says that in a way he did win because they are together now. I knew this was how they would justify it in the writing and I got it without them having to say that explicitly. I hate that he said, "You did win." Just leave it alone, guys. We get it. Don't get too cute about it.

Anyway, New Directions finally won regionals and are on to nationals in New York. They've got some fun new songs to sell on the internet. But now that the Warblers have outlived their usefulness, what's to become of Kurt on this show? Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out.

Songs in tonight's episode:

Misery

Only Child

Blackbird

Trouty Mouth

Big-Ass Heart

Hell to the No

Jesus is a Friend of Mine

Candles

Raise Your Glass

Get It Right

Loser Like Me

Next episode: The show returns from a brief hiatus with an episode focusing on neglected artists. ...At least that's what they claim, but as we know from past theme shows, the promise is greater than the product.

GLEE: "Sexy"

2011-04-26T21:42:00.002-04:00

Again, this will be somewhat briefer as I'm working from sparser notes than usual that were written a month ago. But I shall do my best to remember what was going on in the episode.

We revisit the celibacy club for the first time since the first season opened with it. Only this time, it isn't cheerleaders learning to be teases, it's actually about abstinence. Quinn certainly has had a change of heart since her pregnancy (understandably). Though I wonder whatever happened to everyone else who used to be involved in the club's former self.

With this episode, the thread of Brittany's stupidity has finally snapped, and the writers have gone too far. Brittany tells everyone she's pregnant. And why? Get this, not only does she believe that dolphins are gay sharks and that Santa Claus is real and made Artie walk, but also believes that babies come from the stork. See, she saw a weird bird perch in a tree outside her house, and now she thinks it's the stork bringing her a baby. Give me a break. First, this makes Brittany just too stupid for words. That's not funny anymore, that's just sad. If I were Mr. Shuster, my first thought would not be a reproduction lesson; it would be having Brittany's parents arrested for child endangerment. How can they allow her to go on thinking these things? Secondly, I have a hard time believing in the reality of the show that Brittany actually thinks this. Last season, she was there when Quinn gave birth. It was clear to everyone that Quinn had Puck's baby after they got busy, and there was no mention of a stork. Brittany was present when Quinn pushed a human out of her lady parts. And I'm supposed to believe she thinks the stork is responsible?

Anyway, this provides the impetus for Holly Holiday to return to the school and start discussing sex with the students. The preachy message of this episode is how uninformed teenagers are about sex education. Frankly, I think a joke is made of it when it goes this far. It's one thing to think that you can't get pregnant standing up. It's another to think pregnancy is brought on by large white fowl. Anyway, Holly is one of these progressive pass-out-the-condoms, no-such-thing-as-too-much-information types. She makes it her mission to get the kids talking about sexual issues.

She does this at first by singing with the kids the song "Do You Want to Touch Me." The scene is just... uncomfortable. I think someone's clearly missed the boat when a teacher is singing about sexual touching with underage teens. What's the point of this exercise? To make everyone comfortable with the idea of the female orgasm? Or what? The scene felt to me like that "Reproduction" scene in Grease 2. Everyone gets all into the song, but it feels so out of place.

Lauren and Puck decide out of the blue that they are going to make a sex tape, put it on the internet, and gain instant fame like all those other nominal celebrities of our day. It's a stupid idea. But here Ms. Holiday actually does something productive by informing them that it's a bad idea since it could get them arrested for possession of child pornography and registered as sex offenders. This sort of thing does happen with sexting and such these days. So while the storyline felt like it came out of left field to me, I was glad the show was reminding the kids of the world how stupid this sort of thing is.

Meanwhile, the show can't get away from Dalton Academy, so we cut over to the Warblers. They decide they need some sex appeal for regionals, so they invite girls from the private girls' school nearby. They will perform for the girls and their reaction will tell them how well they succeed in being sensual. The girls all love Blaine, of course, and are saddened to learn he plays for the wrong team. Anyway, we quickly find during the episode that Kurt is terribly unsexy. He doesn't know how to be sexy. Blaine addresses this after the performance. Kurt is just sort of uncomfortable. Blaine talks to Kurt's dad, advising him to have a sex talk with his son, which makes Burt reluctant.

But have the talk he does. What's odd here is how averse to the whole think Kurt is, when just last episode he said, "Maybe you should educate yourself so that if I have any questions I can come to my dad like any straight son." But he's so against it in this case when his father is TRYING to help him. The discussion ends up mostly side-stepping sex and being about relationships. Part of this I assume is due to the time slot and the audience; can't get too graphic. I think it's an interesting conversation involving how gay relationships are different because of the way men think and then there are two men in that relationship. His point is for Kurt not to get himself into sexual situations impulsively. Though I do wish, even avoiding the mechanics of gay intercourse, a point had been made about protection.

The weird relationship between Santana and Brittany in this episode becomes full-on lesbian. Santana proclaims that she loves Brittany and wishes she would dump Artie so they can be together. Brittany loves her too, but won't leave Artie. Santana is jealous. They sing "Landslide" together as an expression of Santana's feelings. I don't quite get the connection. Is it because of the song being covered by the lesbian Indigo Girls?

There's a weird performance of Prince's "Kiss" in this episode. Is that Will singing in a crazy falsetto? Prince is an appropriate artist for this episode, but I didn't much like this number. No one does Prince like Prince, except maybe the Artist Formerly Known As Prince.

Meanwhile, Emma has been promoting abstinence and wants the celibacy club to perform something that's not all about promoting teen sexuality. Though we learn that Emma is very sexually repressed herself, and that she and Carl are in counseling because they have yet to consummate their marriage. Is part of this due to her latent love for Will? In any case, Carl leaves her until she figures it out.

Emma ultimately does perform a song, and chooses "Afternoon Delight" totally unaware that its is not at all about abstinence. The scene is very funny for that reason. She thinks it's a song about pie, when it's really all about getting busy in the daytime.

Oh, and now Ms. Holiday and Will are an item. Whoopee. ...no pun intended.

Anyway, I wasn't a big fan of this episode. It threw a lot of stuff at the wall and not much stuck for me. Like they chose teen sexuality as an "issue" but didn't handle it in any sort of sensible way for the most part. I really object to the new fully realized bisexual Santana, which will only become more lesbian as the season goes on. It strikes me as somewhat hollow, and an attempt to make the show even gayer than it already is. I'm tired of Ryan Murphy ramming it down our throats (certainly no pun intended). Did someone complain about lack of lesbian content in the show? What started as a one-off joke in last year's finale has become a new identity for Santana, and I don't like it. Where does this fit in with her many heterosexual conquests?

I wasn't sure whether to discuss this here or in a later episode, but I guess I'll do it now. Santana will begin identifying herself as a closet lesbian in later episodes. And the viewpoint of the show seems to be that she is just embracing who she really is. But I think this reading is wrong. Santana has never shown any indication that she is interested in girls in general, only that she loves Brittany. This actually makes perfect sense. She has divorced sex from intimacy, so what she gets from guys is a sexual release, but not a real relationship. Meanwhile, Brittany is her best friend, who she has spent lots of close time with in Cheerios. They stuck by each other when they were ostracized for sticking with glee club over cheerleading. It's understandable for her to love Brittany, and to transfer that level of intimacy that is otherwise lacking in her prior sexual relationships onto her. And I think what's happened is this "gay is okay" society we live in has made her identify these feelings as her own lesbian tendencies. But from what I've seen, I don't think she is gay. I think she just loves Brittany. What she needs is to work out her intimacy issues. Until I see some indication that Santana is after anyone on the ladies' team, I can't see her as a lesbian and I think it is irresponsible of the series to paint it in such reductive light. For all those girls out there who might be confused over feelings for their best friend, and are watching thinking "does this mean I'm gay?" I think the show owes it to them to say, "not necessarily." I think Naya Rivera does a good acting job in this episode, and portrays the inner feelings well, I just don't want the show to lead the character where she shouldn't be. Why do lesbians on TV always turn out being girls who "turn"? I fear the show is becoming too gay for its own good. None of that takes away from a fine performance from Rivera, and at least addressing things seen in prior episodes. I am just really hoping that it ends differently from where it's going right now. Where's the Santana who was jealous about Puck? Who wanted Carl the dentist to drill her? What Santana needs is to be comfortable enough with a man to have the intimacy before the sex. And really, that's an angle that this episode terribly failed to address, when it would have been a perfect opportunity.

The episode feels like Carl's honeymoon with Emma: a frustrating disappointment.

Songs in tonight's episode:

Do you Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah)

Animal

Kiss

Landslide

Afternoon Delight

Next episode: Regionals are back upon us, and the club is performing original songs. I guess that means Rachel's songwriting has improved. New Directions and the Warblers go head-to-head for a rematch... any guesses who wins?

GLEE: "Blame It on the Alcohol"

2011-04-25T09:10:00.004-04:00

I've misplaced my notes for this episode and have no idea where they are. But rather than skip it, I've decided to watch the episode again and take new notes. These reactions will thus be more immediate than previous, and perhaps will trigger some memory of my earlier initial reactions.

As the title suggests, this episode focuses on teenage drinking. Like the great exploitation films that preceded it, it presents situations where otherwise normal kids take a little alcohol, then go completely wild on a downward spiral all at once. While this approach has no basis whatsoever in reality, it follows in the footsteps of classics like Reefer Madness. My one concern is whether this is supposed to be ironic commentary, or just didacticsm couched in scare tactics. It seems kids are binging and showing up to school wasted; Figgis has been suspending students left and right. Mr. Shue rightly points out there has never been a problem like this before. The series takes an opportunity to literally blame it on the alcohol: the new "drinks marketed to kids". They don't specify, but they mean drinks like 4Loko that have caused controversy recently. People claim it's just marketing alcohol to kids, not to mention the pop music of artists like Ke$ha (who Figgis keeps calling her "Key-dollar sign-ha"). Is the show suggesting these things are REALLY to blame, or that Figgis is ascribing blame to them like other reactionary adults? If they aren't to blame, then what IS the cause for it? There must be some in-universe reason why students are suddenly drinking all the time. Really all it takes is one or two kids to make it popular, but I think we need more of a reason in this episode for the start than just blaming it on commercials and popular music.

To combat the problem in the school, Principal Figgis appoints the week "Alcohol Awareness Week" and asks the glee club to perform a song about the dangers of alcohol. We also learn that Sue has taken the job of coaching Aural Intensity, New Directions' competition from another school (she got the job by throwing their existing coach down the stairs).

Rachel's original songwriting makes its debut for Finn. The song she's writing is called "My Headband", and as you've guessed it's about her headband. Why she thinks this is in any way appropriate for the club to sing at regionals, I don't know. This is the sort of goofy nonsense that a starting songwriter might write (that or lyrics like "Baby, baby, baby, oh!"), and it's a hilarious moment in the episode. What makes it is that even though the rhymes are lame and the phrasing awkward, Rachel sings it with such conviction, like any other Rachel ballad. Finn points out how bad the song is. I'd like to add I think it's a shame this song is not available on iTunes. Maybe nobody wanted to write a full version of it. Rachel realizes that she can't write songs about life because she's never really lived. So just like Sandy at the end of Grease, she decides to be bad, by hosting a party with alcohol at her house while her dads are out of town.

This is one of the few times Rachel's gay dads are mentioned. It's funny that the show is so gay-friendly (too much so at times), but we never see them. Perhaps this is due to not being able to get whoever is in the photograph in the first episode. We are however introduced to their basement, which is tricked out with karaoke, a disco ball, and a small stage. It's here that they host their Academy Awards parties. ...Can I just ask what is so stereotypically gay about the Oscars? The Tonys I can understand, but I don't know why people who watch the Oscars have an aura of homo about them in the popular mindset.

Most of the gang shows up to Rachel's party (which was really Puck's idea anyway), though reluctantly. Some wine coolers are provided, but people really want to booze it up. Blaine and Kurt are also present, because how else were they going to get them in this episode?

It's funny that Rachel is a bit less suspicious of Blaine being a spy in this episode than she would have been with anyone else. Blaine, for his part, does try to assuage any fears right away saying he's not a Warbler tonight. ...Though, and I hesitate to mention this, the line is "I'm totally off the clock right now, Rachel" but Darren sort of slurs the word, so at first I heard, "I'm totally off the cock right now, Rachel." I know that's not what he says, but it sort of sounds like it, and given where the episode goes later, it's somewhat appropriate.

It's evident that Rachel doesn't know how to party, and people quickly decide to leave. Puck suggests breaking into her dads' liquor cabinet. And so they do. And before you can say Reefer Madness, everyone is sloshed, half-naked, and jumping around like an idiot, cut to Far East Movement's "Like a G6". All except Finn, the designated driver, and Kurt who is trying to impress Blaine -- which apparently means dressing like Dudley Do-Right. Seriously, what is with his ensemble?

One of the cleverer, best moments of the episode comes when Finn breaks down the various drunken archetypes present at the party. They are

Santana -- the weepy histerical drunk

Lauren and Quinn -- the angry girl drunks

Brittany -- the girl who turns into a stripper drunk

Mercedes and Tina -- happy girl drunk

Rachel -- the needy girl drunk

Everyone does great with their acting to their respective categories (and the writing is good here too). It's observant humor that's pretty true, and I like that.

Rachel gets a game of spin the bottle going. Does anyone actually play this game outside of books and TV shows these days? Rachel's spin lands on Blaine... and they get into it. As Rachel tells him, "Your face tastes awesome." Kurt is weirded out.

And then Blaine and Rachel hit the stage for some karaoke. Like any drunk theater geeks, they pick a bad '80s pop song, in this case "Don't You Want Me". Even though the song is bad, the vocals are great, especially since this is the only time we've ever seen Blaine sing outside of the Warblers. I like Rachel's jumping; she really goes all out in the moment. There's a quick cut-away too to Puck wearing Lauren's glasses which is just the sort of thing that might happen here. I didn't notice it the first two times I watched the episode.

The next morning, Kurt's dad finds Blaine in Kurt's bed, and that makes him understandably uncomfortable. We later learn that Kurt brought him over because he was too drunk to drive home.

Back at McKinley the gang is all very hungover, and Artie passes out bloody marys to ease their suffering. Gotta say, bringing alcohol to school with cups for everyone is not only stupid but pretty suspicious behavior right now knowing how things are at McKinley. If I were Sue or Figgis I would be all over that in a second.

The gang performs "Blame It (on the Alcohol)", suggesting it as their song for Alcohol Awareness Week. Their is heavy MTV-editing in the visuals, more than usual, but perhaps that's appropriate. They've got these couches on giant turntables on the stage, leading me again to question where the money comes from for all these fancy things every time they rehearse. The use of the song was obvious, not only from the title, but because upon its release was a song that had many parents angry that it was glorifying drinking to their kids. I wonder how those parents will feel when their kids are listening to the Glee kids sing it on the album.

Mr. Shue says the song is inappropriate because it glorifies drinking, but commends them for their acting, almost believing they were drunk (observant, Will). The kids say there's no songs about the dangers of alcohol and accuse Shuster of being a hypocrite because adults drink and then tell kids not to. What I do like in this scene is that they make it about more than just driving. That's always the issue for some people. It seems whenever I argue for lowering the drinking age, the opposition always says something about teen drivers killing people. News flash: driving drunk is illegal for everyone already. Mr. Shue points out alcohol poisoning, which does kill people. And it's this sort of thing we should be teaching our youth about. Forget whether alcohol in itself is good or bad, the binge habits of teenagers can and do kill. The episode touches more on responsible drinking than most, so I'll give it that. It's still unrealistic on the whole, but I'm glad they broadened the issue.

Rachel calls up Blaine (on her princess phone, which says "princess" on it. That's all kinds of appropriate) and asks him out. Blaine agrees to go, which bothers Kurt. Blaine talks about how he isn't sure if he's gay or not because kissing Rachel wasn't awful. Kurt is horrified, considering how he looks up to Blaine as a gay role model. And I LOVE that the show delves into this territory. I love that it bucks the "I was born this way and have always known I was different" thing that it usually presents. I love that Blaine calls out Kurt for bigotry. And a part of me really wishes that Blaine had come out of this episode realizing he was straight, if only because that would REALLY blow the lid off television treatment of homosexuality. At the start of the scene, Rachel puts on a record (yay records!). It's Carole King's album Tapestry. This is appropriate since Carole King features in the episode thematically, with Rachel unsure she can write songs like that. The song playing is "So Far Away". But what bothers me is that it's still playing while Kurt and Blaine are in the coffee shop after Rachel has hung up. Are we to believe the coffee shop just happened to be playing the same song too? As coincidental as that might be, it also plays right through the cuts between the two locations, making the diagetic feel nonsensical. Sorry to point out the illogic of the edit, but it bothered me.

Coach Bieste notes that Will is depressed, and offers to take him to a cowboy bar she frequents for stress relief. So they go, and Will rides a mechanical bull. He does a lot of drinking. And of course on this show, when theater people drink, they sing. (actually, from my experience, this has a certain authenticity). Who would have thought we'd get Coach Beiste singing on this show?

Rachel and Blaine's date went well, from her point of view. They went to a screening of Love Story, dressed in character. As Kurt says sarcastically, "That's not gay at all..." Kurt says that what Rachel and Blaine have is only due to the alcohol. He tries to tell Rachel that Blaine is gay and only one of the many men she will date who will turn out to be gay. But this scene also caused me some concern. Rachel says she and Blaine have a lot in common, to which Kurt replies, "A sentiment expressed by many a hag about many a gay." Can they say that? Did he just use the word "hag"? If you don't know the reference, women who have strong affinity for homosexual men are sometimes called "fag hags". Thus, "hag" denoting a woman and being used in this case solely for the rhyme. So to me, it seems odd to use "hag" when it clearly conjures the word "fag" to mind, and we all know how that show feels about THAT word. Just like those who are offended at calling certain shirts "wife-beaters", I think "hag" in this context is troubling. If you can't say "fag", then you can't say "fag hag". Plus, you can tell they were dancing around it by using the word "gay" as a noun in that sentence. I don't get it.

Will comes home from the bar VERY drunk, tries to grade some papers that way (giving everyone As), then calls Emma to tell her in very slurred sentences how he loves her. ...or at least he thought it was Emma he called... The next day Will apologizes to Emma but she has no idea what he's talking about. Turns out he called Sue Sylvester.

Kurt and his father have a discussion about how inappropriate it was for Kurt to let Blaine sleep over without asking. Burt says its no different than Finn bringing a girl over; he wouldn't allow that either. Kurt argues that he's not okay with the gay issue, leading to one of the funnier lines of the night. Mr. Hummel says, "I don't know what two guys do when they're together. You know, I sat through that Brokeback Mountain. From what I gather, something went down in the tent."

The series finally delivers on the promise of "Brittany/Britney" that Brittany would be performing a Ke$ha song. She says "Ke$ha's been a cultural icon for weeks" which is the sort of passing satire I wish the show did more of. The group is doing "Tik Tok" for the assembly. They are all nervous, so Rachel passes around some booze to loosen them up backstage. What is it? Whatever was left in her dads' liquor cabinet; brandy, vermouth, port, scotch, some Kool-Aid and crumbled up Oreo cookies. And cough syrup. Way to go out with a bang. The performance is going well, with Brittany doing splits and all, until Rachel's cocktail catches up with her and she vomits in Rachel's face. This leads Santana to vomit as well. What I don't get is why the music suddenly cut dead when she vomited. It's effective, but makes no sense. Everyone is silent, as Brittany covered in her own sick tells the school to drink responsibly.

Sue gets on the school PA system and blames Will for the spectacle. She plays his drunken message to the entire school, thus publicly shaming him. The whole club is called before Principal Figgis, who congratulates them for their "special effects" at the assembly. Turns out that the school has been scared straight, and so the group is commended. Watching it again, if they could have faked it that way, it really would have been a VERY effective end to a performance of "Tik Tok". If I didn't think it was real vomit, I'd come to the same conclusion as Figgis. A sudden, horrible abrupt end to a party song would be a good way to shake up the student body. Though Figgis is still an idiot since that auditorium would have smelled awful.

Mr. Shuster has the glee club sign pledges not to drink again until after Regionals. Can you say Dazed and Confused?

Rachel kisses Blaine (while they are both sober) at the coffee shop, and it convinces Blaine that he is gay. The world is back to normal. I like that Carole King's "I Feel the Earth Move" is playing underneath the whole scene. Rachel, for her part, now has life experience: a love affair with a guy who turned out gay. Songwriting gold. Yep, back to normal.

For what it is, it's not a bad episode. It doesn't have the authenticity of the Freaks and Geeks episode "Beers and Weirs" but it's not awful. Still, they once again missed the opportunity for a perfect song choice, in this case Barenaked Ladies' "Alcohol".

Songs in tonight's episode:

My Headband

(there's some song playing faintly when Kurt arrives to the party, but I can't make it out)

Like a G6

Don't You Want Me

Blame It (on the Alcohol)

So Far Away

One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer

Tik Tok

I Feel the Earth Move

Favorite lines: "Mr. Shue, first of all that vest is very cute -- you are all kinds of awesome." That's drunk Rachel for you.

"Welcome to Rosalita's Roadhouse, where the men are men and the sheep are nervous."

Next episode: Ugh, Gwyneth Paltrow is back again, and this time the preachy message is about sex.

GLEE: "Comeback"

2011-04-22T14:31:00.005-04:00

Time to make my reviewing comeback by looking back at Glee's episode, "Comeback". This was 5 episodes back, and months ago that it aired, so I don't remember it too well, but I'll do my best from my minimal notes. I could watch it again on Hulu, but that would make this take even longer; I have many episodes to cover.

At the start of this episode, students are actually in class! One of my biggest criticisms of the series generally is that we never see these students in class. I like the reminder that this is a school. I'd actually like to see more in-class time like Freaks and Geeks (which didn't dwell on it, but always felt like school). Right now, it's like Saved By the Bell: the College Years where if we ever do see them in class, it's the one anthropology class that they all seem to take. Having said all this, it was nice to see the kids in class again. This season has gotten a little better at having classroom content, but it's not near enough to the believability level. Heck, at this point I'd take more cafeteria scenes.

Sue Sylvester mentions she was so depressed she almost killed herself, calling it Sue-icide. Cute.

Like many Glee episodes, this one focuses on a theme of songs to practice for competition. This weeks theme is anthems. And like many other episodes, they completely ignore the theme for most of the episode. More on that as we develop.

There's a rather unfortunate joke in this episode. Mr. Shue asks the kids who can tell him what an anthem is. Brittany responds by saying "the bottom of an ant's dress" or something like that. She means ant-hem. See it? The problem is at this point he hasn't even written the word on the board. This is a gag that only works with the written word and doesn't play audibly. So while I'm sure some writer thought he was being clever, it makes no sense, really exposing the dialogue as being written, and hurting the suspension of disbelief that we call television.

I suppose it was only a matter of time before the haircut caught up with us. Sam decides to win Quinn by performing like Justin Beiber. Why? Because Beiber was hot at the time, and he has his stupid haircut. So Sam puts on a purple hoodie, combs his hair, and sings "Baby". It's not a bad performance for what it is, it's just not a good song.

In my notes I have written, "Does this episode look dark to anyone else?" I haven't seen it again, but I seem to recall it looking just sort of murky, and I don't know why.

The other boys try to get in on the Beiber fever as well. At this point I'm wondering when the anthems are going to come in, and why it's been so Beiber heavy. I worry that the Justin Beiber stuff will terribly date this episode. It's very hard to gauge pop phenomena for staying power, but you can usually get a feel if there's artistry behind it. The Beatles had glimmers of being more than a boy band about them. You don't want to choose something that's too tied to a cultural zeitgeist. Up to this point, Glee has only referenced big name, established artists, or when they've done something of a theme show it's been in a broader context (like the Lady Gaga show). But here it's just "let's do Beiber because little girls like him". And I worry that will date this episode faster than a mention of LonelyGirl15. What's next, a Hannah Montana episode? This was the first time I thought audiences five to ten years from now would have trouble getting the reference. It reminded me of when Punky Brewster was all into DeBarge. My foresight suggests to me that DeBarge had more staying power than Justin Beiber ever will, 3D concert film and all.

Rachel (was it Rachel?) and Mercedes perform "Take Me or Leave Me" from Rent. I'm a little surprised that Rent hasn't crept into this series sooner. What is written as a fight between lesbians loses all that context for a kind of diva showdown. I have written down "not good". I remember my sister liked it, but something about the performance didn't grab me. Maybe it was the way the song was cut, or just the sort of lackluster feel to it. I honestly don't remember what I was thinking. But it might have felt no different from any high school karaoke performance of the song. Likely I thought the girls oversang it (tends to happen with those two), and I don't like the way the dragged out the ending. I mean, not the worst thing ever, but it was an odd song choice to begin with and I don't think it did either of them any favors. Gotta go Simon Cowell on this one.

There's a scene where Will and Sue visit some sick kids and sing with them. What do they sing? The classic Sunday School jam "This Little Light of Mine". What I loved about that scene was how normal it was. That is precisely the song they would sing, that's how they would sing it, and it got the right feel without getting too maudlin or mawkish (guess this is practice-your-vocabulary edition of this blog).

The big girl Lauren (that's her name, right?) performs a song as well in the episode, choosing the classic "I Know What Boys Like". It's a good choice for her since it's mostly talking on pitch, and exudes overconfidence. The moment is fun for what it is.

Sue is brought into the glee club as a way to keep her out of her depression. It's not till near the end of the episode that Sue points out what I wrote several notes ago: none of these songs are anthems! Why aren't the kids doing the assignment? This is for regionals! They HAVE to do an anthem or they are disqualified. So Sue makes the suggestion of "Sing" by My Chemical Romance. We see it performed (with Sue as a singing member of New Directions) and it's clear that THIS is an anthem. It's not the best song ever (it was playing at Dunkin' Donuts today), but not bad, appropriate for the theme, and they perform it pretty well. But what was with their outfits? Was it supposed to be grunge? The whole club was dressed in what I can only describe as lumberjack chic. It distracted me from the song since the costumes had nothing to do with the song, and kept making me think of Monty Python.

The club decides "Sing" is a good choice for regionals, but Rachel suggests maybe the best thing to do is to write an original song to catch the other teams off-guard. Everyone votes her down. There was a whole subplot in this episode that I had completely forgotten that had Rachel trying to regain her popular status in the school. She hired Brittany to set trends and attribute them to her, but all the glory kept going to Brittany. Like Rachel would tell Brittany to wear a dorky unicorn sweater like Rachel always wears, then everyone would think it's cool because Brittany did it. It was somewhat humorous. All this played into the original song idea, with Rachel also using it as a way to regain respect. Privately, Finn tells her that he thinks it might be a good idea, and that the only way to prove it is for Rachel to write her own original song and show them all. What will happen next?

Favorite line: "Who's more rock and roll than Justin Beiber?" It's funny because just about anyone you can think of is more rock and roll than Justin Beiber.

Songs in tonight's episode:

Baby

Somebody to Love (not to be confused with the song of the same name they did in season 1)

Take Me or Leave Me

This Little Light of Mine

I Know What Boys Like

Sing

Next episode: The show takes on teen drinking.

"You idiot, we've all got swords!"

2011-04-20T10:43:00.002-04:00

Yesterday at the Burlington Mall in Massachusetts, a couple of people nervously claimed to have seen a man with what what appeared to be a rifle. Police were called in. Something like 40 cops showed up. I.C.E. got involved. The mall was evacuated. Wall to wall news coverage of nothing while they look for this suspect. A friend of mine who works at the mall got calls asking how she was. And then the man was found... just a young guy with an umbrella sticking out of his bag.

And the police admit no wrong-doing.

The umbrella was one with a handle that looks like a samurai sword. I could even understand it if people were concerned he had a sword (but let's be clear, nobody is EVER concerned in this state that someone might have a sword. It's just guns that scare them). But no, they thought it was a rifle. Seriously.

So this poor guy is traumatized, feels the need to return his umbrella, and has to live with the guilt of a whole mall evacuating because he decided to go shopping one day in the rain.

I must confess, I too own an umbrella like this. I have one exactly like it. And I've walked around malls with it. You know what happened? Some little kid said, "Look! He's got a sword, that's cool!" That's it. No incident.

Another day I was carrying it on my back and happened to pass a police car stopped at a light (I walk everywhere). He felt the need to lean out the window and ask what it was and where I was going. I assured him it was an umbrella. His response? "You sure about that?" First of all, as I'm the one carrying it, I'm obviously sure about it, you idiot. But I showed it to him and he was satisfied. It was stupid and annoying to be questioned for having a cool umbrella. Besides which, if it were a REAL katana, it would be obvious as the handle wouldn't be one big plastic piece. But I could at least understand one cop who happened to see it just checking. That, while annoying, was him doing his job and not making a big deal of it. But I cannot understand calling in police from all over Burlington and the surrounding towns before anyone's even checked the security cameras.

Now there is talk of outlawing "scary umbrellas" in the state. I'm putting my foot down now. To anyone in the state reading this, stand up for our rights! We already have some of the strictest gun laws in the country. We already have all sorts of ridiculous rules regarding knives and such, as well as non-firing replica handguns. How is anyone any safer if I don't have an umbrella? You know what, we have a Constitutional right to bear arms be they guns, knives or swords. I'm sure that means I can carry whatever umbrella I want. Even if I WERE walking down the street with a sword on my back, so what? As long as it's not out and being brandished at someone, I'm sure we can all live our lives without incident. Enough with the reactionary police state. Enough with the waste of our money and media resources. You and I know that the media were all there at the mall hoping it WAS something juicy like a shooter, which is why the had nonstop coverage of nothing happening for over an hour. Enough already.

Actually, my umbrella was taken by someone at work about a month ago on a rainy day, and I'd like it back. I don't take things that aren't mine. And I certainly don't think the state should be taking them from everyone. Nobody likes their parades rained on, especially when they have no umbrellas. All I'll say is that you can have my umbrella when you pry it from my cold, wet, dead hands.

Time to Play Catch-Up

2011-04-19T17:28:00.003-04:00

Been away for a long time and Glee is finally new again tonight. That means I have 3 episodes worth to comment on before the new one. Don't know how long it will take me to get caught up (it takes at least an hour to do just one episode), but soon hopefully. I have to find my notes, though I'm sure some of them won't make sense to me now. Oh well. But rest assured, there is more coming.

If I think of anything else pressing to write about I will. And I do sort of want to get back to those Great American Myth essays. Again, time is an issue.

Well, until anything new pops up here I leave you with a random quote:

"If is a word smack in the middle of life. Isn't that deeeeep?" -Punky Brewster

Regarding Faith: An Observation

2011-03-07T17:34:00.004-05:00

It is starting to seem to me that there are fewer Christians today that believe in miracles the way I do.

There are good people out there, some in prominent positions, who believe in God and they believe in miracles to a point, but not the way I do. In the end, I very much believe in a God who raises dead things, and the more I interact with some people the more I just don't think they do. Oh, they believe God HAS raised dead things, or raised dead people, and certainly believe in a resurrected Christ, but I don't get a sense of real active present belief in such things from many of them. Not in the same way. They believe in a God who uses people to effect change, but I'm not convinced they believe in a God who actively does unbelievable things. I have no specific people in mind here, this is just a general realization I'm coming to.

You'll find it in even the dilution of the word "miracle". How many times someone calls a new baby a miracle. It's not. A miracle is a supernatural event, usually of God's intervention (though not necessarily). A miracle is a bending of the expected to the fortunate unexpected. But there's nothing inherently miraculous about reproduction; it's the way of nature as designed. There are certain instances where a birth is a miracle. When a person is infertile and can't get pregnant no matter what they do, then God answers prayer and gives pregnancy, that is a miracle. But just because something is good doesn't make it miraculous. Nor does it even mean that God was involved in it.

"It's a miracle I made it on time today!" That sort of statement makes light of the truly miraculous. I think many out there define miracle in this way; something fortuitous that I didn't plan on. And so when you ask if people believe in miracles, they will heartily say yes. But do they REALLY believe in the very supernatural? In sudden unexplainable healing? In the raising of the dead? In multiplication of monies or something tangible? Some will believe several of those, but not necessarily all. They'll agree that these things occur in Scripture, but if you suggest "let's pray that God doubles the amount of coffee in this pot" they'll look at you like you are crazy. Now, is God always going around doubling coffee in the pot? No. And he is likely not going to in most instances. But do I believe that with enough faith should the situation arise, I can pray and he might do it? Yes. Yes I do. Why? Because I'm just stupid enough to believe in miracles.

Jesus didn't do many miracles in Nazareth says the Scripture because the people lacked faith. Perhaps we see less of this sort of thing because we really don't allow ourselves to have faith in such things anymore. If a situation is dire, the reaction might be to take whatever response is the obvious (or only) one possible. But why do we not at least ask for the impossible? I still believe in impossible things. I'm sorry for those who don't. I'm tired of the dilution of the supernatural in our world; the self-actualization, the seeing things without perceptive eyes, the prayer that seems to only be for wisdom to make good sensible decisions (not against praying for wisdom, but it seems to be all some people do; wisdom in going ahead with natural thinking). We teach our children there are no such things as monsters or ghosts. Some are offended by A Christmas Carol because it's a ghost story. I remember VeggieTales' Easter Carol making a point that "there's no such thing as ghosts". And yet what was the apparition of Samuel that appeared to Saul at Endor? If we believe in the Bible as truth, can't we really believe it, even if it makes us sound ridiculous?

The Easter season is approaching, and I for one am looking for miracles to confound the wise; I want to see real supernatural resurrections. Do we believe or don't we that all things are possible?

For the record, I believe in witches, ghosts, demons, angels, dragons, curses, miracles, and a resurrected Christ. And I consider that being realistic.

UPDATE: I've been reading Clinton Heylin's recent book on the songs of Bob Dylan, Still On the Road. I'm in the chapter on Slow Train Coming during his evangelistic Christian period in '79 and '80, and came across a quote from Dylan that applies to exactly what I'm talking about here. In late November 1979, here's what Bob said to the crowd in Santa Monica:

"I don't know what kind of God you believe in, but I believe in a God that can raise the dead. He does it all the time, every day. Now there's certain men, you know, many of them who live right in this town, who seek to lead you astray. You be careful now. The real God, the real God, the one and only God, he don't make promises that he don't keep. That's how you can tell he's the real God."

Thanks, Bob. That's a nice timely affirmation.

10 Best Films of 2010

2011-02-26T23:07:00.004-05:00

Alright, I'm extraordinarily late on this but was trying to wait until I'd seen more. This only covers movies I've seen! I've still not seen Winter's Bone, so it is possible that it belongs here. I don't know. But rest assured The Social Network did not make this list. Unlike last year's list, this one is ranked.

Honorable Mention:

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo -- I felt weird including this in the official final list since I haven't seen the other films in the trilogy yet. But I saw this one, and it was good. The Swedes still make good films, and Noomi Rapace is fabulous. The original Swedish title, "Men Who Hate Women" actually is much more accurate though.

Toy Story 3 -- It's not that the movie is bad. It's perfectly fine. But it isn't great like you'd expect it to be. In the end, it's a half-hour of good material padded out. It's amusing and enjoyable, but the world of Pixar has changed since the first one came out. The animation has been refined so the humans all look better, but different. The characters are almost too detailed now. Woody's hat, which used to be plastic, now flops about in the wind. Not to mention the sentiments in the film's plot are lifted directly from Toy Story 2, so it feels like a rehash. Where the first sequel built on the original, this one coasts on nostalgia. Like a Buzz Lightyear toy, it amounts to being enjoyable but overrated.

Okay, now to the official list!

10. Inception -- I was very undecided about whether this made the cut. Ultimately, it's well-crafted enough to be a notable film of the year. There are good elements to it, and if you go with the premise it mostly pays off. Marion Cotillard continues to be a joy onscreen, and DiCaprio continues his string of intense characters losing their grip. Ellen Page looks weird in a neckerchief. The zero-gravity stuff was cool. Unfortunately, the script is also too cute for its own good, muddying itself with too many elements and ending on a frustrating note of ambiguity just for the sake of doing so. Christopher Nolan is hailed as a genius, but his popular works continue to be ambitious frenetic jumbles that fall apart on close inspection. Still he's competent enough to make me curious for The Dark Knight Rises. ...I've recently begun questioning though whether any of us ever really "dream within a dream". If we don't, then the entire movie falls apart.

9. How to Train Your Dragon -- When judged against the usual Pixar fare it might seem to fall short. However, viewed against DreamWorks' previous efforts, this is their best film to date, at least rising to the level of The Prince of Egypt. It's success is due in no small part to the team of Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois, two highly creative story men from Disney. They were responsible for Lilo & Stitch, and you can see a lot of that in the animation of Toothless. While the plot at times meanders or makes no sense (why are the Vikings all Scottish?), and adds characters who have little to do (Astrid), the scenes with Hiccup and the dragon really call back to the kind of wordless marvels of animation that we used to see in the 1940s from Disney, or still come out of Japan. I also really liked that all the text in the film is in runes, that seem to be accurate. Jeffrey Katzenberg has announced several sequels in the works; I hope that they don't follow the Shrek model and dilute the franchise. If they can improve on what was already here, DreamWorks may finally be an animation studio to take seriously.

8. Skirt Day -- It may be a bit of a cheat to include this film, since it debuted in France over a year ago. However, it only hit our shores in 2010, and I just saw it a week ago. Journee de la Jupe as it is known in France follows a high school drama teacher in a rough urban school. She wears skirts, so the students harass her; it has become school policy that all females must wear pants, lest they be taunted as sluts or worse. In a bizarre series of events, she ends up holding her class at gunpoint to gain some respect and teach her lesson on Moliere. The film has a lot to say about the way we approach race and sex in modern education. The principal, who at first seems to blame soon becomes sympathetic. We are treated to the no-win scenario of public education. Along the way there are issues of bigotry over religion (a number of the students are muslim, at least nominally). It felt very much like something out of Boston Public. Unfortunately, the film doesn't want to glorify the idea of violence solving problems, so it goes a few steps too far toward the end in wrapping things up. Though teetering between didacticism and social commentary, and never quite sure whether guns are good or not, it's a gripping movie. The way things are left though, you wonder if there's any way to hold any control in a situation like this, or will things always get out of hand?

7. True Grit -- It's a rare thing for a remake to stand out on its own, but this one does. The Coen Brothers have made another fine film. The cinematography is gorgeous. While there are bits that don't always work as they might, it's never uninteresting. Hailee Steinfeld is a real find, and though I think she's still a bit green here, she will be one to watch in the future. I especially enjoyed the score, culled from hymns of the period, primarily "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms". Oh, and that ending... Well, let's just say it's nice that a movie acknowledges firearms have a kickback to them. It almost approaches a farcical level, but manages to sidestep that, and maintain suspense.

6. Tangled -- My favorite animated film of the year. I saw it three times, and every time it was fun. While I'm still not sure of the title, this is certainly the strongest of the CG Disney efforts. What I enjoyed most were little touches of the lighting; when the light is refracted through the jewels in the crown, that's great stuff! Alan Menken's music score is more folksy this time around which doesn't always work with the power some of his prior scores had, but there are still sparks of brilliance, and a uniqueness about it.

5. Waking Sleeping Beauty -- Can you tell I like Disney? This documentary feature chronicles the Disney Animation studio from its shaky status in the 1970s after Walt's death, through the success of The Lion King. The film is composed almost entirely of footage shot at the time by Don Hahn and his pals. We see glimpses of John Lasseter and Tim Burton. We follow Glen Keane and Andreas Deja. But we are also taken behind the curtain to some of the strife involving Michael Eisner, Jeffrey Katzenberg and Roy Disney, when men who came in to save the studio began to make things more difficult. It's a fascinating and pretty candid look at things. I only hope someone makes a film similarly covering the later years someday (1995-2008 or so) when things were just as tumultuous. Also of particular value is the film's sentiment for lyricist Howard Ashman, and how his death disrupted things. It's a shame this film wasn't nominated for Best Documentary Feature.

4. Blue Valentine -- This is by no means a fun film. But it's harsh and real. It follows a couple whose marriage is falling apart, intercut with flashbacks of how they got together. They were mostly brought together through her pregnancy (it isn't his, but he offers to marry her anyway). But things descend as they fight all the time. He wants to be with their daughter, she thinks he's not serious enough about anything. He wants to rekindle their romance, she wants to be "realistic". In the end, I feel like she comes off meaner. It's a sad movie. But you also recognize why each one feels the way they do about the relationship because of the flashbacks. We know the relationship each one had with their parents, and in the end both want what's best for their daughter, though from vastly different perspectives. Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams give performances that transcend normal dramatic acting. The movie feels voyeuristic; it has a reality. It's pretty much summed up in the little song he sings with his ukelele: you always hurt the ones you love. This is the most adult film I've seen all year.

3. The Fighter -- I love movies that have an authentic sense of time and place. Watching The Fighter really does feel like being in Lowell with these people. This is due in no small part to its location shooting. The entire cast is great, and there are moments of humor that are very real. Not the comedy of a Hollywood screenwriter; the comedy of "types" and the way they behave. Christian Bale pulls no punches in his performance as a crack-addict washed-up former boxer. In fact, one of the few reasons the film isn't higher on this list is that he almost steals the movie for the first half. But the film levels off and gives Wahlberg his time to shine as well. I like Amy Adams in most things, and she is great here. In prior films she was playing "sweet", but here she gets to be undeniably hot. Many "true story" sports movies get treacly and maudlin, but The Fighter avoids much of this. It hits some familiar notes, but never feels too formulaic to me. It doesn't have the artificial feeling that The Blind Side did.

2. The King's Speech -- A movie that's been pretty universally praised, and deservedly so. It looks at the fragility of the royal family, humanizing the figureheads. It tells us about the goings-on behind Edward's abdication and such. But its primary focus is on Colin Firth's portrayal of a stuttering man trying to get by in a public arena. It feels very much like a stage play, in that it's dialogue-driven, but also is shot and cut in such a way as to prevent boredom. It's part costume drama, part buddy movie, and it works. It will very likely win the Best Picture Oscar. And unlike some in previous years, this one's actually good.

...and now finally, my pick for the best movie of 2010...

1. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World -- Scott Pilgrim was easily my favorite movie of the year. Whether or not other films had more dramatic or technical merit, this one is like an old T-shirt that just feels right. Maybe part of appreciating it comes in being someone of my generation. But I loved it. I loved the humor and the effects and the brilliant touches of music and sound throughout. Truly, this film has such a dense and varied sound design it was robbed of an Oscar nomination. It's well-cast and maintains its Canadian sensibilities. I think it's Edgar Wright's best movie so far. While it could have used a bit more of the Scott/Kim backstory, it succeeds pretty well. There are a few things I might change, and I'm glad they went with a different ending from the one planned, but on the whole, it's a great experience. I hope it becomes a cult favorite worthy of midnight screenings. This movie deserves it. I heart Scott Pilgrim so much.

I Feel the Earth Move

2011-02-23T17:40:00.002-05:00

For any readers out there who care, yes I will be posting thoughts on the past two episodes of Glee. I just haven't been in the frame of mind to do so. A lot of crud is going down right now, and I don't have the time or inclination to wax on about Ke$ha music.

However, the metaphorical destruction of my world cannot compare to the literal destruction brought by the earthquake in Christchurch, New Zealand this week. It seems amazing since I was just discussing New Zealand on Sunday, saying it was a great place to be right now. The earthquake has left many dead, and caused significant damage. With a name like Christchurch, wouldn't it be great if the Christian Church did indeed help out significantly? If nothing else, let's pray for the people of New Zealand, and those visiting. If you are able, consider donating through the Red Cross to earthquake relief, or perhaps other efforts for the Kiwi people if you can.

As for me, I can't help hoping now that the earth swallows up some of those who've made my life so miserable recently. Oh well. In times like these I try to reassure myself that though I am poorer than many, I am richer than most.

Small Sparks, White Woods

2011-02-14T10:49:00.004-05:00

For anyone still wondering the origin of macaroni waffles, more information (in a way) is in the following poem. I wrote it in college in two forms; this is a third re-write, but relies heavily on the first version. If some of the sexual imagery offends you, I trust you'll take it in the spirit it was meant. It was college. The title came rather fortuitously. I was shelving books at the library, and happened to have in my hand four books: one each by Bertrice Small, Nicholas Sparks, Stephen White and Stuart Woods. I thought it an excellent title, and found imagery to match it.

As before, may it be known that this poem is my intellectual property and should not be reproduced or redistributed in whole or in part without my express wishes. You may however link to this site, should you want to share it.

Like most of my work at the time, this was written for Kate Horrigan. If you should stumble upon this, Katie, I hope it brings you happiness.

Small Sparks, White Woods

for my muse

She stepped in right behind me,

Into the woods, my little red

-haired soulmate, and there we stood

In the Forest of Touching Souls.

These were my woods, where words were a whispered

Secret shared in paperbark.

"Welcome to my birch society," I told her, and she smiled and nodded.

I led her to where the trees open

To nature's hidden pleasure...

We saw it — the Giving Tree, now but a Stump

And Silverstein doesn't come around anymore

(that hypocrite).

Slowly we danced in a walk sort of way

To rest on the beautifully beheaded tree.

As we sat on that Stump

The wind blew in hard around it

In nature's cunnilingus

And we heard the Stump moan, so we shifted our weight

And she sighed again for us in joyful silence.

I sat with red-haired Aikika there.

Aikika I called her, for it suited the young Hor-

rigan, and I tapped her shoulder

Like a maple for her syrup.

The wind blew in hard around her.

She took in the wonder I already knew

While we stroked our noses methodically

And frivolously upon the Tree.

Time blew on,

And we spoke of diverse and fantastic things;

Of Billy Joe's hair, of cookies and sex,

Of Chaplin, and macaroni waffles,

Always with a friendly smile that knew more

Than it told or understood.

Entwined, we sat in my woods

And wasted precious time

As closeness demands.

We had to hold on to these simpler times

Before the wind blew one of us

away.

For Valentine's Day (though the silliest of holidays)

2011-02-14T10:16:00.002-05:00

Mine eyes he clos'd, but op'n left the Cell

Of Fancy my internal sight, by which

Abstract as in a trance methought I saw,

Though sleeping, where I lay, and saw the shape

Still glourious before whom awake I stood;

[...]Under his forming hands a Creature grew,

Manlike, but different sex, so lovely fair,

That what seem'd fair in all the World, seem'd now

Mean, or in her summ'd up, in her contain'd

And in her looks, which from that time infus'd

Sweetness into my heart, unfelt before,

And into all things from her Air inspir'd

The spirit of love and amorous delight.

She disappear'd, and left me dark, I wak'd

To find her, or for ever to deplore

Her loss and other pleasures all abjure:

When out of hope, behold her, not far off

Such as I saw her in my dream, adorn'd

With what all Earth or Heaven could bestow

To make her amiable: on she came

Led by her Heav'nly Maker, though unseen

And guided by his voice, nor uninform'd

of nuptial Sanctity and Marriage Rites:

Grace was in all her steps, Heav'n in her Eye,

In every gesture dignity and love.

I overjoy'd could not forbear aloud.

[...]She heard me thus, and though divinely brought,

Yet Innocence and Virgin Modesty,

Her virtue and the conscience of her worth,

That would be woo'd, and not unsought but won,

Not obvious, not obtrusive, but retir'd,

The more desirable, or to say all,

Nature herself, though pure of sinful thought,

Wrought in her so, that seeing me, she turn'd;

I follow'd her, she what was Honour knew,

And with obsequious Majesty approv'd

My pleading reason. To the Nuptial Bow'r

I led her blushing like the Morn: all Heav'n,

And happy Constellations on that hour

Shed their selectest influence; the Earth

Gavesign of gratulation, and each Hill;

Joyous the Birds; fresh Gales and gentle Airs

Whisper'd it to the Woods, and from their wings

Flung Rose, flung Odours from the spicy shrub

Disporting, till the amourous Bird of Night

Sung Spousal, and bid haste the Ev'ning Star

On his Hill top, to light the bridal Lamp.

[...]yet when I approach

Her loveliness, so absolute she seems

And in herself complete, so well to know

Her own, that what she wills to do or say,

Seems wisest, virtuousest, discreetest, best;

All higher knowledge in her presence falls

Degraded, Wisdom in discourse with her

Loses discount'nanc't, and like folly shows;

Authority and Reason on her wait,

As one intended first, not after made

Occasionally; and to consúmmate all,

Greatness of mind and nobleness their seat

Build in her loveliest, and create an awe

About her, as a guard Angelic plac't.

[...]Neither her ourside form'd so fair, nor aught

In procreation common to all kinds

(Though higher of the genial Bed by far,

And with mysterious reverence I deem)

So much delights me, as those graceful acts,

Those thousand decencies that daily flow

From all her words and actions, mixt with Love

And sweet compliance, which declare unfeign'd

Union of Mind, or in us both one Soul

—John Milton, Paradise Lost Book VIII

GLEE: "Silly Love Songs"

2011-02-11T17:21:00.002-05:00

Please excuse the lateness of these reflections (though considering how late most of the others went up, this is downright early). With Top Shot now on Tuesday nights, I wasn't able to post these right after the show. It's proving a lot harder to be consistent with this than it was with Lost. And yes, I do still try to watch as much TV "live" as I can. It's just not the same otherwise.

Why is the series so inconsistent about its use of character POV voice-over? I like when the do it. They did it in the pilot. It's a good way to make internal monologue jokes. But it seems they now only do it once in a blue moon. This episode had three separate character voice-overs. I wish they'd make them more regular. Otherwise, it feels like an odd break of format.

It's Valentine's Day approaching, and Finn is feeling guilty about kissing Quinn last episode. (Did I not mention that? Finn kissed Quinn last episode.) Now that he is the captain of a winning football team, the girls are back on his side and throwing themselves at him (at least, that's how he sees it). But he can't get Quinn to kiss him again. So he devises a plan: a kissing booth. All proceeds go to glee club. The club is not enthused and sees it — correctly — as a shameless attempt to get all the girls in school to kiss him.

Finn also mentions that when he was with Rachel he was thinking of Quinn. This is curious since the whole time he was with Quinn, he was thinking about Rachel. I guess the heart wants what it wants. How long will this Betty/Veronica thing go on?

I am really missing the ponytail on Quinn. Diana's a lovely girl, and her hair looks great all the time, but I just don't understand why once she drops the Cheerios uniform she can't put her hair up once in awhile.

The show has a wonderful self-referential moment in this episode. I love when things that seem like potential annoyances get addressed on the show. This time around, it's Santana and her mean wisecracking. The club calls her out for being nothing but a voice of meanness. Santana responds that everyone loves her because "I keep it real and I'm hilarious." The scene then cuts to Santana sobbing and saying that she's just being honest. I found it really funny, and even though it was VERY cartoonish, it helped remind us that Santana has feelings other than jealousy.

In this episode, the show starts moving closer to real queer romance. Kurt and Blaine find they are growing closer and flirty. Blaine asks Kurt to help him make a big gesture to his crush on Valentine's Day. Like so many in scripted romances before him, Kurt assumes Blaine means him. But he doesn't. Blaine's into a guy at the Gap. Kurt feels so stupid for making it all up in his head.

Kurt shares all this with Rachel and Mercedes at a slumber party. ...I'm sorry, why is Kurt invited to girl sleepovers? No matter how much they want to treat him like "an honorary girl" there comes a point when this is just weird. Though I suppose I should be grateful that they FINALLY took him outside of Dalton.

The "leaving Dalton" thing becomes a theme of the episode when Blaine with Kurt's help convinces the Warblers to perform off-campus. He wants to use them to serenade his boy crush at the Gap. And they do. But once again I feel like it's a weird song choice. They do "When I Get You Alone." At least this time there's a story reason for Blaine to be singing lead, but why does he get EVERY solo? Furthermore, he's singing to a guy, but they keep the lyric like he's singing to a girl. Is this just for discretion? There doesn't seem to be anything discreet about Blaine's actions. The way the number is staged though is pretty good. It got me thinking though that if anyone tried this in real life, boy or girl, they would be seriously accused of harassment.

...And thankfully the show doesn't shy away from some of this reality. There's no harassment allegation, but the Gap guy tells Blaine off, saying that the little stunt almost got him fired. He also says that he's not "out" at work, and can't be Blaine's boyfriend because Blaine is too young. Blaine is devastated, realizing it was mostly in his head. Though I do sort of wish the Gap guy HADN'T been gay. This mythical "gaydar" thing is annoying after awhile. Kurt even makes a crack that the guy's orientation was obvious from his haircut. This sort of stereotyping is dangerous after awhile.

Meanwhile, Puck is wrestling with amorous feelings for the new wrestler girl in Glee (sorry, I have trouble remembering her name). Mr. Shuster has assigned the group to take turns singing what they think is the best love song. To woo his lady fair, Puck chooses Queen's "Fat-Bottomed Girls". I like the song, and this version was very nice. The humor of reaction shots played just right during the performance. It was story-relevant and a rocking tune; great choice. Santana is terribly jealous now, and the new girl was somewhat offended by the song.

Throughout the episode, there's this clumsy and charming courtship stuff as Puck tries to earn the girl's respect and love. I thought it was very nicely written. Some of it reminded me of things on Popular. He offers her a Ring Pop and asks her to a pre-Valentine's date. She accepts, but then stands him up. There's also a laugh-out-loud catfight when Santana tries to take her on for stealing Puck. As you can imagine, Santana gets tossed around like a ragdoll, but keeps coming, never letting herself be beaten.

Mike Change and Artie team up, congratulating themselves on being football players with the hot girlfriends. Nothing conceited about that thinking, right? Their choice of song is Michael Jackson's "P.Y.T." And it doesn't work at all. All the Mike Chang dancing in the world can't save it. It was wrong when Justin Guarini sang it on American Idol (and that image kept blasting through my mind during the episode), and it's wrong here. It's in no way one of the best love songs ever (seriously, "Fat Bottomed Girls" is better). It's one of the weaker tracks on Thriller. It's a decent dance track, but they just did Michael last episode and so much more effectively. I hope this doesn't mean we'll get Michael songs peppered through every episode. Lay off him for awhile. (Though if they do any more songs from Thriller, I vote for "Human Nature".)

Finn has set up his Charlie Brown-looking kissing booth. He has a line running down the hall of girls to kiss him. At one point, Rachel comes for a kiss claiming to be over him, but she's really not. Finn gives her a Christmas gift he had bought her before they broke up: it's a necklace with a gold star. That is just the sweetest thing ever. Knowing Rachel's affinity for gold stars (which unfortunately gets more and more left behind), it's the best thing he could give her. This doesn't help her feelings subside at all.

Quinn refuses to visit the kissing booth for fear it will make Sam jealous and stir up new feelings. But ultimately she buckles. Sam sees them in proximity (but doesn't see any kissing) and does indeed get jealous. Finn and Quinn begin meeting secretly. Santana knows this and decides to get some justice. She contracts mono from a boy in the nurses' office for the express purpose of giving it to Finn via his kissing booth. Finn then passes it on to Quinn. Apparently, Santana has has mononucleosis so many times she's built up some sort of immunity.

This is just one more television series to continue the "kissing disease" thing about mono. I've never known anybody who ever contracted the disease this way, though I'm sure it happens.

It's Tina's turn to perform the best love song. Her choice is "My Funny Valentine". I suppose no Valentine's Day is complete without this obvious choice. But can I just say that I hate this song? I don't get its appeal at all. And I'm big into classic 1940s-era love ballads and show tunes but this song does NOTHING for me. So I was glad to see that it got a somewhat comical treatment in that Tina is so overcome with love for Mike Chang that she starts sobbing harder and harder until she can't finish the song. It's funny and leaves the song as a cast-off. Unfortunately, it also does Tina a great disservice because she almost never gets to sing solos on this show.

Kurt finally comes out and tells Blaine that he thought the Valentine's crush was him. With this out in the open, the two move one-step up in their relationship. They sort of acknowledge that they will be "friends" but keep it on the down low. It's left with a sort of ambiguity, but it's more than the audience going "wait, are they an item?" every week.

Rachel performs "Firework" as her choice. Why? That's not really a love song! And anyway, she's got better taste than that. Really, it's because Finn says when he kissed Quinn there were fireworks. But why should that mean we are subjected to yet ANOTHER Katy Perry song?? Of all the great love songs in the world, you give us THIS? That's three Katy Perry songs just this year! Despite the fact that I hate the song, and it's bizarre "plastic bag" lyric ripped right out of American Beauty, I was glad to see the show get back into the style of the first season. The song is done with cuts and sort of fantasy elements that they've started getting back to this year, but not enough I think. Not that every episode needs to feel like a music video, but I like that element. It also made this song a bit more digestible.

In the end, the couples and the singles all go to Breadsticks, where the special entertainment is the Warblers performing Paul McCartney's "Silly Love Songs". Now this is more like it. Admittedly, it's not a fantastic song, it's sort of silly. But that's kind of the point. Paul KNOWS it's silly. He admits its silly, but says there's a place for silly love songs. And it's a song I like. The best thing about the song is the overlap of lyrics and the arrangement for the Warblers hit this bit perfectly. I also love that they vocalize the "ba da da da da" when the brass usually comes in.

The Valentine's Day episode was definitely the best of the three holiday shows this year. While not quite as good as the Super Bowl episode, it maintained many of the stronger elements of the show and continued to be funny. Surprisingly, Sue Sylvester was completely absent from the show and I didn't miss her. The love pentangle of Sam, Rachel, Quinn, Finn, Puck, etc. continued to develop new permutations. The audience got to feel that Kurt and Blaine were headed somewhere. And there was some decent music. In case you were wondering, I started thinking about what I might consider one of the greatest love songs ever to sing in glee club. I came up with Bob Dylan's "Make You Feel My Love", John Lennon's "Love" and "Woman", and "The Origin of Love" from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. There are so many, and I hope they do more shows where they can explore a variety of songs. How about when Mr. Shue gives an assignment, they actually do it for once instead of singing about whatever they think is relevant (you hear me, Rachel? Do you really think "Firework" is the best love song of all time??).

Songs in tonight's episode:

Tell Him (actually this was just playing at the sleepover, but I like the song and the fact that it was an LP. Yea LPs!)

Fat-Bottomed Girls

P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)

When I Get You Alone

My Funny Valentine

Firework

Silly Love Songs

Next Week's episode: Sue Sylvester is in a funk after losing, and the only thing to cheer her up is... joining glee club. I hope this comes off better than it sounds.

GLEE: "The Sue Sylvester Shuffle"

2011-02-08T18:16:00.002-05:00

The post-Super Bowl episode of Glee was surprisingly one of the best episodes of the season. I went into it expecting spectacle, retreads of storylines we were tired of, and an overindulgence, but instead we got an episode which recalled the best of season one.

It opens with a Cheerios rehearsal. Remember when Glee used to use the cheerleaders a lot more? I've been really missing that, and was glad that they opened the episode this way. Granted, it was Katy Perry, who I have no respect for at all. But her music is just the sort of thing trashy teenage cheerleading was made for. The girls do "California Gurls" complete with bikini tops on some of them, megaphone bras that shoot confetti and blue Katy Perry wigs. There are guys doing motocross stunts while girls hula hoop with rings of fire. But Sue finds herself bored by it. That's interesting because I also think that ultimately if there is nothing but spectacle it will eventually bore. Anyway, Sue is now on a quest to top herself for competition so she can feel that rush again when they win for the seventh consecutive year.

And Sue finds that rush in... a human cannonball. She's so intrigued by the idea of firing a girl out of a cannon that she buys one. The girls are not keen on this idea. Sue tries to get Brittany to agree to being shot from the cannon, but she fears dying. The Cheerios are not convinced that it will be safe. Sue is reprimanded by the principal, and she responds by saying she will get consent from the girls. So in case you were wondering where the line is drawn when it comes to endangering cheerleaders in a public school, hoops of fire are okay, cannons are not.

The show also returns to the football team. And not just in a "we're on the football team" way, but actually with games and such. This seems an obvious choice with it being post-Super Bowl and all, but it's also something we haven't seen since early this year. Karofsky is making things difficult for Finn, and the guys in general who aren't in glee club don't get along with those that do. This all feels very much like season one. Although there's a nice nostalgia to it, there's an element that feels like a retread of that "Single Ladies" episode. What happened to all of last years players? Anyway, Coach Bieste and Mr. Shue try to join forces to get the team cohesive. Bieste knows cohesive teams win championships.

After the encounter with the principal, Sue Sylvester has a fabulous, destructive tantrum destroying everything in her path. And then just when you think it's over, she's in the locker room still destroying things!

Coach Bieste makes it mandatory for all the football players to join glee club (like I said, it's a bit of a reverse on the "Single Ladies" episode). This doesn't sit well with either group. Rachel objects to the presence of Karofksy, "a known homophobe". At first I thought this point was being made too hard, but when I remembered that Rachel has two gay dads, it made more sense coming from her. To unite the men on the team, Mr. Shue proposes that the glee club performs at half-time of the big game. What will they be doing? Michael Jackson's "Thriller", the grand-daddy of spectacle song and dance numbers. I knew this was coming as it had been rumored for months. I was very glad however that they didn't try to do an all Michael episode. They also didn't just stick with "Thriller", which has been done. Instead, they put a Glee spin on it by mashing it up with The Yeah Yeah Yeahs' "Heads Will Roll". I loved this idea. I haven't heard a lot of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' stuff, but I remember seeing them no Conan years ago and liking it a lot. The team still has some reservations about glee club not being cool.

Rachel and Puck perform a song for the group, and it seems to go down okay with them. I didn't think it was the best choice to showcase that glee club isn't gay, but it was nice and I dug the Puckleberry vocals which we don't often get.

It did start to bother me though that glee club was still seen as the height of uncool even after the Britney Spears episode where they incited a riot (and orgy?). It also proves that they should do more performances of relevant music for the school, and more of this stuff at competition instead of just classic rock and showtunes. Their performance at sectionals was a step up, but it can get better.

This has nothing to do with the episode, but there was a special Chevy ad with a Glee performance in it. It was a lot of fun and made me think how awesome it would be for the show to do an episode where all the music is classic American ad jingles.

Sue decides to fight back against Mr. Shue by moving the Cheerios' slot in competition to the day of the big football game, thus making the cheerleaders in glee choose one or the other. Again, this is terribly similar to when the football players in glee had to choose last year. But it's organic to Sue's character so I'm okay with it. Quinn is still concerned about her popularity and after missing so much of the Cheerios last year, she reluctantly drops out of glee club. Santana and Brittany follow.

It turns out Karofsky is sort of talented, and starts getting into the glee thing. The show teetered dangerously on a television cliche here where bullies are all turned into nice guys through song and dance. But it didn't go quite that far. Karofsky does suggest to Finn that the guys do a kind of warm-up number to prepare for the game. So they perform (in their zombie make-up for "Thriller") a song by, who else, The Zombies. It was a good song choice, and pretty fun to watch. I like when the guys are allowed to perform themselves every now and then.

Now that the football team isn't throwing slushies in everyone's faces, the power in the school shifts to... the hockey team! There's a hilarious moment when the school's as yet unseen hockey team show up and slushy all the football players. The hockey kids all have stereotypical Canadian Wayne Gretzky-looking hairdos. It was very funny. The sudden jolt of unpopularity is too much for Karofsky, and he quits the team. The other non-glee football players join him. They don't believe Bieste will prevent them from playing the big game because she has no team with just five guys.

At this point the show shifts back to Dalton Academy, where the Warblers are hard at work on another song. It was a bizarre choice this time around, and I didn't like it so much. Certainly not as much as their previous ones. I was watching realizing I hadn't missed Kurt at all in the episode. Why did we need this scene. Then I thought that perhaps at least this would be a chance to see him in his element, just to remind folks he's there, and not have him interact with everyone else. You know, like I suggested in one of my reviews a few weeks ago. This was not the case. After the song, Blaine and Kurt have lunch with Rachel and Mercedes and discuss the football situation. I would have much rather not seen Kurt at all in this episode. The Warblers did make me wonder though why New Directions never perform anything a capella. That would be really cool, and better than having to find crazy reasons for those band people to always be around and always know how to play every song.

Kurt is surprised by the news and wonders why Finn doesn't tell him any of this, since they now share a house. This is a VERY good point. Up to now I hadn't thought of it, maybe assuming Dalton was a boarding school. But since it's clear that Kurt and Finn do live together, why DON'T they discuss this stuff? And as a corollary, why don't we just see Kurt at home instead of constantly having to come up with reasons for him to run into people at Dalton???? On a similar note, I miss some of the home-life in general of the group. We got more of that in season one. I really miss Mr. Shue's private life. And Terri. Anyway, Blaine points out that regulations for high school football are less strict and that they only need a few more players on the team to be able to play. Kurt says they will both be at the game since "we love football. Well, Blaine loves football. I love scarves."

The girls get a wacky idea: they will be the needed extra players. Bieste is against it, as is Mr. Shue. But they are insistent, saying that they don't really have to play, they'll just lie down on the ground during plays so they don't get hurt. Now, the new girl is a wrestler, so she can play football no problem. But I was concerned about Tina getting hurt. Anyway, they begrudgingly allow it since they have no choice.

And it was a stupid decision. All the good players on the team are gone, so McKinley is losing. Finn, Sam and Puck can't win by themselves (sorry Mike Chang). Tina decides she's tired of just lying on the ground, and when one of the opposing players fumbles the ball, she grabs it and makes a run for the end zone. It's a good play for the team, but she gets sacked pretty hard. She's ultimately okay, but it worried everyone. This plays to some very interesting ideas regarding feminism and such. Even after all the "girls can do whatever boys can" stuff the modern society likes to feed us, there is still this fear factor about girls and football. It also made me wonder why there is no girls' high school football. Doesn't Title IX sort of dictate it needs to be offered? If it was girl on girl and not giant guys going to sack them, might it be okay? I'm just thinking out loud here. Girls play hockey with no problem. But for some reason football seems to maintain this great American divide where boys are jocks and girls are cheerleaders. I don't know why that is or whether it should be changed. I'm just thinking out loud.

Half-time is coming, and the team is getting creamed. So Finn tells Puck to convince their AWOL players to perform the song at half-time, while he tries to get the girls back before they leave for cheerleading. Finn convinces Quinn that she's awesome and the other girls that they love glee club, and they don't go with Sue. Sue is mad. I wonder who she plans to shoot off in a cannon now? I was so hoping that she would do it herself, but that didn't happen.

Puck assures the group that Bieste will let them play the second half if they get out and perform. The guys all don't want to see the team lose anymore and agree. All except Karofsky. He just can't bring himself to risk public humiliation. Everyone else goes to put on their zombie make-up. Okay, gotta say something about that zombie make-up. It looks awesome, and I will forgive these points because it's TV, but there's logical problems with it. First, everyone is doing their own make-up, and I don't believe that those football players would all be skilled at it. In reality, the girls would be doing some of their make-up. Second, it's pretty involved detailing and some of them have latex appliances. That stuff takes TIME. Even with everyone doing their own make-up, I've gotta think it would be at least a twenty minute job. That is all.

The "Thriller" number goes spectacularly. As the girls open with "Heads Will Roll", the crowd gets really into it. As Karofksy starts back to his seat, he is overcome by how awesome it is and and wants to join in. So he throws on his jersey and does. It's good to see him smile in this episode. Everything goes fantastically. Coach Bieste even tells them to leave their zombie make-up on to intimidate the other team. They play a good second half, and when it comes right down to the wire, Finn concocts a plan to distract the quarterback so he'll fumble the snap. The players start chanting "brains.... brains...!" The girls join in, then Coach Bieste, and soon before you can say "Quack quack quack" it's a Mighty Ducks moment where it seems everyone is chanting "Brains!" The quarterback's concentration is blown and McKinley wins the game. ...On a totally unrelated note, why do zombies always want brains? There must be zombies somewhere that prefer heart or pancreas, right?

Things did not go so well for Sue Sylvester. She loses the competition and is chastised for even entertaining the notion of endangering a student's life with that cannon stunt. We learn all this in an interview Sue has with Katie Couric. We don't get to see any of that competition. We don't know what exactly happened. Were they disqualified? I didn't like hearing about it this way, and the scene felt very artificial. Admittedly, it is the sort of flimsy news story Katie Couric WOULD cover, but it just didn't feel relevant enough to have her in the show. This scene was easily the weakest of the show, and I kept expecting it to be a dream but Sue never woke up.

That scene aside, the episode was pretty spectacular. Good performances, great character moments, some of that witty humor. The "Thriller" number was great, and they should do more things like that at regionals this year. Karofsky is still his mean old self at the end of the episode. Finn expects he will join glee club, but he refuses. He also suggests Karofsky apologizes to Kurt, which he refuses to do. While it still makes him a jerk, I liked that they didn't try to suddenly change things in one episode. This episode was good though for the redemption of his character; he's been a horrible one-note stereotype for too long. We got to see a lighter side of him, which I liked. But I'm also really glad he didn't just stay friends with them all right away. I'm hopeful now that they will write this storyline more organically and it will be more enjoyable. Also, it was great to not have to watch The Let's All Love Kurt Hour for a change.

Songs in tonight's episode:

California Gurls

Need You Now

She's Not There

Bills Bills Bills

Thriller/Heads Will Roll

bonus: See the USA in Your Chevrolet

Next episode:

It's Valentine's Day! And there's a kissing booth set up. I ask you, have you ever seen a kissing booth outside of television?

A Joke on Nielsen

2011-02-04T23:45:00.002-05:00

Super Bowl Sunday is fast approaching. It is generally one of television's highest-rated nights of the year. But how exactly do ratings work? Simply, they take a tiny group of people and claim that whatever those people are watching can be logically applied to everyone. That ultimately the same proportion of people are watching those things too. While this makes sense in a kind of theoretical statistical sense, it has always bothered me that... what if it wasn't?

For example, let's say you scan a high school cafeteria and choose one table to represent the population. And you just happen to pick the nerd table. You might come to the erroneous conclusion that most Americans wear glasses or study during lunch. Is it likely? Maybe not. But is it POSSIBLE that all the people who are watching Perfect Couples are the ones without Nielsen hook-ups? Or that the reason Two and a Half Men is still on the air is because like thirty people in America are the only ones watching it? Yes. That is possible.

So this year I am making a proposition to anyone who is a current Nielsen household. Don't watch the Super Bowl at home, or on any TV with a Nielsen hook-up. For just one year, let's try a little experiment. Go to a friends' house. Have a party. We know that all over America people will be watching the game. So please do watch it, but don't let Nielsen know you are. Let them think you aren't. Perhaps when Monday comes around and everyone is discussing the game, the commercials and the half-time show, but the ratings are almost non-existent, the flaws in the system will be made obvious. If nothing else, I think it's a great joke to play on them.

If you like the idea, pass it on!

This Makes Me Happy

2011-01-29T21:26:00.003-05:00

I found this two days ago. It just makes me happy. It's a bit too repetitive and some of the lyrics aren't brilliant, but darn it I want me a Star Trek girl!

It's not quite as brilliant as Bree Sharp's "David Duchovny", which you can also check out a fan video with the song here:

...nerd girls make me happy. Goodnight, my nerdy someone...

Oscar reactions

2011-01-25T08:52:00.002-05:00

The Academy Award nominees were just announced so I guess it's that time again: to share my reactions. I have a couple more films to see before I'm comfortable posting a top 10 list for the year, but one will be forthcoming in the next couple of weeks. Anyway, let's look at some of the surprises, choices, and omissions on Oscar's roster this year.

TECH AWARDS

Visual Effects

It's not often you get 5 nominees in this category, so that's cool. The nominees are Alice in Wonderland, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, Hereafter, Inception, Iron Man 2. Right now I think Inception is the front-runner, though Iron Man could possibly take it. This is only the second or third time a Harry Potter film has been nominated in this category. Though I have to ask: where is Scott Pilgrim?? Why does best visual effects mean "most CG"? I guess Alice deserves some credit for shrinking Helena Bonham Carter.

Sound Mixing and Sound Editing

The two sound categories are among the hardest to call. You usually find a Pixar film there, and Toy Story 3 did make it in. Though after Wall-E lost two years ago, I have no faith in the Academy's choices in these categories. King's Speech gets a welcome nod for its mix, probably due in no small part to the recreation of radio broadcasts and such. But where the heck is Scott Pilgrim? They nominated Salt, but not Pilgrim? Sorry, Scott Pilgrim had the most immersive, fun and interesting sound I've heard in a movie in a long time. Maybe if the Academy played some Legend of Zelda they'd realize how awesome it was.

Film Editing

No real surprises here. Seems a solid group. I'm thinking it likely goes to Black Swan or The Fighter.

Cinematography

I'm glad they didn't nominate any obvious "we were shot on video because we're edgy" movies in this category. Inception's is interesting because we look at several different styles of film throughout, which could give it a win, but right now I'm thinking Black Swan. And it troubles me how many things Social Network is up for. I haven't seen it yet, but I don't expect to like it. And after so many awards went to the terrible Benjamin Button a couple years ago, I fear Fincher's newest film may repeat history.

DESIGN AWARDS

Art Direction

Interesting again that a Harry Potter movie gets a nod in this category. But I'm sorry, what exactly was so award-worthy in this installment that didn't appear in any other Potter movie? Every single element was featured in one of them, and the film is set mostly outside! Don't tell me they were nominated just for the tent! Alice's was interesting enough, but won't win. It's always odd in this category when period pieces are up with fantasy. This is probably Inception's, unless Alice squeaks by or there is a lot of push for King's Speech.

Costume Design

No matter what costumes are nominated, it will always come down to a period piece winning. The Tempest got a nomination; really interesting. If you've not seen it, the outfits are very punk-Elizabethan and most characters have zippers all over their clothes. I'm surprised to see I Am Love here as well.

Make-up

Three nominees and the only one I've heard of is The Wolfman. That's not good. And even that feels more like a "we love Rick Backer" vote than because anyone actually thinks the Wolfman is worthy of anything. A bit surprising Alice did NOT make it here. Guess the white-face thing is soooo passe. Like every year, there's a glitch on the Oscar website, so the title of the nominee Barney's Vision is not listed, and it looks like the movie is called "Achievement in makeup". ...There should BE a movie called Achievement in Makeup!

THOSE OTHER GUYS

Now for those nominees for the "other" films that nobody ever sees.

Animated Short

As usual, many of these are from other countries. "Day & Night", which debuted with Toy Story 3 is up. Pixar usually gets a nomination. I liked that one though because it was a blend of 2-D and CG animation. But this does remind me that Lasseter had promised to get Walt Disney Animation back to doing shorts and releasing them with films. They've only released like two. They've made like six. Glad the silly Roadrunner cartoon wasn't up there though; it just wasn't good. Warner Bros. don't really know how to make shorts anymore. I mean, Disney doesn't always know what they're doing either in that regard these days, but a CG Looney Tune is just weird.

Live-Action Short

And I've never heard of any of them. But that's usually the case here. Boy I wish there were more shorts screened with movies, like in the old days. Maybe if you had the option, like "Such-and-such movie" at these times with short, or at these times without short.

Documentary Short

Also no idea about any of them. "Poster Girl" is about the Iraq war, so that might sway things for it. I never know how to call these.

Documentary Feature

Yea, films I've heard of! I've heard of at least three of these. The obvious frontrunner here is Exit Through the Gift Shop, which I still haven't seen. But these categories don't always go where you think they will, and Restrepo has been getting some buzz. It's notable that the Joaquin Phoenix fake I'm Still Here didn't make it here, since it was revealed not to be real. I wonder if it would have gotten a nomination, had that been kept under wraps. Also, any hopes Phoenix had of a best actor nomination for that film were dashed today. I think that would have been interesting. Granted, it's a competitive category. I wonder if maybe the Academy voters were ticked at him for pulling a stunt like that and calling it art.

Foreign Language

I always find it funny when Canada gets a nomination in this category. The only way to top it would be for the US to get one if someone did a film entirely in another language, though I think Academy rules prohibit it. This is a weird category that only allows one film from each country, but is sort of a dumping ground for foreign cinema, but also has rules about it being a foreign language. It's weirdly complicated. Biutiful might be a front-runner, since Javier Bardem got an acting nomination for it. I'm most surprised and happy that Greece's Dogtooth was recognized. I've yet to see it, but it's one I'd really like to. I don't think I can adequately describe it, but it sounds so messed up, and that piques my interest. I hope it wins.

Animated Feature

Stupid Academy rules that limit nominees to 3. It's pretty much a foregone conclusion that Toy Story 3 will win, which is a shame. Good to see How to Train Your Dragon up. It's a good film. It's NOT a GREAT film, but it's the best Dreamworks has ever made, or at least the best CG they've ever made. It still has issues, but the Toothless animation is wonderful. All of its success goes to former Disney genius Chris Sanders (the guy responsible for Lilo and Stitch). We were all hoping the third slot would go to Tangled. Unfortunately, it went to the French film The Illusionist, but at least that's a film in its own right. So glad no silly nominees like Despicable Me in that other slot. Remember the year they nominated Shark Tale?? Still, for me Tangled was probably the best animated film of the year, and it's a bummer Disney loses out again. They have never won in this category, and that's a shame.

MUSIC

Score

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM. I'm sure we all saw Hans Zimmer's score for Inception finding its slot here. How To Train Your Dragon's nomination is nice. But it's another sad year for Alan Menken who hasn't been nominated for a Disney film score since I think Pocahontas. While Tangled wasn't is richest or most obvious score, it sparkled with folk elements, and the Kingdom Dance sequence is lovely. Sorry Alan.

Song

Though at least Tangled did get "I See the Light" nominated. In years past it likely would have had several songs nominated. I fear Disney is putting all its weight behind Toy Story 3 (one reason that Disney and Pixar being the same company is a BAD idea). I don't even remember the Randy Newman song from it. It obviously doesn't have the same oomph as "You've Got a Friend in Me". Feels like a sympathy nomination to be honest. Then it's some song no one ever heard of from 127 Hours and one from Country Strong. Glad nothing from Burlesque made it in this category. That's why the Golden Globes will always be the dorky kid-sister of movie award shows. Considering the competition, I'm really pulling for "I See the Light". It will be a travesty if Menken doesn't get another award and get Disney back on track.

THE BIG ONES

Adapted Screenplay

Nice for Winter's Bone to secure a nomination here. At first I wondered why Toy Story 3 was considered an adaptation; is it because it's a sequel? Then I realized: it's because it just STOLE THE PLOT OF THE FIRST TWO MOVIES. There is seriously maybe 30% original material in this movie. So much of it feels like a retread of the other two. Too much sentimentality garnering it nominations it doesn't deserve. A good movie yes, but not as good as the first two and certainly not the masterwork they seem to think it is. Aaron Sorkin is a respected name in Hollywood, and he will probably win for The Social Network. This is one category I'm hoping they do win, at least to beat Toy Story.

Original Screenplay

The King's Speech was good, like a little play. Most nominations here are expected. Christopher Nolan I guess deserves the nomination, but since Inception has been the source of so much frustration, I hope they don't award him with an Oscar for its writing. Great to see The Fighter in this category!

Supporting Actress

Great to see some love for The Fighter!! Amy Adams was her best here. She's been nominated before, but I hope she wins this time. Congrats to Hailee Steinfeld, the young girl in True Grit, for her nomination. Also, a surprise nomination for Jacki Weaver from Animal Kingdom, which I think is Australian.

Supporting Actor

Let's not kid ourselves. This is Christian Bale's category and everything else is window-dressing. I'm glad Jeremy Renner got a nomination for The Town, the only nomination for that film. For a slice of local Massachusetts flavor, you could have a great double-bill with The Town and The Fighter. Maybe that's one reason The Fighter has edged The Town out of every other major category?

Lead Actress

Nicole Kidman slides in on star power for Rabbit Hole. This could very well be Portman's year for Black Swan. However, we should not rule out Michelle Williams and Blue Valentine. Her performance was fantastic (and I've never been a fan of hers). Also one of the more controversial films of the year, and this is its only nomination. It is carried by its performers, and a win for her could be an award for the film. Plus there's the unwritten rule that the Oscar goes to the actress who got naked, so Williams' breasts might buoy her chances (couldn't resist that).

Lead Actor

Slight surprise that Bardem got in for Biutiful. No surprise seeing Eisenberg or Colin Firth in this category. Jeff Bridges won last year, so that likely won't happen again. Too bad Mark Wahlberg, the only major player from The Fighter, didn't get nominated.

Director

Mostly expected choices, with the Oscar likely going to Fincher for the Social Network. While he's a good director, I really hope it doesn't because this isn't the film he deserves an award for. Maybe for Seven he deserved it, or Zodiac, or Fight Club or even Alien 3 for doing something with the mess he was given, but I don't feel good about it being this year. A big congrats to David O. Russell though for his nomination for The Fighter. I wonder if this is a sign that The Fighter might be a serious dark horse in the Best Picture race. Speaking of which...

Best Picture

Once again, ten nominees. I'll hit each one.

Black Swan -- no doubt this would be there

The Fighter -- pleasantly surprised by its nomination. Even though it's a sports movie, and in some ways that makes it predictable, I loved this movie.

Inception -- There was no doubt it would be here, but it won't win.

The Kids Are All Right -- Not a surprise it's here, but it didn't get as many nominations as I'd expected. I haven't seen it (I can't stand Julianne Moore). Now I have to begrudgingly watch it.

I'm also bummed that a title that once brought to mind The Who will now bring to mind lesbian sperm donation.

The King's Speech -- Excellent for this kind of film, and a frontrunner.

127 Hours -- I was really surprised this managed to make the ten. It hasn't generated much beyond nausea. Maybe it's sympathy for Danny Boyle, who's last film won best picture. I really didn't want to have to see this though.

The Social Network -- ...or this. Hope it doesn't win. Fie on Facebook.

Toy Story 3 -- Give me a break.

True Grit -- Not often a remake gets this sort of honor. The Academy loves them some Coen Brothers these days I guess.

Winter's Bone -- This was one of the first films of the year to get serious critical acclaim. I haven't seen it yet, but it's nice that it had the legs to stay in people's minds.

Biggest disappointment: The total shut-out of Scott Pilgrim Vs the World from the whole thing. Last year it was Where the Wild Things Are. No love at all. Not even in sound! I thought it was a lock for sound!

Well, I've only seen 4 of the 10 best picture nominees so far, so I'd better get to viewing!

Re-evaluating Fringe: Part Two

2011-01-20T16:30:00.003-05:00

Rather than pay off last year's cliffhanger right away, the second season of Fringe made us wait four episodes to find out what Bell had to say to Liv. I don't fault the show for this; it's a creative way of doing things. The season opened with things on our side, leading up to Olivia in a delayed car wreck. The season was off to something of a slow start, but wasn't nearly as scattershot as last year. The X-Files parallel continued with the introduction of shape-shifting soldiers from the other universe. These beings have mercury in their blood; they are part organic, part liquid metal. ...which means Fringe just ripped off Terminator 2 as well. But despite the obvious parallels, I liked that the shape-shifting is a messy business and that it requires specific hardware. That element was far more original.

My biggest problem with the opening of the year, and the year as a whole, was that last year finally built up to all the mythology having William Bell behind it, and then that went nowhere. Everyone just went about their business with Massive Dynamic, even though the organization and its leadership are highly suspect. I can see why Olivia has reasons to want to trust Bell, but no one even questions his motives in the least. It wouldn't be until the end of the season that Walter would confront him about why he had his brain sliced up. The writers want to keep Nimoy sympathetic it seems, but I had a real hard time believing the team could just have business as usual with Nina Sharp after everything that happened last year. I will say though that I really liked the storyline with Walter's brain; I thought it was brilliant.

The other smart move the show made was not to drag out the Peter mystery too long. After a few more lovely teases (even though fans knew all along anyway), they addressed the fact that he's from another universe. I liked the reveal of Liv seeing him glimmer. "Peter" was a strong episode, despite the fact that it had a few continuity hiccups. My favorite part was the '80s-style opening credits. It was just before this episode I began suspecting they would make Peter the catalyst for the whole war, and I was right. I'm not sure that all makes sense based on stuff from last year, but I like the storyline overall. The mythology was much cleaner this season. Unfortunately, it was almost too clean when there was no mention of ZFT or such at all until a throwaway reference in the finale.

I think they've gotten a better handle on the Other Side, but it seems they are focused on one other universe now, even though there are supposedly an infinite number. I'm confused whether war is coming to all universes or just our own. It seems to me they would have been safer only dealing with two and not even introducing their multiverse theory last year. Is there a reason only our two universe interact? They've done a good job on the whole dealing with the Other Side, but there have been continuity issues for me. Why do they keep saying Walter is the only one to open a door to the other side when we saw several doors open up last year? They weren't open very long, but they hung there in the sky and things passed through. So I don't get the difference. I don't quite see why the technology is SO advanced on the other side. At first I thought maybe Bell was responsible, but then we learned that wasn't the case. Maybe alternate Bell? It just seems like a bit too much; like they were having too much fun theorizing the other universe. It also doesn't seem consistent to me with the magic typewriters and all. The world we saw in the finale doesn't all seem to gel for me with the glimpses we got last season. I do appreciate little touches though like "Back to the Future starring Eric Stolz". I like things that seem like logical extensions. But there were times it seemed too heavily influenced by "Mirror, Mirror", with people being almost evil twins. The storyline has also now borrowed heavily from Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials. I don't really like mirror-Olivia. We learned that Olivia was hardened and fearless as a result of Walter's experiments. So wouldn't it be more interesting if her counterpart was softer and less aggressive?

There were some good stand-alone stories, and the season was certainly more cohesive. I don't know what to do with random elements like Olivia's sudden bionic hearing that comes and goes or the bowling guru. But it's satisfying enough with X-Files gone. I was glad that Olivia was revealed to be switched at the end because I was trying to figure out when she had the time to dye her hair after the fight. Hope she's not stuck over there too long.

Poem

2011-01-14T09:58:00.002-05:00

May it be known that the following poem is bizarre and you will probably hate it. May it also be known that it is my intellectual property and should not be reproduced or distributed without my permission, however you may link to this page should you so desire.

Anthem

"brave Theof, home! Theand,

free Theof! land the oar!

wave yet, Banner Spangled-Star!"

Thatt does say, "oh!"

(there still was flag hour).

that night, Thee, through proof, gave—

air in bursting bombs—

the glare

(red rockets!),

Theand streaming gallantly so.

Werr watched.

We ramparts the oar-fight

perilous.

Thee? through.

Star's bright 'and stripes broad—

"who's gleaming last twilight's, Thee?!"

At hailed We proudly (so what?).

light early dawns...

the bye...

see? You can say, "oh!"

Least Resistance

2011-01-07T09:37:00.003-05:00

When did we start demonizing the path of least resistance?

I'm sure you know what I mean. In the popular mindset the "path of least resistance" is always seen as the lesser choice; the weaker choice. It's the road that cowards, losers and the ungodly take. We have this notion that we only grow through adversity and struggle, and that therefore the best options are the ones that are hard because the yield the best results. While some of this thought was good-intentioned, I find it grossly backward and misleading. I think it's time we re-evaluated the way the world really works.

The most commonly cited examples are from nature. The one you always hear in sermons, therapy, motivational seminars and the like is the bird hatching from an egg. They say that he has to struggle against that egg or his muscles will never develop. It's only by being trapped in that egg that he develops the strength to break out. We are then all told to be like that. First, let's get something out of the way: humans are not birds. The same goes for illustrations about mothers pushing them out of the nest or they'll never fly. Birds are built that way; humans aren't. Your illustration doesn't hold. If I'm pushed out of a nest, I'll plummet to my death. But beyond that, what is really going on in that egg? The bird is not fully formed yet. It is a slow, gradual process. There may be some truth in the work of the body busting out of the shell that is good for the bird. But it doesn't grow solely because there's a shell in the way. And why does the shell break? Because the bird is ultimately stronger than it. And that first crack develops where the egg has least resistance. The bird isn't struggling for the sake of it; he's forced to get out, so he looks for the path of least resistance. Funny no one ever says that unless a human fetus kicks the uterine walls it will never find its way out of the cervix. That would be ridiculous.

The more I've thought about it, the more our basic understanding is WRONG. Observing the natural world, all phenomena take the road of least resistance. Electricity flows where it isn't resisted. Water looks for any opening with least resistance. Gases are the same way. They all take the most open or weakest spot and rush out that way. Why? Because that makes sense! Everything in our world seeks to be able to move, and does so in areas of lower pressure. Sometimes these pressure levels balance out. Usually, one is stronger than the other.

Taking it back to humanity, where did we ever get the idea that more pressure meant more good result for us? In what universe does pushing against higher pressures make you more likely to succeed? It doesn't; it wearies you out. You are only able to succeed when the pressures are lowered. This is of course only relating to things that are enclosed, but I think you get my meaning. Let's look at a balloon. Too much outside air pressure, and it won't even inflate. But too much internal pressure (that is, you blow it up too far) and it will explode. This is a crude and unscientific illustration, but I think you get my meaning.

I'm not advocating a life without any pressures at all. I never said humanity thrives in a land of NO resistance. Without use, your muscles will atrophy. But nobody would advocate placing a refrigerator on someone's foot and then telling him to kick until he's strong enough to move it. The guy would struggle until he could get his foot out from under the refrigerator and hope that his leg still works. There's an old saying: "Nature abhors a vacuum." What that really means is that in the presence of empty space, the full parts rush to fill it. The pressures of the world spread so that there is no empty space. And the path they take to do this is the path of least resistance.

This nonsense of struggle seems most prevalent to me among Christians. There is what I consider heresy floating about that a good Christian life is a hard Christian life, and that when everything goes wrong, that means you are being godly. Yes, the life is not always going to be simple and easy. As Westley said in The Princess Bride, "Life is pain, higness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something." I agree. But most pain in the Christian life comes from external persecution. That is, we were warned that others would hate and despise us. Jesus however said that "My yoke is easy and my burden is light." Note, he still yokes and there is still a burden; but its lightness speaks to it being less resistant than that of the world. Jesus offers ease. I'm not suggesting there are no trials, etc. But to actively tell people to essentially seek out high pressure and difficulty with the promise of growth is unnatural and dangerous. Consider the parable of the sower; was it on rocky or thorny soil that the seed best grew? That would seem to be most resistant, yes? So I should expect a stronger result? NO. It was on good soil. In the soil burdened with the pressures of the world, the seed gave up and died! All life has some pressure or struggle built into it. There is always dirt on top of our seed. But let's not lose sight of the fact that the road we take in that struggle out, is always the simplest road possible.

"There's an obvious attraction to the road of least resistance," Alanis Morissette once sang. What she said with ironic derision, I declare with conviction. It's time we as a society start living and thinking according to how things really are, and stop demonizing the path of least resistance.

Because it's Sunday

2011-01-02T12:48:00.000-05:00

Re-evaluating Fringe -- part one

2010-12-30T09:55:00.003-05:00

When Fox premiered Fringe several years ago, I watched. And I watched the following week. After that I might have caught a bit of an episode, but I had abandoned the show. It seemed like too much of a poor man's X-Files, and I didn't see it lasting or sustaining, so I didn't stick with it. Well, now it's in its third season and considered some of the best sci-fi on TV right now. So in fairness, I've decided to check out what I'm missing and see if it has improved. It's difficult with television, especially serialized television, knowing if you'll stick with something. I hate getting involved with a show only for it to drop away. Some shows grab you right away, others don't. If I don't perceive something to have legs, I ignore it. I gave up on V awhile ago. I haven't even looked at The Event (and it seems I made the right choice there). But then there's things like Caprica which I tried to give a fair chance, though I didn't much like it, and it was canceled. Some great shows only pick up in their second or third year (Star Trek: The Next Generation, The X-Files), and since Lost is gone, I'll risk giving Fringe another go.

I've just finished watching the first season, and it's a better show than I had first considered it, but it's also not much more. While Lost had a great two-hour pilot, Fringe's feels too bogged down in mythology. It tries to dump far too much exposition on us at once. X-Files worked because it's mythology slowly grew over a year and a half. To have all this information about Dr. Bishop, Massive Dynamic, the Pattern, Tony Scott, etc. just felt like too much. And the excursion to Bagdad for a three-minute scene feels really out of place in retrospect.

The similarities to X-Files are glaring throughout the season, whether intentional or not. However, in all cases, X-Files is better. We have FBI agent working for secret government department involving bizarre events, a larger conspiracy, a skeptical character, experiments on children in their past, the woman gets abducted halfway through the season, etc. Fringe's conspiracy is based around evil corporations rather than U.S. Government. Some of these similarities are not surprising; sometime X-Files writer Darin Morgan is a "consulting producer" on the show. Other writers include show creators Kurtzman and Orci (the new Star Trek and the Transformers movies), Akiva Goldsman (Ron Howard's pet screenwriter), and Zack Whedon (Joss Whedon's brother). I'm no fan of Whedons.

I like Walter Bishop as a character, though in the early episodes he was too much of a joke for his own good. John Noble is an actor at his best playing someone insane. It's good to see Joshua Jackson in something good for change.

On the whole, it seems like the season doesn't quite know where it's going. There's a lot of talk of "The Pattern", but it felt more like they came up with a catchy name but had no idea what to apply it to. As the season went on, I'm buying it less. I don't like calling it "Fringe division". It seems like an arbitrary way to use the name of the show, again chosen because it sounds cool. The first chunk of episodes focused on William Bell and Massive Dynamic as the enemy, with John Scott as a double agent. Fine. Then the Scott stuff got strained (an contradictory) until it was dropped altogether. Suddenly we were introduced to Mr. Jones and ZFT and nearly everything from the first half was ignored. Only at season's end did they connect ZFT to William Bell, which frankly was necessary because otherwise they had shifted antagonists on us.

I hate the way the series does location legends. HATE them. And I hate that the same font was used in the new Star Trek movie. On the other hand, I like the little symbols that pop up during commercial breaks. I began to see there had to be some sort of logic behind them, and the DVD confirms that it is code. Cool.

It's also wonderful how long each episode is. Standard television drama these days runs about 42 minutes. Fringe gets a full 49 to 50. That's the same length as classic Star Trek and other series of the 1960s. I love that Fox allowed less commercial time for that. The show feels far less choppy than it otherwise might.

Fringe is set in and around Boston primarily, and this has caused some laughable concern for me. It's hard to suspend my disbelief sometimes, as a resident of the state. In the early episodes, it felt like the writers were just looking at a map and pulling out names. Locales looked nothing like what they should have. Now, as the series improved, so did their settings. It began to look more like Greater Boston. The early excursion at South Station was a joke. I do like the name-dropping of various towns. But just when I was ready to praise them for getting better, the season finale featured Walter taking a train ride to Grafton. This is fine. Grafton is a commuter stop; I used to take that train. But he gets off at a beach-side house. NO WAY. Grafton is west of Boston and is inland. It's almost to Worcester. There is no ocean in Grafton. That's REALLY lazy. I also realize exteriors are never real. David Kelley was good about exterior shots on his series. I could even look past the Boston Public Library being a courthouse on Boston Legal. But Fringe wants us to believe the Hancock Tower is the "Boston Federal Building". I might have bought it if it weren't the tallest and most famous tower in the city. That's like calling the Empire State Building a Toyota dealership.

Kurtzman and Orci are also proving that they have no idea about multiverses. They seem obsessed with the idea, and it's polluting everything they write. The new Star Trek movie, it filtered into Lost briefly (care of Damon Lindelof), and I wouldn't be surprised if it's a point in the next Transformers. They seem to love the idea, and yet don't understand it beyond the TNG episode "Parallels". So far, it seems the show's mythology is about scientists building an army to fight coming invaders from a parallel universe. Fine. I don't know why we will be invaded from a parallel universe, but whatever. But it's becoming more ripped off from Stephen King's Dark Tower series, and confused. Liv has flashed of the other universe, and it's described as "deja vu". They say that deja vu is when you experience another universe. That's insane. That would only make sense if the universes were out of temporal sync, but they aren't. Deja vu means you experience something you've already seen. It does not mean you relive a moment you've already lived in another universe. Deja vu does not describe what's happening. This is not a causality loop we're talking about. I now have a hard time trusting the writers.

At season's end, William Bell is played by Leonard Nimoy. Nice choice. And there's a revelation about Peter that, if you were following the tiny hints from the season, wasn't terribly shocking. But I hate that it ends with Liv in a parallel universe in the World Trade Center. That makes no sense. That would mean that she has not only crossed into another world, but that she's crossed space as well, which never happened in any previous shifts. Did Bell just beam her there? That felt like a cheap gag to get a reaction.

Anyway, I'm liking the basic character interactions and stuff, less liking the overall mythology. I know as the show goes on, we'll be more in the parallel world. But I don't trust these writers with it because they seem to not have a clue about what they write. Well, I'll plow on to season 2 for now.

2010-12-26T12:23:00.000-05:00

2010-12-24T09:38:00.000-05:00

I have this album on vinyl.

GLEE: "A Very Glee Christmas"

2010-12-23T19:23:00.002-05:00

Well, they did a Christmas episode and for the most part it just ripped off various other televised Christmas episodes and specials. Not much to write home about, and little of consequence happened.

The main title was on a festive green background rather than a black one. I thought that was cute.

The glee club have found a tree in the street and are decorating it with stolen ornaments. It's pathetic, just like them. Might this be a sly reference to A Charlie Brown Christmas? Mr. Shue suggests they need to get in the holiday spirit, with which Finn heartily agrees. Mr. Shue says they will go caroling around classrooms to raise money and donate it to a local homeless shelter. The classroom caroling is a terrible idea. The students are not into it at all. One questions carolers who bring a band (this is a good point). The teacher throws a shoe at them. That ends that.

Mr. Shuster says that Christmas is about being grateful for what's happened in the year. Puck rightly responds, "I thought that was Thanksgiving." We will see throughout the night that nobody seems to know what Christmas is about.

Rachel asks Finn to meet her in the auditorium. When he gets there, she offers him a Christmas present: a solo sung by her. Way to think of others, Rachel. Despite being Jewish, she offers this Christmas gift as a peace offering to Finn hoping it will make things okay again between them. Somewhere in there someone says Christmas is about forgiveness. Again, no it isn't. I guess in a real stretch you can say that since Jesus came to forgive sin and Christmas is about Jesus it is sort of about forgiveness, but not really. Finn tells her he can't just forgive her that easily, and leaves her to sing her song alone; "Merry Christmas, Darling." It's not a fabulous song, but it's actually appropriate to this moment, which can't be said for many of the songs in this episode. A shame there's no mention of Chanukkah at all considering two of their leads are Jewish.

Artie learns the disturbing fact that Brittany still believes in Santa. But he doesn't want to come down on her and tell her the truth so he suggests they all go to the mall and ask Santa for something. I have no idea what he hoped to accomplish this way, other than continuing to validate a delusional belief. Things seem fine until Brittany does what you know she's going to do: she asks the impossible. Just like in every single TV show ever made where a kid asks Santa for something. She asks for Artie to be able to walk on Christmas morning. And the mall Santa agrees to it! Somebody fire this guy!

Back at Dalton Academy, Blaine asks Kurt to help him rehearse his duet, "Baby, It's Cold Outside." Kurt of course takes the female line. It's not bad, though some of the fun suggestiveness of the lyric isn't played up. I love this song, and it rightly won an Academy Award.

Coach Beiste has decided to run a Secret Santa for the faculty. Everyone draws a name and has to buy a gift for that person. Will gets Sue Sylvester. Since Will is terrible at getting gifts (we briefly see a Christmas with Terri in flashback -- yay Terri!), he goes to Dalton Academy to ask Kurt for advice. The gymanstics needed to keep Kurt in the show are starting to annoy me. First, they overused him. Then he's gone from the school but they still feel the need to have him in every episode. So we continue to get weird visits from him and to him each episode. I don't know how long this can last. We're getting into "Mr. Worf, what the hell are you doing here?" territory; where the Star Trek: The Next Generation movies had to concoct reasons for Worf to not be on DS9. Isn't it enough that we see Kurt at Dalton? Do we need to keep him interacting with the old friends too? Maybe as the season goes on, they should have episodes without Kurt. Maybe even do an episode set entirely at Dalton Academy. It can't survive the way it's going.

Kurt's suggestion for Sue's gift is a track suit with a fur-lined hood for the winter months. This is a nice idea. But it turns out Sue has rigged Secret Santa, and thus everyone had her name. She now has a horde of gifts from an angry faculty and won't give them back. This is one reason I hate Secret Santa. It's almost never a good idea, yet workplaces consistently institute it. At least it's better than a Yankee Swap. Later on, the faculty take the gifts back, but can't return them because Sue has opened them all (and licked them, she claims). The faculty decides to donate them to the homeless shelter, and puts them all under the glee club's tree. Sue objects, but Will calls her a grinch and leaves. ...I'm sure you know where this is going.

In yet another flagrant rip-off that far exceeds nodding homage or parody, the show does How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Sue decides to steal her presents back. She puts on a Santa suit and paints herself green. Why? "Camouflage". Yeah, because you'll blend right in THAT way and won't look like a green Sue. Come on. There's a funny reference to My Lai though. She dresses Becky up as a "rein-dog", that is, she has floppy dog ears and one antler, just like Max. Why bother making her part dog at all? It's stupid. Anyway, they sneak around the room taking presents, stealing ornaments from the tree, even doing that sliding-around-on-the-floor gag from the cartoon, all while we hear the strains of "You're a mean one, Sue the Grinch." I was so annoyed by this. As if it wasn't bad enough, Brittany walks in on the destruction, and thinks Sue is Santa. Brittany cannot be this stupid. She just met a mall Santa who was black. She now believes a green-faced woman to be the same person. She's that blinded by Santa magic. Anyway, this scene exists solely to make Brittany the "Cindy-Lou Who"; her hair is done up in little braids and they exchange the exact same dialogue. And once again, the fib about the light that's out fools the child. This is not funny, this is just lazy writing.

With the tree destroyed, everyone is depressed but Finn tries to buoy spirits. He and Rachel go out shopping for a new tree, but again Rachel tries to patch things up. The tree place starts playing "Last Christmas" by Wham! which Rachel says is "my favorite Christmas song". Seriously. Okay, I'll forgive you that because you're Jewish, Rachel. Anyway, logic is cast aside as Rachel and Finn sing the song, but the Wham! vocal is never heard. Is the tree place just playing some instrumental version? And then what's worse is a chorus comes in singing back-up. Who is singing that? The music in this episode is so messed up. You can tell that it's all just excuses to use tracks from the Christmas album and not the other way around. And their song choice throughout is bizarre. The club opens the episode singing that song from the Island of Misfit Toys in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Complete with the silly dialogue about being a train with square wheels and all. What's worse, all the choral parts seem mixed far lower than the solos. This is fine for a record, but completely illogical if they are all singing together in a room. I try to suspend disbelief with this show, but the mix is so far off in this episode. And back-up singers come in when there is no one there on-screen. Not only "Last Christmas", but "Merry Christmas, Darling" have vocals that come from nowhere.

Finn tells Rachel that they are officially broken up, because he can't get over the fact that both of his girlfriends have cheated on him. They do not buy a tree. Back at glee club, Mr. Shuster walks in on the group deciding to "go 'Gift of the Magi'" to raise money to replace the presents. The boys will sell their watches and the girls will sell their hair. Thankfully he stops them from executing this stupid idea. He asks if any of them have ever read "Gift of the Magi" and no one has, which is evident. At least this scene errs on the side of parody. Not like that awful 7th Heaven episode where they did the O. Henry story verbatim. Santana says everyone knows the point of the story is that "Christmas sucks" or something like that. Here would have been a golden opportunity to use a song like "Hard Candy Christmas", but of course the powers that be are not that smart. And whatever point was to be made about "Gift of the Magi" never gets made. The conversation just sort of shifts.

The guys convince Coach Beiste to dress as Santa and go to Brittany's house to explain that he can't make Artie walk. This scene continues a storyline that's already ridiculous. We learn that Brittany's parents "want her to believe" too. So it's their fault that she is so dumb! This is bordering on child abuse. And Brittany believes that Coach Beiste, with a fake beard, is Santa. The same Santa who was black at the mall, and a beardless green woman at school. What saves this scene from total awfulness is that Beiste tells a story of when she was a girl and all she wanted was to be like the other girls. Instead, Santa gave her patience. It's a very moving scene. It's also got a witty line in there when Beiste says there was once a husky little girl, and Brittany asks if it was Ricki Lake. I like Coach Beiste and they way they write her. She is a glimmer of goodness in a lackluster season.

The visit from "Santa" shakes Brittany's faith, and Artie takes her home from school the next day. They miss out on the performance Mr. Shue has arranged: the glee club is caroling for the faculty. Finn gives a little speech about how when things are bad at Christmas, there's "nothing a little more Santa or a few more Jingle Bells can't fix." Nonsense! At this point, I'm just wanting to go all Charlie Brown and shout "Isn't there ANYONE who KNOWS what Christmas is all ABOUT?" Note that Jesus gets no mention at all in this episode. Not saying we need Linus to quote Luke 2, but I need a little more than just recycling Dr. Seuss.

And speaking of which, the circle completes as New Directions start singing "Fa-who fores, da-who dores..." Really, you've come to sing Christmas songs and you open with that? And Sue the Grinch hears from her office and lightens up, bringing back all the gifts. I wonder if she has an enlarged heart now. They also sing "Christmas day will always be just as long as we have glee". Those aren't the words. Do they mean glee like the club? Glee like the feeling? Either way, it totally ruins the sentiment of the song. The lyric is "Just as long as we have we." While it might seem cutesy to throw the name of the show in, it undercuts the message of togetherness that Seuss was conveying.

Artie and Brittany discovered a present under her tree for Artie. It is a robotic pair of legs that enable Artie to stand and walk a bit. Nobody knows where they came from. So the episode ends like all these shows do, with a Christmas miracle and the granting of the impossible. I will give the show points however for showing us that it was Coach Beiste who provided them. Any other TV show would have had "the real Santa" be the gifter. I've seen it over and over. I was very glad that at least that cliché was avoided.

Despite that one brief glimmer, the episode was little to write home about. It was a hackneyed smattering of familiar Christmas tropes. I was glad that they didn't try to cram It's a Wonderful Life in there too, though I fear next year they might try. There wasn't much in the way of real brilliance beyond a few good jokes. And I think part of what bothers me most is this need they all felt to keep Brittany believing in something they know to be a lie. It's aggravating because earlier this season Kurt had expressed trouble with religion, equating God with Santa Claus. But God is NOT Santa Claus, and this episode is a classic example of why the two should be clearly defined. When Brittany finally learns "the truth", what will that do to her? I mean, if Finn had a crisis of faith over a grilled cheese sandwich, what will become of Brittany? But of course, God got no mention at all in this episode; what does Christmas have to do with God anyway?

Songs in this week's episode:

The Most Wonderful Day of the Year

We Need a Little Christmas

Merry Christmas, Darling

Baby, It's Cold Outside

You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

Last Christmas

Welcome Christmas

Next week: Glee is on hiatus until the spring. What will the rest of the season hold? We can be sure of a return from Sunshine. I just hope the quality goes back up and we get episodes like "Duets" again, and nothing approaching the awful that was "The Rocky Horror Glee Show".

GLEE: "Special Education"

2010-12-01T17:03:00.002-05:00

Sectionals are upon us! This episode had a bit more for the Mr. Shue/Emma shippers. He invites her to Sectionals as a kind of good luck charm. She points out what the audience has been saying since last year: that his set list is going to include Rachel and Finn doing some ballad and then a classic rock number where Mercedes hits the final note. I'm glad the show is taking its criticism and working it into the story points. At Emma's suggestion, Mr. Shue decides its time to spotlight some other talent in the group. He announces that the solos will be going to Quinn and Sam. Rachel is not at all happy. Mr. Shue also says that there will be dancing featuring Brittany and Mike Chang. He knows their competition will not be into movement. This is a very good idea. For their past competition performances, the group has been barely choreographed, even though they've had more movement in their repertoire and they have good dancers. Why did it take them a year to realize this?

The group is turned against itself in this episode. It was nice to see this kind of drama back after the "we all love each other" stuff the season started with. I like when Rachel is mean and they call her on it. We don't often get to see that side of her anymore, and there was a throwaway reference to her gay dads who we also don't much hear about. In the chaos of Mr. Shue's bombshell, Santana tells Rachel that she and Finn knew each other biblically. This puts Rachel and Finn's relationship on the rocks, mostly because Rachel is very insecure about her own looks when compared to Santana.

Brittany is nervous about dancing in competition with everything depending on her. Artie gives her a comb, saying it is a magic comb that guarantees they will win. Yes, Rachel is just dumb enough to believe in such things, and Glee has just given us an homage to Dumbo.

There's a point where Rachel seeks couple's therapy for her and Finn... with Emma the guidance counselor. It's not very helpful, but it was kind of funny. The best part was Rachel asking if it would be useful to hit Finn, and Emma saying no, but suggesting she storm out.

Meanwhile, Kurt is having trouble settling into his new life at Dalton Academy. Their glee club, the Warblers, are much more uniform and structured than he is used to. He is used to screaming for attention, whereas the Warblers are about a sense of team. It's tradition to present new members with a literal warbler, a small bird to take care of. Why? To make a handy metaphor for Kurt, of course. Glad the show avoided the phrase "I know why the caged bird sings". Kurt is given the opportunity to audition for a solo in competition. He asks Rachel what he should sing, and she suggests "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina". We are treated to an intercutting of Rachel and Kurt singing the song (similar to the "Defying Gravity" last year). I think it was an odd choice, and the Warblers seem to deem it "trying too hard". The best bit is when it cuts to Rachel and she's actually up in a balcony singing. It's just so absurd.

There's a moment when Rachel walks into glee club with duct tape over her mouth in silent protest over Mr. Shue's decision. Firstly, let me just say I hate silent protests. I find them so snobby and ridiculous. Besides, they are usually perpetrated by whiny outspoken people and the chance to not have to listen to them for awhile strikes me as a boon and doesn't sell their protest. It's a funny gag for the show though because it is the sort of thing high schoolers sometimes try, and because Rachel is so bad at it. She doesn't go a minute without removing the tape to explain why she's protesting. Thankfully, Mr. Shue yells at her for it and her attitude.

Tina becomes suspicious of Mike Chang and Brittany, fearing they are doing more than just dance practice. She starts dressing sort of like a goth cheerleader (which leads to a funny exchange with Artie) and tells Artie she suspects Brittany is cheating on him.

I was wondering what they would do about the missing slot now that Kurt is gone. Mr. Shue asks Puck to help him recruit someone. He tries to sell the football players on joining glee club with a speech about Bruce Springsteen. It doesn't work. It seems any football players who would be interested are already in the club. They lock Puck in a port-a-potty for a day. He is rescued by a large girl wrestler. She becomes their newest member.

Finally, it's time for competition with everyone mad at everyone else. Emma cannot go because her dentist boyfriend still doesn't trust Will. So they proceed without their good luck charm. The first group up is a bunch of seniors who've gone back to high school to get their diplomas. This seems to be a shout out to Young At Heart and those kinds of elderly singing groups. They perform "The Living Years", which I think is kind of a funny choice of song for old people. It was strange though because the song was edited oddly and ended at a weird point.

Next up is the Warblers. Of course Blaine gets the solo (what happened to the two guys who beat Kurt for the solo at auditions? Did the Warblers do another song that we don't get to see?). They do an a cappella version of "Hey Soul Sister", another song that I find terribly annoying. The words make no sense. What's next, LFO's "Summer Girls"? Despite my feelings about the song, they do it with a lot of nice harmonies. Kurt seems to enjoy himself, and when they are done, Mercedes leads a standing ovation.

Brittany is upset that she has lost the magic comb (just like Dumbo), and Artie tells her that she doesn't need it (just like Dumbo). She has not been cheating on Artie. Artie and Tina apologize to their significant others. Mr. Shue gives a big pep talk, and on we go.

Oh no, we're starting with a walk down the aisle from the back AGAIN. They did it at Sectionals last year. They did it at Regionals last year. Frankly, I'm really tired of it. Anyway, it's Sam and Quinn singing their duet. Their song is "(I've Had) The Time of My Life", you know, from Dirty Dancing. Their performance is decent. Even though it's not the most inspired of songs, considering the rest of their performance will be dance-heavy, it was nice to have a song that reminds us of dance. As they finish, Santana blasts a solo vocal on "Valerie". Santana's hair looks weird. I don't know if she's wearing some kind of hat thing or something, but it looks stupid. Mike Chang and Brittany have an amazing dance, and the rest of the group have some good moves thrown in as well. If they keep up this sort of thing, they can beat Vocal Adrenaline next time around. It was so refreshing to see dancing at competition.

It turns out that the winner of Sectionals is... a TIE. Both New Directions and the Warblers are going to Regionals. Well, of course they are. Because Kurt's in the other group.

Emma tells Mr. Shue that while they were at Sectionals, she and Carl went to Vegas and got married. Oh no! What will this mean for Will and Emma's relationship? Is it officially over? Personally, I'm hoping this leads to a more permanent return of his ex-wife Terri.

Rachel's jealousy has calmed down and she and Finn seem to have patched things up. He promises no more lies. ...uh oh, you know what that means. Rachel feels the need to come clean about something. She says that she had a little make-out session with Puck in retaliation. I'm curious just what she told Finn, because what we see happened is that Puck backs off, saying he can't hurt Finn that way again. Either way, Finn is ticked at Rachel. He rightly says that they weren't together when he was with Santana, and that Rachel is just mean. It seems they are broken up... again. Sheesh, it's like Ross and Rachel all over again.

The episode ends with Mercedes and Tina singing solos as the group does "Dog Days Are Over" in celebration. It's good hearing Tina sing again! I really wish she got more to do; they don't let her sing enough. Maybe she'll get a solo at regionals.

This episode was much more like classic Glee than the show has been for awhile. There were callbacks to previous episodes, some good lines, most of the major relationship threads, and some good performance. It still frustrates me that they don't know how to do the show this way on a consistent basis. I will say though there was a conspicuous lack of Sue Sylvester this week.

Song's in tonight's episode:

Don't Cry For Me, Argentina

The Living Years

Hey, Soul Sister

(I've Had) The Time of My Life

Valerie

Dog Days Are Over

Next week's episode: You'd think that with Sectionals over, that would be the end of new episodes until after the holidays. But you'd be wrong! They want to squeeze in a Christmas episode! With Christmas music! Why? So they can sell a Christmas album! One wonders how much the church/state issues surrounding Christmas in public schools will effect the storyline.

What Gives, Paul Simon?

2010-11-27T21:07:00.003-05:00

Something has bothered me in the past year. It's not a matter of any import, I just find it curious. It involves the music of Simon and Garfunkel and the messing with songs that were fine the way they were.

Now as it is, there's the two different versions of "The Sound of Silence". But this really isn't Paul's doing and it doesn't make much difference. The original version appeared on their debut album, Wednesday Morning, 3 AM. Then the producer decided to issue it as a single, but added a backing "rock" track. That version was issued as a single and appeared on the Sound of Silence album that followed. That's the one you're probably familiar with, where the drums kick in on verse 2. It's a nice addition. I don't really see the need, and the song is otherwise exactly the same. I guess sometimes I'm in the mood for a little extra kick in it. But that's not the only song toyed with in the Simon and Garfunkel canon, nor the one I want to talk about.

I really like their debut album. It's partially original and partially covers, but I think it's a nice cohesive whole and better than a couple of albums that followed. One of my favorite songs on it is the title song, which closes the album. It's a somber sort of internal monologue on a guy having to leave his girl in the middle of the night after an act of crime. The vocals are sweet, and I think the mood of the piece fits the hour it's supposed to be taking place. It's also an evocative title, "Wednesday Morning, 3 AM." It's like a musical poem.

Wednesday Morning, 3 A.M.

So it's a real head-scratcher for me when I listen to the follow-up album, The Sound of Silence. About halfway in, there's a song called "Somewhere They Can't Find Me" which is just a reworked version of "Wednesday Morning." Chunks of the verses are pulled out or changed, and it's become a pop song, with a repeating chorus. The lead character becomes more of a lowlife figure in this reading, and I just think it harshes the poetry of the precedent song.

Somewhere They Can't Find Me

Furthermore, it's one thing to mess with a previous song but this was the title track of the previous album! It was the last song on the record! It must have been a big deal for Simon if he named the album for it, so why sully that song by changing it so drastically and rerecording it? Was he unhappy with the first version? Was it simply an experiment in telling the same thing two different ways? Did Columbia Records want more pop-sounding stuff? I'm really curious to know. Surely artists sometimes manipulate one song from another, but I don't think I've seen it officially released in both versions or done so blatantly. It's like they become two seperate songs, but they aren't. Dylan often worked one song out of pieces from another that wasn't working. There's a fabulous outtake released recently called "Dreamin' of You" which eventually morphed into "Standing in the Doorway". Both are great songs. But the key is that Dylan picked the one he thought worked and put it on the album. I'm just staggered by what I consider to be an odd blip in the Simon and Garfunkel repertoire. And that the two appear in such close temporal proximity surprises me.

On a personal note, I really don't like "Somewhere They Can't Find Me." I think it takes everything that was good about the first song and kills it off in favor of commercialism. Give a listen to both and maybe leave me a comment telling me which one you prefer. And if you possibly stumble across this, Paul Simon, could you explain please?